| THE BIONIC PROJECT | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Welcome to The Bionic Project. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| A Story Told in First-Person | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 1 2009, 07:57 AM (1,690 Views) | |
| messyhead | Nov 13 2009, 08:10 PM Post #46 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Actually I'll rise to the defense of vanilla too - though I do like other kinds. Still, a homemade French vanilla cannot be beat! (Hold the jalapeno jelly.) |
![]() |
|
| OJFan | Nov 13 2009, 10:52 PM Post #47 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I'd still take the peanut butter with jelly - besides....maybe Jaime likes her...jelly spicy
|
![]() |
|
| bionic4ever | Nov 15 2009, 08:28 AM Post #48 |
|
I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Like Messyhead has said in her story comments, it is very hard to switch from one mode (mostly narrative) to a full conversation. Makes the conversation look out of place and sound abrupt. But...what if you really want that full conversation in there? |
* * * * *![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() * * * * * | |
![]() |
|
| messyhead | Nov 15 2009, 08:57 AM Post #49 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Well that's what I always come up against. When I really want that full conversation I do it. |
![]() |
|
| bionic4ever | Nov 15 2009, 08:59 AM Post #50 |
|
I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
It does seem sort of out of place. But it's a very necessary conversation. Shows how much she trusts Oscar's opinion and leans on him in times of stress. |
* * * * *![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() * * * * * | |
![]() |
|
| messyhead | Nov 15 2009, 09:58 AM Post #51 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Sure. I just think you should either make it clear that the whole thing is solved about two minutes after he blows in (I liked the description of him blowing in) or suggest the passage of time somehow. Still- it's not horrifically, glaringly rushed...just a bit. |
![]() |
|
| bionic4ever | Nov 15 2009, 11:15 AM Post #52 |
|
I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I did add a bit at the end about him working through every one of her objections. Will think on this a bit more. Thanks for the input.
|
* * * * *![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() * * * * * | |
![]() |
|
| bionic4ever | Nov 15 2009, 11:25 AM Post #53 |
|
I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Think I've got it now. Added toward the end of the chapter: Just as he did every day in Washington, Oscar had cut through the details, right to the heart of the matter - and in record time, too. I knew he would; that was why I'd called him. |
* * * * *![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() * * * * * | |
![]() |
|
| messyhead | Nov 15 2009, 11:57 AM Post #54 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Well there you go! |
![]() |
|
| bionic4ever | Nov 15 2009, 12:02 PM Post #55 |
|
I TALK TOO MUCH! LOL!
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Yay!!!
|
* * * * *![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() * * * * * | |
![]() |
|
| messyhead | Nov 27 2009, 09:52 AM Post #56 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
When you're writing in 3rd person, do you think you're allowed to go roaming around into all the character's heads (the omnipotent narrator) all the time or do you think it's better to stick with a single point of view? Or do you take it on a scene-by-scene basis - one scene you're in Jaime's head, in another you're in Callahan's...? I've been roaming freely into peoples' heads, but some part of me feels it's cheating. |
![]() |
|
| OJFan | Nov 27 2009, 09:57 AM Post #57 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I've never thought of it before as cheating - I don't think it is. I like hearing different perspectives - and I switch frequently. I don't think I'd like hearing only from one perspective - though too MUCh switching back and forth leaves me confused - and no, you've never done that. That's one reason I find first person so hard to write - you don't know what the other person is thinking and to force it out through dialog is tricky. |
![]() |
|
| Elzorro | Nov 27 2009, 03:40 PM Post #58 |
|
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I second that, it must be very difficult to put oneself in one person's mind. |
|
"So you see, my friends, it is just a matter of opinion, it is between you and me, whether I am real or not, is for you to decide, each of you in your own mind and heart. (Guy Williams aka El Zorro) | |
![]() |
|
| messyhead | Nov 27 2009, 04:09 PM Post #59 |
![]()
International Goodwill Ambassador
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
But we LIVE in one person's mind! |
![]() |
|
| Lola | Nov 27 2009, 05:23 PM Post #60 |
|
Security Level 12
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I was reading a guide to writing and it said that a short story should be from one character's perspective only. I'd find that hard though because how would you know what the other characters were thinking unless it was all revealed through dialogue? That isn't 'true to life' because how many people say everything they are thinking? |
![]() |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · The Writers' Room · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
8:36 AM Jul 11
|
This theme is best viewed in firefox.
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy






![]](http://z5.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)








8:36 AM Jul 11