| This Body | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 8 2008, 06:07 PM (300 Views) | |
| + ****+Child of the Night | Feb 8 2008, 06:07 PM Post #1 |
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What is the price of freedom?
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Why was I cursed With this body? So perfect, Such an annoyance Eyes of emerald, Hair of fire Slim to a fault And curved to the extreme Eyes follow me As I walk down the hall Longing and hatred, Lust and admiration They say they Want to be me, So discontented Sick of being invisible In this body, That is what I want, Much too visible A pretty face in the crowd Disease ravaged Always sick So pale Still envied But who looks Beyond the visible To the pain inside To the person within They say I am beautiful, But only a few really mean it Only a few know me well enough To fully judge Let me become invisible To all but those who Love me for me Not the body I was trapped in Save your envy For those who want it Save your lust For those who will appreciate it |
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| ChipChamp | Feb 8 2008, 06:11 PM Post #2 |
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Have fun!
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Very good, Cotton! I liked it! The rhymes were good.
:D 8/10 ~ ChipChamp |
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| + ****+Child of the Night | Feb 8 2008, 06:17 PM Post #3 |
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What is the price of freedom?
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I rhymed? Oh... Cool! |
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| ChipChamp | Feb 8 2008, 06:23 PM Post #4 |
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Have fun!
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LOL! Well, sure... I wasn't paying attention.
:P I meant to say that you had good Rhythms. Not exactly Rhymes. lol Still really good. :D |
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| ***eboy192 | Feb 8 2008, 08:00 PM Post #5 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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Wow. just...Wow. |
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| *Inkheart | Feb 8 2008, 10:40 PM Post #6 |
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Honorary Member
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You are pretty, although I never really thought of you that way, but look on the bright side! I'm straight, yet I'm more commonly called 'faggot' than my real name. I'm not being emo, or accusing you of being emo, but I suppose that it is one of the ultimate human conditions to long for what we don't have. BTW, great poem! It was a very distinct work that had an overall characterization suitable to the content. |
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| ** Death's servant | Feb 9 2008, 04:34 PM Post #7 |
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Reflection
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hmm.....I agree with inkey. I also agree with chips. Nicely done. |
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| God of The Congo | Feb 10 2008, 09:24 PM Post #8 |
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Dead Poet
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Well written. |
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