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A Story Told in First-Person
Topic Started: Nov 1 2009, 07:57 AM (1,690 Views)
messyhead
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Actually I'll rise to the defense of vanilla too - though I do like other kinds. Still, a homemade French vanilla cannot be beat! (Hold the jalapeno jelly.)
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OJFan
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bionic4ever
Nov 12 2009, 06:29 PM
Are you actually gonna let me get away with that? :D

I'd still take the peanut butter with jelly - besides....maybe Jaime likes her...jelly spicy :)
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bionic4ever
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Like Messyhead has said in her story comments, it is very hard to switch from one mode (mostly narrative) to a full conversation. Makes the conversation look out of place and sound abrupt. But...what if you really want that full conversation in there?
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messyhead
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Well that's what I always come up against. When I really want that full conversation I do it.
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bionic4ever
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It does seem sort of out of place. But it's a very necessary conversation. Shows how much she trusts Oscar's opinion and leans on him in times of stress.
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messyhead
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Sure. I just think you should either make it clear that the whole thing is solved about two minutes after he blows in (I liked the description of him blowing in) or suggest the passage of time somehow. Still- it's not horrifically, glaringly rushed...just a bit.
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bionic4ever
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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I did add a bit at the end about him working through every one of her objections. Will think on this a bit more. Thanks for the input. :)
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bionic4ever
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I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
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Think I've got it now. Added toward the end of the chapter:


Just as he did every day in Washington, Oscar had cut through the details, right to the heart of the matter - and in record time, too. I knew he would; that was why I'd called him.
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messyhead
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Well there you go!
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bionic4ever
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Yay!!! :)
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messyhead
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When you're writing in 3rd person, do you think you're allowed to go roaming around into all the character's heads (the omnipotent narrator) all the time or do you think it's better to stick with a single point of view? Or do you take it on a scene-by-scene basis - one scene you're in Jaime's head, in another you're in Callahan's...?

I've been roaming freely into peoples' heads, but some part of me feels it's cheating.
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OJFan
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I've never thought of it before as cheating - I don't think it is. I like hearing different perspectives - and I switch frequently. I don't think I'd like hearing only from one perspective - though too MUCh switching back and forth leaves me confused - and no, you've never done that. That's one reason I find first person so hard to write - you don't know what the other person is thinking and to force it out through dialog is tricky.
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Elzorro
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I second that, it must be very difficult to put oneself in one person's mind.

"So you see, my friends, it is just a matter of opinion, it is between you and me, whether I am real or not, is for you to decide, each of you in your own mind and heart. (Guy Williams aka El Zorro)
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messyhead
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But we LIVE in one person's mind!
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Lola
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messyhead
Nov 27 2009, 04:09 PM
But we LIVE in one person's mind!

I was reading a guide to writing and it said that a short story should be from one character's perspective only. I'd find that hard though because how would you know what the other characters were thinking unless it was all revealed through dialogue? That isn't 'true to life' because how many people say everything they are thinking?
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