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| A Turn for the Worse. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 15 2012, 04:26 PM (103 Views) | |
| CoachVarietyHour | Jul 15 2012, 04:26 PM Post #1 |
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The Soviet Submission Sensation
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A Bald Eagle passes over the mountains of West Virginia, land of the Black Bears and Cardinals. It is a humid evening in the town of Craigsville, with relief only coming in from a cool breeze here and there. In the middle of a field sits a log cabin, lying prominent in the ocean of grass and weeds. On the deck sits a man wearing a fuzzy ushanka, obviously unaware of the sweltering heat around him. Another man in shorts and a t-shirt comes to sit with him, making a point to turn on a small fan next to the two of them. The man in the ushanka takes off his patriotic headgear and turns to face the smaller man. Boris: What is it Billy? Here for me to give you another interview? Billy: No Boris, I want to see how you're doing. Boris: What? This isn't about a forced interview a little while before I have a match? Billy: Now Boris, I've been your personal assistant for almost a year, don't you think we're past all of this? I'm wondering how you feel about this Joey McArthur business. Did you even see his interview? Boris: No, Why do you ask? Billy pulls up a small tablet and types in the address for UWF.com and clicks on the video. Boris stares intently at the small touchscreen as he watches the video. After sitting in silence for at least two minutes after viewing the video. Boris starts to chuckle to himself. Billy turns to Boris giving him a quizzical look. Boris' laughter continues and starts to get louder and louder. Soon enough it wakes his pet Black Bear Narkoman from his long fish induced slumber. The laughter rises in volume and continues to escalate till it seems as though the whole house is shaking just from the Soviet Submission Sensation's guffawing. After this continues for almost five minutes, Boris settles down and turns to Billy. Billy: Boris, what the hell was that!? You haven't done something that odd and outlandish since you took home a Bear you found in the wild! Boris: Sorry my friend, but what Joey McArthur said amused me. I haven't laughed that hard since I brought home a Bear I found in the wild and you screamed and hide in the closet for five hours! Billy: What is so funny about Joey berating you for about six minutes and then accepting your challenge for the Ultimate Showdown? Boris: Exactly, Joey McArthur has nothing to hide from now. The stage is finally set, and I shall be there to squash him and end his pathetic little "streak" he holds onto so dear. after weeks of sitting on my ass doing nothing, everything I've worked hard to put in place is finally there! It shall be joyous Billy, just absolutely joyous! Things are starting to come up Boris! Billy starts to shift uneasily upon hearing Boris' gloating. Billy: So, uh, Boris, you do realize that you could end his streak earlier than Ultimate Showdown. You could pin him in that 4-on-4 tag team match on Underground. Boris: What 4-on-4 tag team match on Underground? I thought I got to sit on my ass until Ultimate Showdown! Billy then goes to the Underground page of UWF.Com and shows Boris the card, featuring him teaming up with Anthony Hawk, Shaker Jones, and Jamie O'Hara to take on CF Schulze, Ashten Cross, Joey McArthur and Venom. Boris contemplates this as he scrolls through the names, his eyes narrowing with hatred at reading his opponent's names. Boris: Oh, I see I am teaming with Anthony Hawk. He is a decently honorable man, and I am glad to see he has gotten his act together. As for Shaker Jones, I am sorry that he lost his world title opportunity so disappointingly, and it will be interesting to team with him. Ah, Mr. O'Hara. I have never seen a man work and fight as hard as you have. It is truly an honor to team with you, and I will take you up on that drink. Your treat. And as for my opponents, I know Venom all too well. And even after almost a year, he is still baby man. As for Ashten Cross, you may have accomplished a lot in other companies, but this is UWF. This is the big leagues, and take it from someone who's been here, it ain't easy being green. And CF Schulze, you may have won the Brawl For It All, and I respect that, but I cannot respect a man as deranged as yourself! And you, Joey McArthur. Never have I met a more disrespectful, loud mouthed, hypocritical, little worm. I am truly grateful for the fact that I can finally get my revenge on you for all the pain you've caused me. Not only that, but it shall be easier with you going on trial only mere days before. Ha ha ha! I am glad that I have never had to go through the American court process, and I doubt that I ever shall! Ha ha! Billy: Boris, I think it's time I told you why I came here. There are several people who are charging you with several crimes. You are being charged with five cases of assault, three cases of property damage, and several reports of driving under the influence. The court date is set for the Friday before Ultimate Showdown. I'm trying to get you an attorney, but things don't look good. You might need a state appointed one. I'm sorry, Boris. A mix of several emotions hit Boris all at once. The severity of this situation begins to flood over him. He opens his mouth to scream or swear or rant, but nothing comes out. Words cannot express the helplessness Boris feels. |
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2:52 PM Jul 11