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She Who Left the Oyster Bed
Topic Started: Aug 18 2008, 01:40 AM (215 Views)
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awesomesauce
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A/N: References from both the book and the Disney movie with a few of my own sprinkled in there. See if you can catch 'em. ;)

The giant orange thing in the sky simmered below the world’s cocoa-colored Spine when a squad of parked cars formed around Insania Ledge, the largest cliff of the Spine’s range. From the impromptu circle of vehicles, blue and red lights illuminated a congregation that had formed along with a ribbon reading ‘keep out’ which blocked off the hiking trail to the very dark bottom.

One new car soon joined the crowd and the pack turned their attention towards the arrival. As the vehicle pulled up they could see the car was unremarkable in appearance, only a basic squad car with the roof lights removed. But they all knew it wasn’t the car they waited for but the remarkable mind inside of it - a mind that could make sense out of the nonsense.

A strong gust of wind blew down from one of the Spine’s peaks as the driver’s door opened. The squad car lights changed the color of his green, reptilian skin - yellow then cyan then yellow again - as he held his hat to his head. His small black eyes searched for the highest rank among the working crowd by the symbols on their shirts, a certain number of shovels. Soon he found him and yelled his name:

“Jack!” The Lizard waved him down.

“Oh, Bill, you finally made it.” The gust of wind looked like it was about to blow Jack away.

“Traffic was backed up all the way to Tulgey Wood.” Bill sighed as he grabbed onto Jack’s arm to steady him. “I could hardly get out of the WCSI parking lot. To make things worse, the roads kept disappearing, mate. While the Birds have all gone loonie, deciding to test their wings at driving instead of flight!”

“Oh, don’t I know it!” Jack exclaimed, “Just the other day a group of Birds decided to run in circles in my wife’s rose garden. They dug all the earth up and now the flowerbeds are too soft and the Roses are in a coma.”

“They’re a nuisance.” Bill concluded as he dug in his trunk for a silver tool box.

“It’s a sad truth, my friend. But I have good news!” Jack perked up.

“What?”

“This case is bird-brain free.”

“That’s a relief. I’ve been up to my neck in Wild Goose chases all week. – Tell me about the case.” Jack held the yellow ribbon up for Bill to pass under.

“We weren’t able to I.D. the body, human though – ”

“Human? A kind of endangered species, aren’t they?” Bill interrupted.

“Exactly why we can’t identify it – their numbers have dwindled so we can’t catalog them.”

Bill and Jack worked their way down the hiker trail being careful of loose rocks. The orange lantern from behind the mountains had been extinguished, leaving behind smoky wisps of blues and pinks by which they saw by before Jack turned on a spot light.

“Your men all here?” Bill asked off handedly.

“Only half are here today. The other five went with Regina and Rex.” Jack replied, “I sent them to clean up the Croquet Massacre.”

“Bandersnatch!” Cursed Bill, “These murders seem more frequent than ever. For the love of Wonderland, sometimes I wonder why I gave up chimney sweeping.”

Jack only rolled his eyes; Bill always said the same thing every time out on the field and never did he once touch a chimney broom. The fact of the matter was there was only one chimney in all of Wonderland, owned by the ever late White Rabbit (who never paid well to begin with) and that the Lizard was brilliant as a Wonderland Crime Scene Investigator. Jack, who had been doing this kind of dirty work for years, had never seen an investigator quite like Bill before. Though probably, Jack thought, because all the years before an Animal had never been a part of WCSI - they were all cards, spades to be exact. An Animal brought a new light to the crime that highlighted details a Card would have thought irreverent.

“Ah, is this our victim?” Bill asked as the outline of a body became visible in the spotlight.

“Yeah. Check it out for yourself.”

Bill set down a silver box he had been carrying and opened it while Jack provided him with some light. The Lizard slapped gloves on and took the light from Jack to make his own examination.

“You didn’t tell me it was a she, Jack.” Bill said quietly, carefully rolling the broken body over onto her back.

“I could hardly recognize it as a human, nonetheless a girl.” He replied, “You know, the Monarchy rules Humans to be ‘frivolous’ and therefore nonessential to our training.”

He sighed at the edict of the Queen; she was one character that never made much sense to Bill. He continued to examine the girl’s body. She was roughly seventeen years of Human age; the girl’s limbs twisted and bent at wrong angles; her long brunette hair was matted with blood where a rough, nasty gash not exactly perpendicular to the curve of her neck was exhibited; she died with her almond, hazel eyes open with shock.

“It’s a good 200ft plummet from Insania Ledge. Do you think she jumped?” Jack asked.

“Doubtful, not after she took a blow to the neck like that anyway. She was moved here.” Bill said, “Besides, I know her. Her name is Mary Ann.”

Ending A/N: How'd you like it? I didn't want to give any of the references away in my author's note up top so I chose to split the A/N like this.

The title is subject to change but right now I think it's fitting, if you can guess why. *evil laugh*

This started out as an idea I only briefly expressed interest in the cbox a few days ago; yesterday I thought really hard about it and I decided how it all went down -- so I'm really excited now because I get to mix one of my favorite stories with one of my favorite TV shows. ^_^

While I know how it happens, I'm not exactly sure how to write it because it's all backwards.
That's how Wonderland works, after all:
"Sentence first, verdict later" then we'll have the investigation, shall we? ;)

Hate, Rate, Discuss, Critique, Feedback, Anything welcome.
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hmm...I can see lots of influences in it from books I have (at least I think). good so far, but if you go overboard on this it could get pretty ridiculous. With a little work (on the continuation) it will be a very good story if you ask me.
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awesomesauce
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Ridiculous as in funny? Or the bad kind of ridiculous?
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depends how you play it. I'm just sayin, like most stories, it has good petential and not so good potential, it's important to channel the right ideas to make it better rather than worse. I think it'll be great.
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