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| WAKING UP - 1 - 10 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 22 2009, 12:08 PM (3,132 Views) | |
| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 12:08 PM Post #1 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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Waking Up Chapter One The last thing Jaime remembered was the whole world blowing up around her. She’d called out to Chris but something huge and very heavy (that she hadn’t seen coming) hit her in the head before she found out if he was in the building and if he was safe….or even still alive. She struggled now to open her eyes - to find out where she was and exactly what had happened - but the pain was unbearable. A bomb… she thought to herself as her eyes closed again. They bombed the Embassy… Oscar had sent Jaime and Chris to Budapest to thwart the assassination of the American Ambassador and several key government officials who’d gathered there for a conference. Unfortunately, the Intel they had to work with was sketchy….and they were too late. As she drifted back toward the beckoning cushion of unconsciousness, Jaime wondered if Oscar knew where she was - and what had happened. - - - “Jaime? Honey, can you hear me?” Someone was gently touching her shoulder. It was a voice she knew well, but it was so much easier (and less painful) not to try and respond. “I need you to try and open your eyes for me,” the voice persisted. “Rudy….” Jaime moaned softly, her eyes still closed. “My head…hurts.” “I don’t doubt it,” he said gently. “But I need you to open your eyes, just for a minute.” Jaime winced as the light bored into her brain. It was almost too much. Rudy assessed her quickly - severe concussion but no outward signs of skull fracture, thank God. He’d already done a rudimentary splint job on her left arm, which was broken in several places and now he did his best to make his patient comfortable for the long journey that lay ahead of them. “Where…are we?” Jaime asked weakly, shutting her eyes once again. “We’re on a plane, headed back to Washington. Oscar didn’t feel it was safe for you to be treated in Budapest.” He’d had to struggle to stabilize her quickly and get her onto the waiting plane and although she would be asleep for most of the flight he needed to assess her more thoroughly first. Relieved that she would be able to withstand the longer flight, he’d let the pilot know the emergency stopover would not be necessary, after all. Jaime’s injuries were serious, but she’d be more comfortable on her home turf…and definitely safer, once they were back on American soil. “Where’s Chris?” Jaime whispered. Rudy had known this question was coming. He only wished he had a better answer for her. “They haven’t found him yet, Honey,” he said quietly. “But I spoke to Oscar a little while ago and he plans to call Steve in on this. They’ll find him.” The doctor patted Jaime’s hand in a gesture of comfort. “Try not to worry.” His words were useless - and he knew it. Jaime and Chris had been together for almost nine years. At times, things had been rocky - on-again, off-again - but the last few years had seen them grow very close. Although they’d never married, their bond was strong and undeniable. Rudy knew his patient was deeply in love…and he wondered about her chances of recovery should the news from Budapest turn bad (or if there was no news at all). - - - Oscar paced nervously outside the big double doors to the operating room and nearly jumped out of his own skin when Rudy finally emerged. “How is she?” he asked anxiously. “She’s holding on, but her injuries are more serious than I thought. I fixed her bionics, patched the broken ribs and re-set her left arm. She took a severe blow to the head, so I’ll be watching her closely for signs of inter-cranial bleeding.” Rudy hoped that Oscar could provide a much-needed patch for his patient’s heart. “What’s the word from Budapest? Was Steve able to find Chris?” Oscar stared at the floor, hating his own words before he’d even uttered them. “Steve didn’t go.” “What? Why the hell not? “Said he’s retired and to send someone else to look for Williams. He flat-out refused. I sent a team in - one of my best - and they were able to locate a witness who saw Chris being led away at gunpoint, just before the explosion.” “You mean -?” Oscar nodded, his expression grim. “He’s been captured. We don’t know where he is.” - - - - - |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 06:48 PM Post #2 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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Here 'tis. Can this story be saved....? |
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| Lola | Jun 22 2009, 06:57 PM Post #3 |
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Security Level 12
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It's very good. It's got me really interested. I can see the problem of where to go once Jaime finds out about Chris. I'm sure you could do something with it though. |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 07:05 PM Post #4 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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What I am finding myself wanting to do might not stick completely to canon...but Oscar and Steve both need a little bit of redemption after what happened to Chris. |
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| OJFan | Jun 22 2009, 08:24 PM Post #5 |
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I like it - I think you could do a lot with it. Why feel the need to deviate from canon - Oscar was only doing his job - sending them on a mission - what is there to redeem? And as far as Steve goes, why does he need to even BE in the story? Jaime can deal with her feelings from afar. He didn't know what all had gone down - maybe you could show how he felt after this happened - again, without being with Jaime. It doesn't HAVE to end with them together and happy - or with him having redeemed himself in Jaime's eyes. It could be just a tough, gritty story WITHOUT a happy ending. |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 08:28 PM Post #6 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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Oscar would feel guilty about not forcing Steve to go. I'm not envisioning Steve and Jaime together at the end of this story, but would love the challenge of writing a confrontational scene between them and maybe....forgiveness. Oscar and Rudy kept news of Jaime's health from Steve once before. I can't justify their not at least notifying him that she's been badly hurt. |
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| OJFan | Jun 22 2009, 08:32 PM Post #7 |
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I don't think Oscar can FORCE Steve to do anything - so he has nothing to regret. I think the forgiveness would be too quick and easy - try making it tougher You can do it! Maybe they DO tell him she'd badly hurt - but he still doesn't come - he can't face her. THAT would add some grit as well. Maybe he convinces himself it's for the best that way. |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 08:33 PM Post #8 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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Interesting.... Or...he does come - and she refuses to see him. And forgiveness would most definitely NOT come easily.
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| OJFan | Jun 22 2009, 08:37 PM Post #9 |
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I think he doesn't come - it's less redeeming that way - and more like canon, if that's what you're going for. |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 08:41 PM Post #10 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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One thing about the canon that bothers me (well a lot bothers me, but in this case) is that Jaime is strong-willed enough that she wouldn't let all that time pass without confronting Steve about why he refused to go to Budapest. I have trouble with the thought that she just sort of let that go (or bottled it up) until running into him again, months later. Wouldn't she want to know why? |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 08:57 PM Post #11 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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I really appreciate all of the input and am now working on chapter two. Will re-post in fanfic section with second chapter when it is ready. |
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| OJFan | Jun 22 2009, 09:06 PM Post #12 |
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But I think that's because you assumed she loved him all that time. I think she had moved on with Chris - until she got her memories back. It's very believable that it was easier for her to just push Steve from her mind - it was too hard to deal with the anger she felt, conflicting with the memories that had returned. No, I definitely buy she didn't confront him - or he her. |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 09:09 PM Post #13 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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No, she didn't love Steve that whole time - not in canon, anyway. If she'd been with and loved Chris for nearly a decade, I'd think Jaime would want to confront the man she feels could have saved him and simply....didn't. But that's a few chapters away, if it happens. Still have time to reflect on that. |
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| bionic4ever | Jun 22 2009, 09:13 PM Post #14 |
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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Ooh - I've got it!!! A genuine lightbulb moment. And I am off to the races! |
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| johnfsg | Jun 22 2009, 09:32 PM Post #15 |
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Security Level Six
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GREAT!!!! I thought I dreamed reading that. Good so far, got me waiting for more. |
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You can do it! Maybe they DO tell him she'd badly hurt - but he still doesn't come - he can't face her. THAT would add some grit as well. Maybe he convinces himself it's for the best that way.
8:36 AM Jul 11