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| Random Demon Story | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 16 2008, 02:54 PM (595 Views) | |
| +Linden | Jun 16 2008, 02:54 PM Post #1 |
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awesomesauce
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So I started to write this the other day. The description of the room is actually my room and where I'm sitting right now. :$ I don't know where this came from, I just started to type. By no means is this done, I'm not sure if this is a chapter yet. I'm not sure where I want it to go either, I'm still typing. But I thought I'd post it anyway, get some feed back... maybe bounce ideas off you guys. I understand if you don't want to read it. It is kinda long. lol. :-/ I had my back to the white wall I never bothered to paint in my fifteen years of living in this house. To my left was my open closet, I had so many things I couldn’t slide the door shut properly. On my right was the foot of my queen-sized bed, comforters and pillows lay in a jumbled mess on the white sheet. The only light available in the bedroom was the laptop that was open a nearly 180 degrees on my propped up lap. I had a few oversized pillows and large stuffed animals from my childhood supporting my willowy spine. I was randomly surfing the internet, trying to find something of interest. It was late and I knew I should be in bed but the dull ache in my back, my spine, kept me from sleeping. It still hurt, the dull throb of a bad posture muddled with scoliosis. I needed my brace but I had absentmindedly left it at my grandparents’ house two states over in Texas. The pain reminded me of why I should never forget the stupid, clunky thing. I hated the brace, especially during the day when it made my movements blocky and awkward. The brace was a nuisance but at this moment I couldn’t deny the pain it could spare me. I wish I had it. I checked the news on Cnn, my usual web source for news. I watched FOX news when I could, I thought it was important to get both democratic and republican bias and then decide my own opinion between the two. Today in the headlines news about floods, farm strikes, and political scandals took their place. Nothing all too new. I scrolled through each of the tabs, skipping sports, for something that would catch my eye. I clicked on the article about a rare pregnancy of a male weedy seahorse. It was the picture that drew me in, the male seahorse was brilliantly colored with a yellowish green body with blue stripes on the chest and black appendages. His clutch of pearly eggs glued onto the inside of his tail. His mouth reminded me of a hummingbird’s beak, long and thin. I wondered if seahorses used them similarly – what did a seahorse eat, anyway? I pressed my home key on the keyboard, it sent me to Google. I typed in ‘Seahorses’ and with my pinky, I clicked enter. I clicked the first result, the Wikipedia. When the page loaded (my laptop was relatively fast), I scanned the table of contents trying to find ‘diet’ or something of the sort. No luck. I randomly picked a link; it sent me to the courtship section. I read all the way through when I learned seahorses had pouches. However, the picture on CNN clearly showed the eggs being cradled on his tail. I was doing well to keep my mind off the pain; however I couldn’t deny my body a chance to straighten up before I went on. I dashed back up to the top of the page. The picture of a yellow seahorse on the right looked nothing like my seahorse. I scanned the first paragraph: “related to leafy sea dragons” caught my eye. I clicked on it. My eyes widened as I saw a picture of a sea dragon. They were beautiful, a disguised alien among the matching seaweed. But they still didn’t look like my seahorse, my brow creased. I scanned further and I smiled as I found the familiar word: “weedy”. I had found it. Ah, yes. My seahorse was actually a sea dragon. I smiled, proud of myself for solving this mystery. Even though I still didn’t know what they ate. I was looking at a similar picture of the sea dragon from the news, when fingers rapped on the edge of my monitor. I startled at the sound on the plastic. “Ella, you’re doing it again.” My eyes flew up from the monitor, I couldn’t see the face, the only light in the room was the laptop facing me, but the voice was all too familiar. It was my own personal tormentor from hell. Literally. “Serik.” I greeted, straightening my back again. A formidable position, maybe he would go away. I exhaled and pushed my shoulders back, the muscles between the shoulder blades stretched. How good it felt to be this straight. “Aw, can’t you call me by my human name?” “No.” I looked back down to the monitor. “C’mon, Ella. How are we going to get to know each other if we’re never friendly?” “I’ve always been polite.” I answer in the shortest sentence