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New Party to stand against Nigel Farage; the FUKP party
Topic Started: Jan 14 2015, 10:35 PM (99 Views)
Steve K
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Once and future cynic
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Bad news for Nigel? Al Murray/Pub Landlord to stand against Nigel Farage

He has a Manifesto

Quote:
 


The Guv's common sense message to the UK


I, Al Murray - The Pub Landlord, intend to stand in the general election for the hotly contested Kent constituency of South Thanet as part of the Free United Kingdom Party. My 13-point common sense action plan to save this country includes:

• The pound in your pocket
The pound will be revalued at one pound 10p, so it will now be worth 10p more. Common sense.

• The NHS
If you come to A&E and it’s neither an accident nor an emergency then you will be sent to a random hospital department to be practised on. Common sense.

• Foreign Policy
Germany has been too quiet for too long. Just saying.

• Immigration
Of course the reason they are coming here is because this is the greatest country in the world. The only way to stop them is for a government to change that and make things a whole lot worse. Look no further. However, in the meantime, we brick up the Channel Tunnel. With British bricks. Probably have to get some Poles in to do it. Common sense.

• Education
I believe the children are the future and there’s no way you'll get me knocking teachers. Teachers are on the front line, coalface. Doing their bit to create a level playing field for our kids, although I'm not sure they're going about it the right way by making sure none of the kids can read and write. So instead of a postcode lottery a new improved Street Raffle will determine which schools your kids get in to. Common sense.

• Scotland
Alex Salmond to be made First Minister for Norwich, so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like. Common sense.

• Europe
I pledge that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the Solar System by 2050. Common market sense. In the meantime Greece to be bought and operated by Kent County Council. Couldn’t be worse. Someone to do the bins at least.

• The environment
Boris Johnson to be put on an island. He keeps saying that’s what he wants.

• Corporations and Globalisation
Blah blah blah blah blah paradigm blah blah blah, blah blah dialectic blah blah blah blah blah blah game-changer.

• Homes for hard working families
Build some houses but without bringing down house prices. How hard can it be?

• Defence
National Service, but only for people who don’t want to do it.

• Law and Order
Unemployment causes crime: I propose to lock up the unemployed. Common sense.

• On Local issues
South Thanet to be made the new capital of the UK. Demilitarised zone to set-up between North and South Thanet.


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jaguar
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Anyone who was going to vote UKIP isn't suddenly going to change their mind and vote Al Murray instead, UKIP voters are the ones least likely to change their minds.
What was Al Murray thinking, Thanet South is too close to call and now he's made Farage favourite to WIN if you check all the bookies.

No wonder Farage is hoping Murray will stand, he must feel like opening the champagne now.

Saying that I do like Al Murray's manifesto.
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Alberich
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Alberich
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A sort of one man raving monster looney party. Good for a laugh, if nothing else.
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AndyK
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Some pretty common sense policies there.

Farage has got a battle on his hands.

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RJD
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Sounds much like the now defunct Cloud Cuckoo-land Party with it's regulated single member with a single policy of using the Royal Navy to loot stuff from any carrier who dared to sail near these islands.

Bricking up the Chunnel will produce a lot of laughs.

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papasmurf
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RJD
Jan 15 2015, 04:08 PM


Bricking up the Chunnel will produce a lot of laughs.

It would get a lot of support.
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jaguar
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Which party does Al Murray actually support as it appears Murray was born in Buckinghamshire, only son of Lieutenant Colonel Ingram Bernard Hay Murray (a great-great-great-great-grandson of John Murray, 3rd Duke of Atholl, who married Charlotte, Baroness Strange), and Juliet Anne Thackeray, née Ritchie (a great-great-granddaughter of William Makepeace Thackeray. His grandfather, the diplomat Sir Ralph Murray, was of Scottish nobility and married into the von Kuenburg family, aristocrats from Austria.

Is he a man of the people, or just a rather privileged public schoolboy from an aristocratic family who makes a career out of sneering at the lower orders.

Anyone else want to join in to help Farage win.
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Tigger
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papasmurf
Jan 15 2015, 05:24 PM
RJD
Jan 15 2015, 04:08 PM


Bricking up the Chunnel will produce a lot of laughs.

It would get a lot of support.
Until the same voters who cheered it on realised their route to cheap plonk and rolling baccy was now shut. ;-)
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Tigger
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jaguar
Jan 15 2015, 05:24 PM
Which party does Al Murray actually support as it appears Murray was born in Buckinghamshire, only son of Lieutenant Colonel Ingram Bernard Hay Murray (a great-great-great-great-grandson of John Murray, 3rd Duke of Atholl, who married Charlotte, Baroness Strange), and Juliet Anne Thackeray, née Ritchie (a great-great-granddaughter of William Makepeace Thackeray. His grandfather, the diplomat Sir Ralph Murray, was of Scottish nobility and married into the von Kuenburg family, aristocrats from Austria.

Is he a man of the people, or just a rather privileged public schoolboy from an aristocratic family who makes a career out of sneering at the lower orders.

Anyone else want to join in to help Farage win.
The pub landlord character is in the same mould as Harry Enfield's Loadsamoney, it's a parody that Murray has said in the past people identify with for the reasons he never really intended.

His politics seem on the face of it left wing, very few comedians appear to be right wing for obvious reasons.
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Steve K
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Once and future cynic
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Tigger
Jan 15 2015, 06:10 PM
jaguar
Jan 15 2015, 05:24 PM
Which party does Al Murray actually support as it appears Murray was born in Buckinghamshire, only son of Lieutenant Colonel Ingram Bernard Hay Murray (a great-great-great-great-grandson of John Murray, 3rd Duke of Atholl, who married Charlotte, Baroness Strange), and Juliet Anne Thackeray, née Ritchie (a great-great-granddaughter of William Makepeace Thackeray. His grandfather, the diplomat Sir Ralph Murray, was of Scottish nobility and married into the von Kuenburg family, aristocrats from Austria.

Is he a man of the people, or just a rather privileged public schoolboy from an aristocratic family who makes a career out of sneering at the lower orders.

Anyone else want to join in to help Farage win.
The pub landlord character is in the same mould as Harry Enfield's Loadsamoney, it's a parody that Murray has said in the past people identify with for the reasons he never really intended.

His politics seem on the face of it left wing, very few comedians appear to be right wing for obvious reasons.
Exactly and that's why Farage will pretend he welcomes it but his party will be hurt by further association with the ridiculous.

I liked the "UK to leave the EU by 2025 and the Solar System by 2050" line. Wonderful parody.



Edited by Steve K, Jan 15 2015, 06:21 PM.
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papasmurf
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Tigger
Jan 15 2015, 06:06 PM
Until the same voters who cheered it on realised their route to cheap plonk and rolling baccy was now shut. ;-)
There would still be loads of ferries operating, and currently French tobacco products aren't much cheaper than Britain.
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Steve K
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Once and future cynic
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papasmurf
Jan 15 2015, 06:24 PM
Tigger
Jan 15 2015, 06:06 PM
Until the same voters who cheered it on realised their route to cheap plonk and rolling baccy was now shut. ;-)
There would still be loads of ferries operating, and currently French tobacco products aren't much cheaper than Britain.
Thinking about it there would be many more ferries operating as they could sell duty free again

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