| A New Years Tale | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 15 2007, 09:28 PM (307 Views) | |
| ***eboy192 | Dec 15 2007, 09:28 PM Post #1 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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The moon shone out like a perfectly circular crystal emanating light over the silken ocean. As I looked over the bow of the cruise ship, I thought about the woman waiting for me inside. How could such a beautiful specimen of human being want me? Here I am a lonely lawyer with as much personality as a doorknob, and a constantly used one at that. I had been born into a normal family, with the typical picket fence and dog named Lassie; I had constantly been following rules and went somewhere with my life, and now had a good salary, and a beautiful wife. Even so, I had a very vibrant inner self, which until I met Sarina even I didn’t know I had. She unlocked inside of me what no one else could; which is why I married her. My mind drifted back to normal thoughts; of how beautiful the ocean was. I had always loved the ocean, with its vast expanses it gave the feeling of complete and utter tranquility, and yet could at the same time cause so much destruction and grief with its violent parts. “It must be bipolar” I thought to myself with a grin as I walked back into the festively lit ballroom. Sarina and I were one of about sixty newlywed couples that had been sucked into a “Romance Cruise for the New Year”. It was about 10:00 PM and the party was in full swing. The vast expanse of a ballroom was ornamented with many little lights, wreaths, and red bows all around. As I looked around, familiar surroundings came into view; the bar up on the raised platform to the left, the enormous dance floor that took up most of the area of the room and was currently inhabited by a barrage of slightly drunk couples swinging their bodies to classic rock, and to the far right the small doors leading to the rooms. We had gotten the “romance suite”, which, being quite honest was, barely that. It was a small cabin about the size of a garage, with one queen sized bed and a nightstand. The bathroom was …quaint… a mere 5 feet across and 8 feet deep. As I stepped leisurely into the large expanse I scanned the room for my love; it took about 10 seconds until our eyes met; and she ran up and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. “I missed you” she sang into my ears over and over again, as if to never stop. “I missed you too love,” I replied, “What have you been up to?” “Uhh...*hic*…well I went to get a drink, you know from the nice bartender over there?” I nodded in agreement and beckoned her to continue. “And the drink was really gooood, and I went to dance, and then I got tired and sat down at the bar again, then I looked out and saw you being serious outside and I was going to come and talk to you but…but…” At which point she slumped over and, limp as a rag, fell onto me, asleep and drunk. I carried her across the room. “Thank god she is skinny,” I muttered to myself under my breath, “or I’d be a goner.” When we got to the door, I had to kick it open as she was still using both of my arms as pillows. I slowly made my way to our room, and put her in the bed. Her hair was still in a neat bun as she had made it earlier, and I thought it should hang loose, so I took the clip out and tried to put it in my pocket. It was so full, so I took everything out and decided I would worry about it tomorrow morning, for now just have fun. As I took my key, her clip, my cell phone, and my wallet out, I laid them on the nightstand and I kissed her on the cheek, and sang a sweet lullaby into her ear. I detected a slight twinge of a smile in her lips, and smiled as I closed and locked the door. As I made my way to the door to get back out into the ballroom, I felt as if nothing could ruin this evening. The second I walked back into the busy and elegant ballroom, I felt a pang of inexplicable fear and uneasiness. I lost my footing for a moment and almost fell into a couple of Latino lovers. After regaining my balance, I walked back out to the deck and leaned over the side. I kept getting drawn back to this view; it seemed to completely envelop me in its beauty. I was in a state of perfect relaxation when it happened. I suddenly jolted around as a shrill scream pierced the cool air. In its midst I heard a loud bang, and the scream stopped instantaneously, its life drained. I looked inside to find a man holding a gun and everyone around him staring in awe. Then, as if on cue, everyone started screaming and all hell broke loose. I ran to the window as I watched the seemingly deranged man pounce on random groups of people, firing shots madly into the air. Where was the security? There were no guards to be seen. One by one people rushed back into the cabins, desperate to get to their rooms and lock the thick metal door. My instinct told me to run; only problem was, I was as far as I could go without jumping off the side of the boat. Then my mind took over, and everything I could think of tried to barge into my head at once. If I could just sneak past him and get to the cabin with Sarina, I would be ok. The gunman was now walking around the almost deserted ballroom waving his gun and screaming indiscernible words. I walked slowly up to the door, and tried my best to crawl without drawing attention to myself. I got to the second row of stairs fine. “Ok, good,” I thought to myself, “only the dance floor to go.” Little did I know at that moment the gunman decided to turn around and run in my direction; my heart stopped. He skidded to a halt in the middle of the dance floor and pointed his gun in my direction. At this point I had two choices: first, I could attempt to talk to a crazed man with a gun and a serious vendetta against society. Second, I could attempt to run as fast as I could towards the door and hope he wasn’t fast or a good shot. I assumed the former wasn’t worth trying, so I went with the latter. “Let’s hope to god he doesn’t know how to use that thing” I thought as I counted down in my head. 3… 2… 1… Now! My body rushed with adrenaline as I began to sprint across the lighted dance floor; ironic the things you notice in times of near death, I noticed that one block was not lit; probably from being shot at. I heard several shots behind me, but didn’t bother to turn around. I imagined myself rushing through the door and getting into my room, and suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I half-collapsed, but kept running. I had never run