possible. The groaned in frustration. “That’s not what I meant. Why are human languages so... vague?” I shrugged, not really caring and hit the back button. I needed to know what seahorses ate. “I meant ‘friendly’ as in friends, not necessarily being nice. Like buddies that pal around and kid each other, ya know?” “No.” “Ella –“ “It’s Christella, thank you.” I hated when he called me Elle. It wasn’t his nickname to call me by. “Can I call you Chris?” “No.” “Why?” I brought my icy-blue death stare up to meet where I thought his rich brown eyes where. I brought them back down with the same swiftness. Serik was sucking my enjoyment from my seahorse research. I wish he’d go away, back to the slime pit he crawled out of. Of course, I’d never tell that straight to his face. It went beyond my morals to be so rude – a lady should be respectful towards everybody. But respect didn’t mean I had to like him. I wanted to keep it that way. Serik rolled onto his haunches and leaned against the foot of my bed. “Watcha doing?” “Learning about seahorses.” “Oh, you know they’re kinda like blue whales. They filter food. But they don’t eat krill, instead it’s like small shrimp and stuff. They’re also used in traditional Chinese medicine. You humans have some weird beliefs about medicine...” I took my hands from off the keyboard, closed my eyes, and bit my tongue. I wanted to find the answer myself. I tried to clear my face of emotion; it was easier to deal with Serik this way. He wouldn’t ask me why anger made me crease my forehead. God, why’d I get assigned the curious demon? “You know, Ella – Christelle, it slipped. Sorry. – you make funny faces when you look things up on the internet.” I sighed. I knew this. I was a dork, a geek, and a nerd. I was curious about my world and I’d Google anything I didn’t understand or was just randomly interested, like the sea dragon. When I came upon something that didn’t make sense, I had a tendency to pucker my lips and move them side to side with my brow furrowed. If I knew I had an audience I wouldn’t of have gotten myself carried away in research. “Can’t help it.” “Why?” “We call them ‘habits’, Serik.” “How do they work?” “I don’t know, the body just settles down into a pattern. Look it up.” “That’s stupid. Your body is keeping you from doing different things. Why would anyone want that?” “I don’t know.” I closed my laptop, unable to concentrate anymore. Serik was getting on my nerves. “Want to hang out?” “Hang out?” “Yeah, like go somewhere.” “It’s three in the morning. What is open at three in the morning?” I said, bitterness forming at the edge of my voice. “Wal-Mart… McDonalds…” He trailed off. I snorted. “If you can find me a 24/7 book store, then sure, I’ll ‘hang’.” I knew he wouldn’t come back for the rest of the night. There were no 24-hour book stores - trust me, I tried. Serik happily jumped up from his spot against the foot board and dashed out of my room. I sighed and reopened my computer. My mind blank, I didn’t know what to do now. My seahorse mystery was solved (or ruined). I clicked the home key again and typed in ‘demons how to get rid of’. It only brought up exorcisms. Figures. But this wasn’t the type of result I needed. Serik was a special type of demon; he wasn’t able to possess people or things, not right now, at least. He was a Ko’ott, a demon assigned to a human companion to learn about human culture. They were given a human name to go by; in this case, Serik picked ‘Chad’. But I’d be damned if I ever called him Chad. It was repulsive how they forced demons onto us, expecting us to teach them. Serik had two hands and eyes, couldn’t he grab a book and start reading? It was disgusting how he blended in with human-kind, how he looked like a person you could see stuck in traffic or pushing a cart down the aisle at a grocery store. It was only until he opened his mouth when you knew he wasn’t one of us – he had trouble understanding figurative language, which was tolerable, but he had no sense of his surroundings, how he ought to behave. He once broke down into a fit of giggles at my grandmother’s funeral. He just didn’t seem to get it. I typed in ‘Ko’ott’. The number of results surprised me and disgusted me at the same time; a whopping 1,020,000,000 results. The news of demons taking over the Earth had swept the world quickly. At first it was all alarm and fear. Now there were websites dedicated to taking in demons, support groups, recommended entertainment with your demon, everything. Of course, it was all propaganda run by the monsters. Human propaganda died out years ago; you didn’t hear about how they tortured us, left the helpless to die, and burned our cities. And of course, everybody who lived during that time ignored them now – except for me. To this day I refuse to accept the new wave of ‘information’, refused to accept Serik. Edited by Linden, Jul 2 2008, 10:20 PM.
