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| Online Abuse | |
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| Topic Started: May 15 2014, 04:15 PM (160 Views) | |
| Administrator | May 15 2014, 04:15 PM Post #1 |
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Administrator
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Hey Everyone, I saw this article online and while it's related to the gaming community, I think it makes some interesting points about how not to treat people online. It's really important that while we have miles between us, that we're all still very much human beings - with feelings and beliefs - and while you may not agree it, it's important that we respect each other. READ THE ARTICLE HERE |
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| Deleted User | May 15 2014, 08:43 PM Post #2 |
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Deleted User
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Excellent read! Thank you! I think we got a pretty good group so far, but its still a good point to make that if someone says something that makes you uncomfortable, tell them! And if someone tells you you're making them uncomfortable, stop! Its not that you're a bad person, or the other person is hypersensitive, and its nothing to get defensive over. We all just have different boundaries and what you consider good natured ribbing can rub another person the wrong way. |
| Deleted User | May 16 2014, 10:15 AM Post #3 |
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Deleted User
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The part about community is particularly poignant. As with any community, our norms and boundaries need to be both established and enforced. That doesn't mean anything more than that our members need to support and reinforce that when somebody says something inappropriate and you know that it is inappropriate, you must not be idle. First, by saying and doing nothing, it signifies agreement and makes you complicit in establishing an environment in which that behavior is acceptable. People who violate the boundaries of a community will often 'test the waters' before diving in. That means that they will say or do something that crosses the boundaries and they will gauge the reaction. If there is no reaction, it signifies that their behavior is acceptable. It is imperative that it be demonstrated that it is not each and every time. Second, it is common that we may not know when something pushes the boundaries. As Katya said, what I perceive as gentle ribbing or innocent fun by another member directed at her may actually be something that completely crosses her boundaries. That is okay. We can't be expected to catch everything all the time. The key part is that if she says that a boundary has been crossed, there is no longer any excuse! I must support her when she speaks up! There are no innocent bystanders, and my silence only serves to support that unacceptable behavior. I'll tell you first hand that it feels rotten when somebody says something extremely disrespectful and offensive, I vocalize that it hurts me, and nobody supports me. Again, people test the waters. What is somebody who is harmful to the community going to do when only one person of ten challenges them? Probably interpret that the other 9 condone the behavior and continue to be harmful. But what if all ten people challenge harmful behavior? That toxic person is going to be shut down, if not immediately, then very soon. Everybody has a responsibility to reinforce the behavior of our group, otherwise the written rule and the unwritten rule do not mean the same thing. |
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