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| For Victory, Not Defeat. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 13 2012, 07:52 AM (105 Views) | |
| Jamie O'Hara | Jul 13 2012, 07:52 AM Post #1 |
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For Victory, Not Defeat Underground 15/7/2012 Another week goes by and history etches another loss in its history books. The unfortunate streak continues for me. How can you cope with suffering defeat after defeat? Being so close to victory to have it all swept away within seconds? The mental toll mounts week after week. If I continue to lose, what will happen? All I search is one win, one victory, no matter how or when, but right now a win will mean the world to me. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt happy. Sitting here, alone in my locker room. The blank, boring, white walls bring back the memories of the mental asylum of two thousand and ten. This locker room sucks. I mean, really sucks. However, I stand doing anything more than just stare. Still sitting in the clothes I arrived in, unable to comprehend the idea of going out there later on tonight. Fear has struck me. Fear of losing, fear of facing the reality that the one moment of glory I hold so dear to my heart and keep locked away in my chest of memories was nothing but a fluke. It hits me. I was a fluke of a champion. I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it however for the past two years I’ve fallen short at every opportunity to reclaim that title. But with my head firmly stuck down south, I’ve always found excuses to get what I wanted; another match. Each having the same result. Falling short. Slowly I reach into my duffle bag and pull out my ring gear for night. The long, baggy black and gold pants with “O’Hara” stretched down one side and the southern cross printed down the other. The amount of pride I have for my nation is uncanny. Lastly, I pull out a leather jacket wrapped in plastic with a message written with a permanent marker: “Hopefully this changes your luck” No name was left with it. I was handed it on my way out of the hotel lobby, just up the road from the evening. Paul, the service desk employee who handed it to me, recalled an older gentleman approaching him in the very early hours of this morning with it. Moments pass and I find myself sitting in my ring gear, counting down the minutes until I’m called up to the gorilla position for my tag match. Facing CF Schulze isn’t a walk in the park and I experienced that first hand last week. His dirty and cheap tactics are something everyone needs to take with caution. However, deep down I don’t take much away from that defeat last week except for that cautious note. Had I delivered that Disaster Zone, I would probably have walked away from that ring with the victory. Sadly, I couldn’t. I can sit here all night and continuously make excuses for my mistake. Deny that it was my general compassion for the welfare of the referee that cost me the match, but that gets me no where. Schulze may be facing the World Champion at The Ultimate Showdown and in his own little world, believes he has all the momentum. The unfortunate thing about momentum is that it can be stopped whenever, where ever. His team mates, Ashten Cross, Joey McArthur and Venom are not men to be taken rather lightly. Venom I've faced before and he's a tough man, however, he's no where near the caliber of myself. Nowhere close on the ladder as I am. However for both Cross and McArthur, it's a new experience. I've yet to face either men and I've watch McArthur evolve from a new kid on the block who I had little to no interest, to winning the King of Wrestling tournament and pushing Dean James to his limit. I sat back and watched that match with absolute joy. Seeing Dean James not being able to make the ten count was something I certainly enjoyed. While Ashten Cross on the other hand is someone I have to thank very much. If he hadn't placed that ladder in perfect position, I don't think I would have gone the length I did in the Brawl For It All match. Sadly, Cross is just another superstar that's placed right in front of me. Just another name I can add to the list of superstars I've faced and hopefully defeat.... Another loss to add to my record. Fate does seem to suck but It works in a funny way. They say things happen for a reason. Well, there better be a pretty good fuckin’ reason for my continual losses. I suppose the likelihood of winning this week grows. I said I never make the same mistake twice, well, that’s absolutely true. However this week, teaming with three men who I trust will do their absolute best to get the job done, Shaker Jones, Anthony Hawk and Boris Neshkabov, I have faith we’ll manage to get the victory and perhaps afterwards, Boris and myself could go for a drink. I quite like my Russian vodka and perhaps for the first time in months I can drink for victory and not sorrow. My locker room door swings open and a UWF employee bursts through the door. ‘You’re wanted at the gorilla position’ ‘Okay, thanks’, I reply. Slowly I get to my feet, shoving my duffle bag under the bench. My back continues to ache from falling off the ladder and crashing through the announce table at Cross Roads and last week’s match didn’t make it any easier. Thankfully, it wasn’t a long walk from the locker room to the gorilla position. Awaiting me, talking amongst each other were Jones, Hawk and Neshkabov. Sometimes I struggle to say his name. One by one, they make their way up the ramp and towards the stage before the man who called me here moments ago pats me on the back, signalling me for my entrance. I reach for a bottle of water that sits in an eski of many. I take a large gulp before placing it on top of the cargo crate and begin to make my way through the gorilla position. As I walk through the makeshift hallway, I hear “Better Off This Way” by A Day To Remember hit, the fans roaring in cheers. Behind the curtain, I take a deep breath and close my eyes for just a moment. Perhaps this week will be different. Perhaps I can drink for victory and not defeat. The scene fades to black. Edited by Jamie O'Hara, Jul 13 2012, 08:52 AM.
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