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| ** Death's servant | Jun 16 2008, 03:15 PM Post #2 |
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Reflection
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Interesting, I confess I watn to read more. I like the idea. For the next part (if you wright one) my some of suggestions are as follows: I think it needs a little tension between you and Seric, an arguement maybe, but some sort of proof that you don't like him. Maybe a real time example of his lack of respect for his suroundings. I like the writing. Keep it up. |
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| +Linden | Jun 16 2008, 11:29 PM Post #3 |
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awesomesauce
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DS: Serik is supposed to be a very hard character not to like. He's like a bouncy, happy puppy-dog character; yearns for her friendship, wants to please her, an enthusiastic personality... It's only Ella's prejudices that keeps her from liking him -- like taking over the world and whatnot. lol. It could be that the reader is supposed to hate Ella. Who knows? 'Cause I certainly don't. Vampiro: Lol. I've never been told I write warmly. But thank you for that. (Even if I don't fully understand it) But I've noticed I don't really have a writing style... I have a tendency to be heavily influenced by what I read. Since I've been reading a lot of Stephenie Meyer right now, first person just seemed more natural (and that fact Ella is semi-based on me); usually I prefer third person. I'm not sure what you can account for as mine or an influence from Meyer though. :-/ But reading and writing in first person, you really do get a sense of how personal the situation is. You don't quiet achieve that same level in third person. Alright, I'm done musing. I need to think why demons would need to learn about humans -- it really doesn't make sense. :$ |
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| ** Death's servant | Jun 17 2008, 11:29 AM Post #4 |
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Reflection
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what about....Second Person....dun dun dun. lol I want to see the next part. |
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| CrestfallenNights | Jun 18 2008, 03:12 PM Post #5 |
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Coming Or Going?
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This is a very cool story. o.o It's easy to understand Ella and how she works. And you're able to learn more about Serik. He reminds me of a little kid... Sorta sibling-like to Ella. It's a very good story, nice writing ^_^. I can't wait to read more. |
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| +Linden | Jun 18 2008, 08:30 PM Post #6 |
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awesomesauce
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Updated the last paragraph, I though it needed a little more explanation. |
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| +Linden | Jun 18 2008, 11:12 PM Post #7 |
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awesomesauce
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Okay... a random scene... It could take place the next day... or later... I don't know. :mellow: Ella remembers her fire safety techniques from elementary school. :P With a loud kink the metal blinds flew up and I was startled awake to find my room filled instantly with the noonday sunlight. It was blindingly brilliant and I hated every second my eyes were open. As I pulled my head back under the covers and snuggled further into my pillow, I was aware of someone standing at the side of my bed. I peeked through the covers and there was an eyeball looking back at me. I screamed flinging the covers at the intruder. Under the weight of the quilts, he staggered and fell backwards into my dresser. I flew off the foot of my bed, wrenching my softball bat free the overstuffed closet. I held it ready over the intruder when he found the edge of the blanket and pulled it off of him. Oh God, it was just Serik. I exhaled audibly. I didn’t know I had held my breath. “What the hell was that?” I asked, exasperated. “N-nothing…” He stammered, wide-eyed and a little shaken by my panic. “J-just the kitchen is on fire.” “Alright.” Relief rushed through my body and I slumped against the free wall, freeing the bat. I looked back at Serik, slack against my dresser. It was amusing that a demon could be startled by me, a human who was easily crushed. I started to laugh; I didn’t know why I found this hysterical but I couldn’t stop. Soon he joined in, thrilled that I was showing a different personality than my usual stiff character. “Ella, you’re not even upset there’s a house fire?” He half-laughed, his voice happily bewildered. “No, it was an acidi – What?!” My voice went from casual merriment to a high-pitched screech. I inhaled and I suddenly recognized an odor coming from the vents - Oh God, it did smelled like something was burning! I lurched for the door, stopping short of the door knob. I remembered you had to test the door knob for heat so you wouldn’t run straight into an inferno in the next room. Apprehensively, I tapped the door knob for heat. When I didn’t feel anything but the cool metal, I forcefully flung the door open. By the time I heard the knob crashed into the wall, I was already at the kitchen doorway. I shrunk away from the room, expecting to be taken back by overwhelming