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| The Longest Thread III | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 23 2008, 04:21 PM (159,830 Views) | |
| Boro | May 1 2008, 12:21 AM Post #5161 |
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Whats wi all the jokes anyways? Does he think he can laugh ya to bed Libs??? :o |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:24 AM Post #5162 |
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Moody Cow
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I dunno, he was reading them on the Bristol City Forum :o I'll be going soon, he's still here anyway :o |
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| Boro | May 1 2008, 12:25 AM Post #5163 |
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(Sing this to the adams family tune)! ''Your sister is your mother, your father is your brother, you all shag one another, your shannons family!'' |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:29 AM Post #5164 |
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Moody Cow
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A newlywed couple arrived back from honeymoon to move into their tiny new flat. "Care to go to bed?" the husband asked. "Shh!" said his blushing bride. "These walls are paper thin. The neighbours will know what you mean! Next time, ask me in code - like, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' - instead." So, the following night, the husband asks: "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, darling?" "No," she snapped back, "I definitely shut it." Then she rolled over and fell asleep. The next morning, she woke up feeling a little frisky herself, so she nudged her husband and said: "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all..." "Don't worry," said the man. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand." |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:29 AM Post #5165 |
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Moody Cow
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:o :clapping: :clapping: :ph43r: |
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| Boro | May 1 2008, 12:31 AM Post #5166 |
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His and hers diary page, Wednesday 21st November. HERS; He was quiet, subdued, just not his normal self. Something was wrong. He hasn't kissed me all night. Not even looked in my direction. I think its another woman. I went to bed and cried. He followed me up later. I cuddled up to him and stroked his hair. He lay still.Eventually we made love and fell asleep in each others arms. HIS; England lost, out of euro 2008 fuckin gutted. Got a shag though! |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:32 AM Post #5167 |
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Moody Cow
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A man goes to the doctor for his wife's test results. Mr Smith : "I'm here for Mrs Smith's test results." Receptionist : "Oh, I'm sorry Mr Smith, there's been a problem. We have two sets of test results for a Mrs Smith and we don't know which belongs to your wife..... I'm afraid it's bad news or terrible news. One test shows Alzheimer's Disease, the other shows Aids!" Mr Smith: "That's awful! What should I do?" Receptionist: "The doctor suggests you drop her off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't shag her." |
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| Boro | May 1 2008, 12:33 AM Post #5168 |
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:lol: |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:35 AM Post #5169 |
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Moody Cow
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A man wakes up one morning with the filthiest hangover and no recollection of the night before. Slowly opening his eyes, he sees a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table. He looks around the room to find his clothes are on the dresser, neatly folded, with a clean shirt on top. The bedroom is immaculate. On the bedside table is a note, which says, 'Darling, your breakfast is in the kitchen. I love you.' Downstairs, he finds his favourite cereal, croissants, fresh OJ and freshly brewed coffee laid out waiting for him, along with the morning paper - and his 15-year-old son, who is finishing his own breakfast. 'Tell me, son,' he asks, 'what happened last night?' 'Well, says the boy, 'you came home so blind drunk you didn't even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, then you were sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over and when Mum tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a black eye.' 'Christ!' says the man. 'Then how come my clothes are all folded, the house is tidy and my breakfast is ready?' 'When Mum dragged you into the bedroom and tried to get your trousers off to put you into bed, you shouted at her, 'Get your filthy hands off me, you whore, I'm married!'' |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:35 AM Post #5170 |
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Moody Cow
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Myk...... I thought you were gone? :blink: banghead |
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| MYK | May 1 2008, 12:36 AM Post #5171 |
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Ashton Gate MYK
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Did you hear about that car on the M62 motorway near Liverpool last night? Apparently there was a car driving down the wrong way , the police stopped the car and it was John Arne Riise inside When he asked them why they'd stopped him....... they said YOUR HEADING THE WRONG WAY :lol: |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:36 AM Post #5172 |
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Moody Cow
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A popular bar has a new robotic barman installed. A guy comes in for a drink and the robot asks him: "What's your IQ?" The man replies: "130." So the robot goes on to make conversation about physics, astronomy and so on. The man listens intently and thinks: "This is really cool." Another guy comes in for a drink and the robot asks him: "What's your IQ?" The man response: "100." So the robot starts talking about TV, the weather and so on. The man thinks to himself: "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy comes into the bar. As with the others the robot asks him: "What's your IQ?" The man replies: "80." The robot says: "So, how are West Ham doing these days?" |
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| MYK | May 1 2008, 12:36 AM Post #5173 |
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Ashton Gate MYK
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You know me......I always come back for more ;) |
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| Boro | May 1 2008, 12:36 AM Post #5174 |
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I'm pretty tired now, i'm offski. Night you two. Have fun! Sleep well! ;) |
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| Libby!! | May 1 2008, 12:37 AM Post #5175 |
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Moody Cow
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And people say I'm addicted :o |
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