Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]


Add Reply
My Unnamed Story; My story that has no name yet
Topic Started: Nov 21 2007, 11:33 PM (342 Views)
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
When I woke up I realized that the sun was shining on a crystal clear lake. The grass was so full of color, and the wind blew so gently that the leaves danced across the ground. As I stood to get a better look around i realized i had no clue to where I was. This place was so full of life, and while I took this all in questions started to run through my mind. Where was I? How did I get here? And where are my friends? I only knew that i had to find my friends, and I had to get home. But how do I do this, and where should i look for my friends.

DAYS BEFORE

While AJ and I traversed through the dark alleys of Chungun. We stopped in the alley way because we had been running for at least three hours, suddenly we heard the sirens in the distance and approaching quickly. Still running down the alley way we found an open gate. As we ducked into it a police spot light lit up the entire alley where we were half a second ago. I stood next to the gate as the cops got closer and closer. The police were now twenty yards away when AJ tapped me on the shoulder and said “get in”. I turned around to look just to find a black 1963 split-window corvette sitting in the drive way.
“Aj, you take the car and i will meet you at park on the corner of 32st and Roswell in half an hour.” I said.
“Why should we split up?” AJ questioned
“That way if either of us get caught the other will still get away.” I told him.
“Oh okay i will see you there.” he smirked as he fired up the engine.

“That is two blocks north, right?” I questioned.“Don’t be late. I’m going to try to plow through this line of cops while you go through the house.“I should be there in 28 minutes” I said, as I made a run for the open kitchen door. Making my way silently through the house, just as I got to the front door a voice from behind me made me stop.“Who are you and what do you want” she demanded.“That, you should know the answer to, and I was just leaving.” I replied as I unlocked the dead bolt. She reached for the light but by the time she turned it on I as across the yard and running.Aj punched the gas to the floor and the corvette leapt towards the line of officers like a cheetah after its prey. The cops didn’t even have time to move before the car rammed into their bodies fell to the ground. While the cops were being crushed their guns clattered to the ground, but one officer was able to get a couple shots off and they went up the hood, through the windsheild missing Aj by inches and through the back windows. Aj finally got through the cops and ditched the car three blocks away from the park.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
+ *thebalanceiswithin
Member Avatar
Elite Member
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
It's good! but next time you should post your stories in "Your Stories" just so people know its your's.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
i was told to put it there
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
+Linden
Member Avatar
awesomesauce
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I didn't tell you to put it here, you silly goose! XD I said Your Stories, emphasis on your...
Probably get Chippy or someone to move it later.

Anyway, paragraphs are your friends. ;) I see this big ol' block of text and people don't really like to read big, daughting blocks of letters. I know I don't; I want it to be easy to read.

Keep writing.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
** Death's servant
Member Avatar
Reflection
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I like how you've refined it a little more. Again like lindin said paragraphs are good things. otherwise keep writing.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
God of The Congo
Member Avatar
Dead Poet
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I like it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
i wont be finishing this story cuz the notebook it was has been lost among space. sry for this
maybe i will write another one soon
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
** Death's servant
Member Avatar
Reflection
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Too bad man. I hope you find it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
so do i. it was a good story
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
** Death's servant
Member Avatar
Reflection
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
it was.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
thx
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
***eboy192
Member Avatar
[Insert witty catchphrase here]
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
hmm i liked it...gripping. too bad you cant find the rest =/ hope you find it
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
trust me so do i
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
** Death's servant
Member Avatar
Reflection
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
There was alot more too.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
*ichigo23
Member Avatar
Extreme Member
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
hey if you want to have a character in my new one go find my topic in off topic to fill it out
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Your Stories · Next Topic »
Add Reply



Skin orginally created by Tariq | Converted by Lewis of the ZetaBoard Theme Zone