heat. When I didn’t, I peeked inside. There, on the counter, was my white toaster. On fire. I screamed again, over reacting, as I reached for my fire extinguisher in a cabinet where I kept them in stock. Some call me an overly paranoid; however, when you live with a demon is there such a thing? I pulled the safety pin, aimed the black hose at the flaming toaster and gripped the silver handle as hard as I could. The foam shot out and the fire had no chance, it was snuffed. The white foam that covered the fire-licked toaster reminded me of runny shampoo, as I propped myself up against the counter, wiped out for the morning. “You were making toast?” I asked, surprised. He never tried to make breakfast before. In a weird way, I was touched. “Yea… but it didn’t work out right.” He stood in the doorway, afraid to come any closer. “Got that right. It’s toast now.” I dumped the toaster upside down over the garbage can. Maybe I ought to teach him how to use the toaster? Serik looked at me stupidly. “How is the toast toast when it’s carbonized?” I sighed. “It’s an expression, sorry. ‘Toast’ in this case means ‘ruined’.” I said as I washed my toaster off. I saw him shake his head. “Ah.” Serik said. All I could hear was the running water until he spoke again. “And you’re not mad?” “I feel like I should – you probably killed my toaster and almost torched my house down, after all.” I replied, “But, I think, all the anger split out when you scared me shitless back in the room.” Before I knew it, I was laughing again. I hadn’t been awake for more than ten minutes and my nerves had already been fried. Serik must have set a world record. After a moment, Serik looked at me. A new question perched on his lips. "So, you wanna hang out?" Edited by Linden, Jul 2 2008, 10:03 PM.
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| ** Death's servant | Jun 19 2008, 03:08 PM Post #8 |
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Reflection
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...I like Seric, he's funny. Kind of like a puppy. I like the writing though, even better than the first part. Can't wait to see more. |
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| CrestfallenNights | Jun 20 2008, 01:16 AM Post #9 |
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Coming Or Going?
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Very nice ^_^ Serik is awesomeeeeeeeee. <3. He seriously reminds me of like... a 6 year old or something. He's so cute. |
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| +Linden | Jul 2 2008, 10:06 PM Post #10 |
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awesomesauce
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I changed the last sentence of the second part. I didn't like it -- it wasn't funny. But it's good now, I think. :P I've really been thinking hard about where I'm going with Ella and Serik, but I'm drawing a blank. Hmm. I need some action in this. |
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| +Linden | Jul 2 2008, 11:40 PM Post #11 |
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awesomesauce
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Okay scratch what I said about not coming up with anything. I've got something!! :evil: The night was much like any other night – I was suffering from insomnia but this time I had my brace. I was glad for it, also. Too long had I gone without with and too long had I been in pain; I would never forget it again. Though it did make sitting – well, more like ‘sprawling’ – on the couch difficult, I somehow managed. I flipped through random TV channels for something to watch, with every few hundred channels I sighed. 10,000 channels and not a single thing to watch. I finally settled on an old repeat of a mindless 60’s sitcom, fake laughter erupted from my television when someone burst through my front door. “Yay, Serik’s back.” I muttered miserably. I closed my eyes and I sucked in a deep breath, readying myself for what nonsense Serik had in store for me. What random business would he want to attempt tonight? No doubt he’d want to ‘hang’ somewhere. Again. But then, it wasn’t like I was doing anything important. I had all night – if my insomnia kept up – after all. And lately Serik was becoming more bearable; he was calming down or I had built up a tolerance, I wasn’t sure. Either way, it left me with a twinge of regret at the bottom of my stomach. Somehow I felt it wasn’t fair for me to treat him the way I did, like he deserved a better… friend? I exhaled; somehow the word didn’t fit with Serik. The happy-go-lucky persona and what he was clashed together, each fighting against each other in my mind. I was torn, if Serik was really a ‘Chad’, a human, this would all be fine. It struck me as odd when I didn’t see Serik. The couch was less than a few strides away from the front door; he should have already entered, smothering me with his optimism. I sat up and turned (far as my brace would allow) towards the cutout door. All I saw was the black of the living room and all I saw was black when a dark sack covered my head. |
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| ** Death's servant | Jul 3 2008, 10:59 AM Post #12 |
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Reflection
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O.O, the classic black bag...nice. |
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| CrestfallenNights | Jul 3 2008, 11:29 AM Post #13 |
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Coming Or Going?