this hard or fast in my life, let alone being shot. As I came ever closer to the door the gunman ran out of bullets and I heard him swear under his breath. It sounded like he pulled out more ammo from his pocket; I was not about to turn around and find out. I rushed through the door to the cabins and looked to my right; there were all of the guards, asleep next to a TV. Someone had seriously slipped up, and on a bad night too. I rushed to them and shook one on the shoulders. “Wha?” He grunted with an angry scowl. “Theres a man with a gun! Im shot!” I screamed into his face. This woke all of them up. They got up in a flurry and for a second seemed very confused, then suddenly determined to save the day. “Where is he?” One man stated with an air of command. “Outside!” I yelled, and I rushed off down the hall. I suddenly thought to remember which room I was in, and remembered it said on the key. I reached into my pocket; where was it?! I had left it in my room! “Oh shit.” I muttered as I tore down the hallway to my room. My only hope was that Sabrine wasn’t too asleep to hear my screams. Suddenly I stopped as I heard several shots and a scream. The scream sounded like the man with the gun. “Well, that takes care of that” I thought to myself as my heart dropped in rate. “Now all that’s left is to get into my room.” --- I read in the paper a week later about the man who had attacked the boat. He had been divorced a week before, and his ex wife was on the cruise with another man. He had snuck on with the hopes of killing his ex-wife; he accomplished this, but was drunk and didn’t know when to stop. One thing about the article kept crossing my mind, however. They kept talking about how the true hero of the night was not the guard who shot and arrested him, but the man who had the presence of mind to wake the guards, who are now suspended from the force for sleeping on the job. They said he must have been a very good man, with a brave heart. I thought this was a bit exaggeratory, but I would accept it. As I put the paper down, Sarine came into the room. “Hey you, my hero” She said with a contentment unlike any I had ever seen. “I guess I did pretty well, didn’t I?” I asked in a sort of half joke. After that experience, I was a changed man. I tried more things, did more interesting activities, and overall made myself a more interesting person. You know why? Because when I had that fear of losing everything I had, I realized I cant spend my life living according to rules others had set. I had to take life and run, and if I get shot along the way who cares, you can still do something great. |
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| +Linden | Dec 15 2007, 10:35 PM Post #2 |
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awesomesauce
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That was very nice and entertaining. :) |
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| ***eboy192 | Dec 15 2007, 10:39 PM Post #3 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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thanks :) it was my first try at a short...was it too long or short? |
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| +Linden | Dec 15 2007, 10:53 PM Post #4 |
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awesomesauce
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Don't worry about the length. What matters is if the meaning gets across. Quality over quantity.
;) But it's a good length for a short story, anyway. |
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| + ****+Child of the Night | Dec 16 2007, 12:14 AM Post #5 |
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What is the price of freedom?
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Very nicely done! Nice moral! |
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| ChipChamp | Dec 16 2007, 01:19 AM Post #6 |
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Have fun!
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Did that happen in real life? |
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| ***eboy192 | Dec 16 2007, 05:51 AM Post #7 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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no..it was actually about a dream I had believe it or not |
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| ChipChamp | Dec 16 2007, 07:42 AM Post #8 |
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Have fun!
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Just wondering cause of the last 4 paragraphs you put. :D lol |
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| ***eboy192 | Dec 16 2007, 08:00 AM Post #9 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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haha yeah well thats the moral i got from the dream =P |
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| + ****+Child of the Night | Dec 16 2007, 10:14 AM Post #10 |
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What is the price of freedom?
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Yay for morals! I love your description of the lawyer.
That amused me to no end (I'm in Mock Trial at school) |
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| ***eboy192 | Dec 16 2007, 02:34 PM Post #11 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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haha =P 'twas the goal |
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| ** Death's servant | Dec 16 2007, 02:38 PM Post #12 |
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Reflection
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Very well done. I couldn't take my eyes off of it after the first paragraph. It seemed like a true story; you must have vivid dreams. Za badness}------------------------------------------------X---{Za goodness |
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| ***eboy192 | Dec 16 2007, 02:47 PM Post #13 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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I had been not sure as to whether to write it longer but I felt like it was moving too slowly so i quickened the pace considerably - do you think it would have been better with more body to it? |
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| ** Death's servant | Dec 16 2007, 02:49 PM Post #14 |
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Reflection
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It was a good length. |
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