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LINE-BY-LINE Discussion Thread; The Workshop
Topic Started: Sep 23 2008, 04:24 PM (4,935 Views)
Lola
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Which was your last one? They all seem great to me. Yes, I agree that's the fun part everyone helps with it. Writing a complete story seems a very big challenge!
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OJFan
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Oh, it was that one with the "mysterious letter." I had watched "And then there were none" - the Agatha Christie movie and thought it would be a fun idea. It kinda got stuck midway through....

At least MINE was pretty recent! :)
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messyhead
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True enough! I concede! Thank goodness Lola is on the task.
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OJFan
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We don't want you to concede, just to write more stories :)

I can't wait to see what you've cooked up Lola.... c8654 c8654
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melchycat
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So you only have to come up with an idea and then everyone takes over right? And it can be mission free? Yay! I love doing O/J lbl's.
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OJFan
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I like the one Lola just started.... Then again, why wouldn't I??? c8654 c8654 And it has no whiff of a mission...
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melchycat
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Where is it?
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Rudywells1274
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it's under line by line Oscar and Jaime. I think its call home sweet home.
Posted Image
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melchycat
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Thanks! I found it.
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Lola
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How not to write? I found these amusing examples of opening lines.


**'Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.'

**"The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sticky fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!'"

**'With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competiton, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description.'

**'Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death--in short a moron with suicidal tendencies.'
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OJFan
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Sadly, I think you could add some of my lines to that list. I tend to have some long, unwieldy sentences. I liked the one about Santa Claus. What a terrible image! d4w y5u
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Lola
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Not at all! Yours are very good. The last two in the list weren't bad until the last few words where they ruin everything before. Yes, isn't the Santa one a terrible image!
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OJFan
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True... they do tend to negate the earlier text. They are attention grabbers, just not necessarily the best. I HATE starting out stories - it's so hard to decide where to start - or how to start. I think I make mine too long as I keep backing up... Then again, I beg everyone else to make theirs longer... I'd love to read and Oscar/Jaime novel!
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melchycat
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My hardest part is not starting but ending. I can never decide how to end or when and I'm like should I have stopped this story about 50 pages back?

Okay, the description of the dead Santa Clause was just gross. : d4w y5u

I hope I don't write like that. Or I might join him!
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OJFan
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I don't think you write like that...I've liked the two stories you've posted here. I wish I had a broader vocabulary. I tend to use many of the same descriptive words over and over in my stories, but some things seem to defy variation.
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