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Oooooooooooooo. o.o |
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| +Linden | Jul 5 2008, 12:26 AM Post #14 |
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awesomesauce
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Hot off the press!! This is fun -- though I still don't have any idea (well, not exactly) where I'm going. :P Keep in mind I'm not exactly writing this in chronological order. A lot of time as passed between the first and second 'chapters' and between the second and third. You don't really see a transformation in Ella yet, just these blocky stages. Thanks, enjoy. Everything was happening so fast, I was in shock. Before I could scream I felt the pressure of a gag being tied around my head, being knotted in the back by swift hands. My breathing became labored as I tried to flail, only to find my wrists and ankles were tied too. I couldn’t even wiggle off the couch. Panic ensued; I could feel my blood as it turned thick and hot, scalding my veins under the skin. Oh God, oh God. I’m going to die. It was the only phrase I could think over and over again. I was bound and blind – my death had to be next, I could feel it. An instant later, I felt the couch fly away from my backside as a pair of arms hoisted me over the owner’s shoulder. My diaphragm slammed into the shoulder, shoving the air from my lungs, but not before I heard the dull kink of my metal brace against my kidnapper’s bone. I was rather pleased with that fact as I gagged on escaping air. However, much to my hatred, he showed no sign of pain. A giant arm wrapped around my waist and my kidnapper walked out the door. With every step I bounced against his shoulder, more air releasing involuntarily. Each second lasted longer while he was in mid-stride and each step left me breathless. He took long strides, longer than a normal – than a human. I blamed Serik. For this. For everything. How else could have this happened? Who else but Serik knew of my distrust in his kind? I felt the surface underneath change. No longer was he on my lawn but on the asphalt of the road. Without missing a beat, I heard him pop open a car trunk and shove me into it. I winced at the pain shooting up my back as I smacked against the trunk floor. The pain brought me back to my senses, allowing me to smother my fear with hate. Serik - the traitor! Demons! I wanted to spit. The car rocked as the trunk closed and a few seconds later the ignition roared to life, pulling away from the curb. I rolled backwards, my back aching further. With my limited reach, I tried to feel around but I found nothing. Whoever this demon was saw enough movies to know not to put anything in the trunk. I had nothing to do but to wait. ~*~*~*~*~ He kept a constant speed; never allowing a stop, much less a yield. And to my relief, he never took a bumpy road. It had been smooth since the time I was shoved into the car. I lost track of time easily in the trunk but it was time enough to catch my breath and reason with myself. Obviously, Ella, if he wanted to kill you, why shove your living body into a trunk? That sounded good, I kept telling myself that. It never left my thoughts even as I started to think of another topic, one that’d probably cut me apart. Serik. The betrayal felt like a dagger being lodged into your back and staring down at the red tip poking through your chest. It burned and I squirmed, trying to be free of the inescapable fire. Why? Was the only question I could ask. Was this karma, a punishment for my total transgressions against him? I hadn’t believed in karma, or anything for that matter. Anything based on faith died in me the day the demons raided the Earth – too many people slaughtered, lives broken. I couldn’t go on believing in a God who did nothing. Now, most likely, I was about to become one of the slaughtered. It was ironic that my transgressions finally caught up to me at the point when I was having regrets. I hadn’t gotten a chance to prove myself a good person yet, to be his friend. But I was too late; he had already called his superiors, told them I was a rebel. And now I was paying for it. Remorse filled my mind, my anger was misplaced. It came down in huge globs of tears, soaking the sack. I cried until I was spent and my mind floated somewhere between reality and unconsciousness. The car stopped and the driver got out. However this time, I heard more than one set of footsteps. When the trunk opened I was swung over his shoulder again, he put a tight arm around my waist, waiting for me to struggle. When I didn’t protest, he loosened a little and walked with