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It Stinks!; Our Favorite Bad Reviews
Topic Started: Jul 7 2008, 02:23 PM (419 Views)
Yum Yum Bunny
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Edible Bunny
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I just have to dedicate an entire thread to this. My favorite reviews at IGN are always the ones that are bad. Suffering somehow brings out hilarious reviews, and after this review of the most cartoony episode of Fear Itself yet, I had to start this thread:

http://tv.ign.com/articles/886/886414p1.html

The writers from Road House 2 thinks girls have cooties and can't do things boys can.
No, seriously.
Lord, beer me strength.
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Mimi Tears
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ACTRESS!
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A Critic reference! *emobravo*

(...That's all I get to say?! Dearest lord, when will I get a signifigant amount of dialogue?!)

@}~~~~MIMI TEARS
"I would like to be Jupiter and kidnap everybody and lie down making love to everybody because I don't know how to express -- it's a question of love."

-Roberto Benigni
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Tabris Macbeth
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Never. Now, it's time to post stuff I found at IGN:

http://tv.ign.com/articles/907/907027p1.html

"One of the most offensive and horrible episodes yet." That cracks me up, but not as much as this one: "This episode adds some new bad qualities to watch out for in future episode and sends probably one of the worst messages to children."
In the end, the fat Elvis impersonator that's supposed to be a prince falls in love with the fat princess, proving that love isn't an asshole that wants to make women ashamed of their bodies. Does that sound so bad? No! That's not the message Charles White took away, though. The message he say was "your opinion of fat people should be the same as the skinny, bitchy blonde girl with obviously insecure with her own body". (On a related note, Google "Fat Princess" and take a gander at how bitchy people get over every damned thing.)
Oh, and there was a piss rainbow.

This one Neko sent to me:

http://ds.ign.com/articles/902/902785p1.html

"Pony Luv". Seriously.

http://ps3.ign.com/articles/906/906760p1.html

I just gotta point and laugh at this one. Dear lord, this was the absolute last straw! Each NIS game gets cheaper than the last, and I'm hoping this will be a wake up call to them.

Finally:

http://movies.ign.com/articles/906/906758p1.html

I love you, Gilchrist. Truly, you are as Christ, but with gils.

-Tabris
Owner of a little nothing company that isn't real, administrator of WOAM, 98% of the posters here, and king of the lesbians.
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Tabris Macbeth
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http://wii.ign.com/articles/907/907212p1.html

I haven't read the whole thing yet, but the comments border on all-out ludicrous!

"Ironic that you still have people complaining about 2D games being old and crappy and just all around not functional for current gen games."

Um, no. No one's complaining about the good 2D games, and there are plenty of those! Hell, just a few reviews down was Super Mario RPG for the Virtual Console, which got a 9.5 (as it should)!
And of course, you can't have batshit insane comments that seem out of touch with reality without the conspiracy theorists!

"ign is a journalist website. so they give thoughts and such based on charity from companies. the more the companies give the more praise it gets."
...You people do realize that these people are actually playing the games and voicing their opinions, right? You know why Grand Theft Auto 4 and Metal Gear Solid 4 got such rave reviews? Because those were huge, well made games (except for GTA4, which aside from not having all the cool stuff we've come to expect in a GTA game, also have a fatal bug that made the game crash for lots of people)! What sort of fucked up logic is this? "Hmm. If a game is a huge production, then must be terrible and they have to buy off reviews! And conversely, games made with small budgets...must be AWESOME!" Yeah, fantastic logic. That's why Atari's "Alone in the Dark" isn't hated by anyone with a brain. Oh, wait! They actually threatened reviewers with legal action for not getting the scores they wanted! Whoosey doodle! I think the logic train just flew off the tracks!
Thanks, Bush Administration, for nurturing these seeds of stupidity, so that they might blossom into fully bloomed dumbassery. Thank you, loyal Bushies, for creating the Anti-Renaissance.

-Tabris

P.S.- Who other than the most obsessive loser geek knew there were THREE Pocky & Rocky games released in the US? Yeah, shame on IGN for not stating something only 13 people knew.
Owner of a little nothing company that isn't real, administrator of WOAM, 98% of the posters here, and king of the lesbians.
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