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Topic Started: Mar 17 2013, 06:43 PM (69 Views)
AbelTyler
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On this RP, I figured I would give more an insight on the character, since this is the first show and all. But let me know what you guys think. All criticism is welcomed also :P

http://w11.zetaboards.com/TitanWrestling/topic/8583032/1/#new
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Landon Windsor
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The Chi-Town Saint
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Well, I dunno how I can put this. But...

Great detail

Good Character Development

Awesome Trash Talk..

Final Verdict - You suck :D J/K very nice, look forward to facing you some time...

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AbelTyler
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Well Thanks, I guess lol.

He is a new character, so im just getting use to him myself. But thanks for the feedback Windsor.
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AbelTyler
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Well this is my second RP with Abel ever. So I wanted to know what people think. Feed me some guys.

http://w11.zetaboards.com/TitanWrestling/topic/8618260/1/#new
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Alexia Brandt
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I like that you recognized a single focal point for your character development and hammered it home; too many CD pieces get caught up in trying to tell people everything at once and lose any direction.

Your formatting's really solid, I like having two easily separated sections for CD and actual Promo, and using images helps a skimmer see where they need to go right away.

The best thing about your promos period is that you understand your character. You know how Abel works, both as a competitor and as a person. You might not have the nuances down yet, but you've given yourself enough of a guideline to what makes Abel tick that as time goes on and you find those nuances he's only going to get more interesting.

I do have two pieces of criticism; one, there were some glaring (if common) grammar errors (your for you're, etc.) Grammar check is hard so don't worry too much about it, just keep it in mind as it can break a reader out of the moment sometimes.

Second, your promo felt very "Big Block of Text"-y, which can make a promo drag sometimes. As you like to intersperse your pieces with actions, I'd suggest in the future you add some more. Feel the emotional journey that you're putting the reader through and let Abel's actions and demeanor guide us. A multi-paragraph promo is probably going to go through a couple peaks and valleys, let us see that through Abel.

From what I've seen, you're working to give a press conference feel, so check out this promo from Karl Anderson and Giant Bernard in NJPW and see how they shift their emotional core throughout the interview:

http://youtu.be/MDizIWws3IA?t=4m29s

I hope that helps, good luck against Lawler!
Edited by Alexia Brandt, Mar 25 2013, 08:43 PM.
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AbelTyler
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Thanks Alexia!
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