the same long strides. The group with him kept pace, their footsteps kept the same volume and only stopped when he did. ~*~*~*~*~ I was set against a hard wooden chair, my head knocked against the wall behind it; my gag was removed along with the sack. But I didn’t see anything – the room must be dark too. A bright spotlight turned on towards my face. It sent a jagged pain through my eyes and I shut them tight and turned my head away. “Christella Linwood?” A professional voice asked. I didn’t say anything. “Miss Linwood?” “Are you sure you got the right girl?” A poisonous voice asked, distinctly feminine. “Yes, she was the only one in the house…” A third voice entered. My kidnapper? It was gruff and thick, it seemed fitting with the long stride and giant arms. “Then why isn’t she answering?” Her voice was angry and forceful. I didn’t understand it. “She’s confused, dear.” The first voice answered again. “Bloody hell – these humans!” The woman cried. It brought tears back to my eyes. The yelling, the light, my pain… it was unbearable. “Lieke, remove yourself from the chamber.” The professional voice went sour, it was rough and unmerciful. I could only imagine the hateful stares. The woman stormed out the room, I heard her heels clip away. It seemed to calm my sobs slightly. “Christella?” The first voice returned to its professionalism. “I-I…” Was all I managed to get out between gasps of air. “It’s okay. We’re here to help.” It was the gruff voice. And I choked on bitter laughter. The professional voice seemed to understand because he cut the other man off. “We had to take you away from your demon.” “S-Serik?” I calmed as I spoke his name. “Yes.” “He’ll find me!!” I gasped. I could apologize! Hope flooded my mind but hysterics flooded my voice. “Not with our security.” The gruff man reassured me and I knew they both misunderstood me. I tried to understand the motion of events. Security? Demons didn’t need security from other demons. It sounded absurd. But it seemed I was missing a gigantic piece of the puzzle. I saw the light change from under my eyelids, it became dimmer. I peeked through one eye; they also had the light flood the entire room too. I saw the two men ahead of me, the larger one with his hand on the spotlight while the second one sat in a chair in front of me. The walls were stone and a large industrial door sat locked behind them. “Christella, I am called Engel,” The man in the chair said, the professional voice. He stood up, “And this man is called Anox” ((A/N: pronounced AN-shaw)) He motioned to the large man next to the light. Engel walked over to untie my bonds. I stood up slowly out of fatigue more than caution; I was spent both physically and mentally, I’d let panic sweep me away tomorrow. “I’ll show you where you’ll stay.” He said, wasting no time as I could pass out at any moment. The man named Engel was tall and slender; no trace of muscle could be seen under his balanced skin. His long jet black hair was such a stark contrast, it hurt to look at him. Even what Engel wore was of contrast: a clean, white button-up shirt and black slacks. But he had the kindest dark blue eyes I’d ever seen – it made trusting him easy. On unsteady feet I followed him out the stone room’s door and into a hallway. Anox was right behind me. I had trouble keeping pace but Anox was always there for me to bump into. He’d drag me back to my feet and we’d continue walking. I was positive this man was my kidnapper. His arms where the same hard rock I felt when he hoisted me on his shoulder. He wore a florescent orange shirt with the sleeves torn off over his muscular chest and regular blue jeans with sneakers. His ruddy hair was cut short and his grey eyes showed no form of emotion – he never showed any form of irritation when I lagged behind. The hallways were all the same, white paint and steel gray carpeting. Absently I drifted into unconscious while walking. It was only until Engel stopped and Anox grabbed me in his arms – startling me awake in the process – stopping me from crashing into Engel. “We’re here,” Engel said with a polite smile. He opened the door and I wondered in, my eyes locked on the first thing I saw: a bed. “I trust you’ll find everything alright. I know you’re tired, so we’ll give you some privacy.” I nodded as I hit the bed. |
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| CrestfallenNights | Jul 17 2008, 08:04 PM Post #15 |
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Coming Or Going?
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*needs more before she 'splodes. like, srsly :o* |
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