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Verus Dilemma
Topic Started: Oct 23 2007, 08:10 PM (146 Views)
Mavrix
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Verus Dilemma

I do not see the plight,
in leaving fate behind.
There is no condemnation,
in relaying one's simple mind.
Out of all the horrors I could commit,
and wield from this earth below.
Believing the farce shall not vanquish.
It's certainly what death can show.
So while they have their dainty tales,
and their pruned shrubs of life.
I believe one's soul is frail,
it cannot stand the flight.

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I'd really like some feedback, specially because I have some questions. For instance, should poems consist of correct punctuation? I decided to add commas, and periods to the poem above, but does poetry even "use" it? Furthermore, what do you think of it's structure? It lined up pretty well, but it seems repetitive. Comments?
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ChipChamp
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Have fun!
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It was pretty good!

7/10

As far as punctuation is concerned... I don't think that you need it at all for poems. :)

~ ChipChamp
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+ *thebalanceiswithin
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that was very well done, very well done.

You should be proud of yourself :D
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** Death's servant
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Reflection
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that was verry good.
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+Linden
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awesomesauce
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Only if it helps it flow a little better, I think...
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