| The Last Julliet | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 8 2008, 07:55 PM (1,480 Views) | |
| ChipChamp | Feb 11 2008, 09:17 PM Post #16 |
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Have fun!
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Lol, good work.
:) I'd like to see a story on here go far! :D |
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| ***eboy192 | Feb 11 2008, 09:26 PM Post #17 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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I can only try =P |
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| +Linden | Feb 12 2008, 07:01 AM Post #18 |
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awesomesauce
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I feel like somebody will die in the next two or three chapters... THE END IS NEAR! :mellow: |
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| CrestfallenNights | Feb 12 2008, 10:26 PM Post #19 |
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Coming Or Going?
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The end? o.O Meh. Not what I think. It can go on for quite an interesting while, it seems. But those are just my thoughts. |
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| +Linden | Feb 13 2008, 03:54 PM Post #20 |
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awesomesauce
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I mean the end for a character, not necessarily the story (I don't believe stories end).
:) This reminds me of Survivor or another reality TV show were people get kicked off. And couldn't 'The Last Juliet' sound like another version of the Bachorette?
:D I think Jack will be 'voted' off. *runs away before an angry mob forms* :wacko: |
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| ***eboy192 | Feb 13 2008, 04:28 PM Post #21 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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*throws angry mob at linden* haha =P but I am gonna try and write chapter 4 tonight, if I dont fall asleep for 57480573 hours again |
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| ***eboy192 | Feb 13 2008, 06:15 PM Post #22 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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Ch. 4 --- It wasn't that I always had problems with my dad, and a lot of times, we had a lot of fun together. And Ive told you about the poem/riddles he used to write me, they were always fun, and I always wondered if they had some...deeper meaning; nah. They were what they were. I was playing chess with my father a few weeks later, it was an interesting game. He always started out the same way, and I had gotten used to countering his opening move. Still, he always ended up winning; I had no idea how, as he always seemed to win the same way. He always had his bishop diagonal to my king by the 30th move, and the next move I would hear his deep voice whisper, "Check Mate, Elyse". This time, though, I was determined to win. Instead of my usual counter, I changed up my strategy, and took out his bishops first. It was interesting to see him react to this, and he became more...mysterious with his playing, not over exaggerating my mistakes, as if he actually had to think this game. It was a shorter game than usual, and I actually ended up beating him. Unlike most games, I decided to protect my bishops, and see how it worked out. "Very good game Elyse, I see you became rebellious in your strategy. That is good." "Hah...So you were being rebellious by protecting your bishops?" "What if I were to say that I never protected my bishops, but you always assumed I was?" I had to think about this a lot, but I realized that he was trying to tell me something...I wasn't sure what though. Anyways, we bantered a bit more, and then the door opened and someone walked in. Just as I was about to put his King away into my "safe area" (the area where I kept all the pieces I had procured), the wind picked up from the door and blew it out of my hand. "No!" I yelled, as it blew out the window and onto the ground. I heard a tinkle of glass and my stomach dropped as I realized I had let one of Father's glass chess pieces break. He stood there for a second seeing me in shock, and immediately put his arm on my shoulder. "Its okay, Elyse, it wasn't your fault." I tried to believe him, but all I could hear inside my head was 'You stupid person! you broke his king!' I think he picked up on that, because later that night I found another note on my pillow. This time it read: Sure, the king, he may be gone But you must learn to not cry and wince For if the king has left his post Will he not be replaced by a prince? I smiled, and wondered if there was any way Father knew of Jack and I... No. We have worked too hard to keep 'us' a secret. Besides, if he knew, he would report us, being the honorable person he is. That night all I could dream was of the wince and pain I felt hearing the king shatter...but I will pick up the pieces tomorrow, and make him a new king. Maybe a prince. |
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| + ****+Child of the Night | Feb 13 2008, 06:41 PM Post #23 |
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What is the price of freedom?
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Ooooh!!! Haha, I know what's happening, this is great. Love the story, well done for being the sick one. Keep up the good work! |
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| +Linden | Feb 13 2008, 06:53 PM Post #24 |
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awesomesauce
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I really like this poem.
^_^ The poems have the same indulgent, paternal quality the riddles in DaVinci Code do. |
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| ** Death's servant | Feb 13 2008, 07:03 PM Post #25 |
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Reflection
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Amazing still. |
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| ***eboy192 | Feb 13 2008, 07:36 PM Post #26 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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thanks guys...if I miss school tomorrow (which I think I will) I'll try and write chapter 5 thinking as I have nothing better to do -.- |
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| ** Death's servant | Feb 13 2008, 07:42 PM Post #27 |
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Reflection
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It needs some tertiary characters. |
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| +Linden | Feb 13 2008, 08:03 PM Post #28 |
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awesomesauce
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Cha. New faces would be kinda nice... and a really good Elyse and Jack scene too (it would send the readers into heartache once he dies, if he dies.) |
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| ** Death's servant | Feb 13 2008, 08:05 PM Post #29 |
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Reflection
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I was thinking that only I was planing to kill him..........what? I like sad endings..... |
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| ***eboy192 | Feb 13 2008, 08:07 PM Post #30 |
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[Insert witty catchphrase here]
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maybe throw one of your mobs at him |
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