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The Longest Thread III
Topic Started: Apr 23 2008, 04:21 PM (159,831 Views)
MYK
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Ashton Gate MYK
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An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."
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Libby!!
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Moody Cow
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MYK
May 1 2008, 01:07 AM
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn:
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Boro
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MYK
May 1 2008, 12:04 AM
John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

:lol:
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Libby!!
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Moody Cow
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Boro
May 1 2008, 01:08 AM
MYK
May 1 2008, 12:04 AM
John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

:lol:

Made you laugh did it? :lol:
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Boro
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MYK
May 1 2008, 12:03 AM
Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks them into the trolley

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife "They're on offer, only £10 for 24 cans", he says

"Put them back. We can't afford it," says the wife and they carry on shopping...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the man, "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," she says.

The man replies... "SO DOES 24 CANS OF STELLA AND IT'S HALF THE #####ING PRICE"

Its bloody true! Beer's been helping woman look great for centuries! ;)
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Boro
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Libby!!
May 1 2008, 12:07 AM
MYK
May 1 2008, 01:07 AM
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Made you tired did it???

:lol:
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Libby!!
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Moody Cow
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Boro
May 1 2008, 01:10 AM
Libby!!
May 1 2008, 12:07 AM
MYK
May 1 2008, 01:07 AM
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Made you tired did it???

:lol:

:lol: :lol:

It's old!
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Libby!!
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Moody Cow
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Georgie is walking down the street after a sex-change operation has
transformed him into a beautiful women. An old friend sees him and
says, "Georgie, you look great...you're beautiful!"

Georgie says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt."

His friend says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those
implants?"

Georgie says, "No, that didn't really hurt."

His friend says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?"

Georgie says, "No, that didn't really hurt."

His friend says, "Then what did hurt?"

Georgie says, "When the doctor drilled a fucking hole in my head and
sucked out half my brain."
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MYK
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Ashton Gate MYK
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I'm off now....

Goodnight Boo :D
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Boro
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MYK
May 1 2008, 12:14 AM
I'm off now....

Goodnight Boo :D

Boro! ;)

Night night mate!
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MYK
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Ashton Gate MYK
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I had an accident on the motorway yesterday.

Crashed head on into this orange Skoda.

What a f###ing mess.

There was cake and marzipan everywhere!!! :rolleyes:
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Libby!!
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Moody Cow
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Boro
May 1 2008, 01:15 AM
MYK
May 1 2008, 12:14 AM
I'm off now....

Goodnight Boo  :D

Boro! ;)

Night night mate!

He's being stupid......His medication is wearing off now :lol: :ph43r:
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Boro
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Paddy marches into the jobcentre and screams;

''I've been ringing 08001730 for two days now trying to get help.''

The lady at the desk asks,

''Did you get that number from our front door sir?''

Paddy replied ''Yes.''

Lady responds,

''Those are our opening hours you muppet!''
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Boro
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MYK
May 1 2008, 12:15 AM
I had an accident on the motorway yesterday.

Crashed head on into this orange Skoda.

What a f###ing mess.

There was cake and marzipan everywhere!!! :rolleyes:

:tumbleweed:

Jog on mate!
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Libby!!
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Moody Cow
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Boro
May 1 2008, 01:18 AM
Paddy marches into the jobcentre and screams;

''I've been ringing 08001730 for two days now trying to get help.''

The lady at the desk asks,

''Did you get that number from our front door sir?''

Paddy replied ''Yes.''

Those are our opening hours you muppet!

I nearly coughed my boots up then :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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