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Words from the Pros
Topic Started: Jun 30 2009, 11:42 AM (789 Views)
OJFan
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That's an odd question to have asked her. Maybe it helps to have HAD sex to write a romance novel, but even if she hadn't - she could probably get the gist of it. Do you have to have been in love to write a love story?

BTW - you aren't missing much by not reading one - I've managed to go over two decades myself :)
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messyhead
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I don't think you could write a convincing sex scene if you hadn't had sex, do you?!
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OJFan
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I don't know - having two boys, I've obviously HAD sex, so it's difficult for me to say. In the romance novels, I think you could, as they just describe the action - it doesn't seem overly emotional - more like a narrative of where body parts are. YOu could get that from watching a movie. But to write something more tender - about how you feel with your partner, what's going through your head, their physical responses to your touch - THAT would be a lot harder - unless you're just copying from someone else's writing.

But why is it harder to write about sex if you haven't had it than to write about other emotions or situations if you haven't dealt with them? That's a question - not a statement - any ideas?
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messyhead
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I don't think it's harder - I think it's very difficult to write convincingly about emotions you haven't experienced. You can dream up different physical worlds, like Tolkein did, because the reader's lack of experience in that world will mean she's a stranger in that world too...but if you write about a feeling that you haven't had and the reader has - they'll know you're faking it.

Sex is a very specific experience. Hard to fake.
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OJFan
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True - I agree with you that to write a touching, emotional sex piece it would be hard to fake - again, unless you plagiarized. However, does the same apply if you write say, a piece where you are startlingly angry or depressed - something like that - if you never have been before? The murder example is different - that's an act, not an emotion. But depression, anger, remorse - these are strong emotions too - are they harder to fake?
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messyhead
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I think you can usually tell genuine from fake in those kinds of things. I don't think I'd ever venture to write about clinical depression (from the depressed person's point of view) because I've never been through it - though I do think that you can do research and get educated. Not that I think you should ONLY write what you know - it's too limiting and you can never underestimate the power of a really great imagination.
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OJFan
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I've never experienced them either - not REAL depression, anger or remorse - so I'm not sure I'd recognize them as fake if I saw them. I'm sure someone who HAS suffered from clinical depression would recognize me as a fraud immediately if I wrote a story like that. Sure, research would help, but I doubt it would take the place of being there. Good thing we can fake a lot, because I don't think I'd WANT to be Jaime in some of these stories :)

I find it more challenging to come up with ways to write harder pieces because I don't have that experience to draw from. I like trying, but I think I fall flat often.
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bionic4ever
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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It's better to draw from personal experience in writing. Unless you can do like Tolkein did and create an entirely new world. That's why, after a very scary brush with severe dehydration, I wrote a desert mission-gone wrong for Jaime. Then there was the homeless story. Bubba and I were lucky enough to get a brand-new start, but I can still write the hell out of angst!
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