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| Crawling in my skin [P]; ||Fluffy|| | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 11 2013, 02:18 PM (156 Views) | |
| Rin | Mar 11 2013, 02:18 PM Post #1 |
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I belong to dawn
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Dismay. Anger. Hatred. Bitter. Did he deserve love? Did he even deserve to live anymore? What was love to a hollow shell like him? What emotions were left? Or, the more obvious question, were there any emotions left in him? Sure, he may have said he loved her then, but now it felt like he was only holding on because she was the last thing he had left. And that was what made facing this next challenge, this next ordeal, even more difficult. He had to kill her. Well, he didn't have to. But the only thing within him, his other self consciousness, told him that he didn't need her. Try as he might, he hadn't been able to resist the sway of emotions. Maybe he had shown it already, and maybe, he hoped, that she had realized she was in danger and left him for good. Because staying around him when he was like this. . . Why haven't I ended my life yet? The thought came, ringing through his mind, racing through his skin, sending chills down his spine. The wind bit through his jet black fur, slamming against his green eyes and causing them to close to shield against the cold force. No more running from this. I'll have to live up to it at some point. I can't keep running for forever. He had finalized the details of his plan last night. He would kill her, or be rid of her, and then return to Shadowclan once more. And if they killed him on sight, then so be it. But why would they harm an Apprentice? You're not an Apprentice anymore. This frame, this pelt and it's eyes, felt so unfamiliar to him. Like he was trying to fit into skin that was too large for him to fill. He had grown since there leave. Grown a lot. His last words were to his former Leader; they were full of anguish and hatred and burning anger, fierce in his green eyes. Why then, did he feel the need to return now? "Sweetkit." His voice ripped through the silence, barely holding back the tears that were on the verge of ripping through his eyes, and streaming down his face in thick rivulets. Why had he said her name? Maybe it was time to go back and deal with this, finally. It had been haunting him, crawling around like a bug inside his skull, for days now. And every time he saw her. . . No. I won't lose my nerve now. Pulling himself forward, he loosened his claws, stalking back toward the place they had arranged as their main hiding spot for now. With any luck, she would be asleep. If not, then he could lie in wait for an ambush before striking at her. Step one. . .riddance. |
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| Azalea | Mar 11 2013, 10:55 PM Post #2 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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Sweetkit was out gathering herbs. She wanted to make sure everything was alright, she didn't know much, but she had picked up the basics. She had noticed something was up with Smokepaw, she decided to ignore it until he brought it up. She padded over near him and then heard her name. Something ran through her mind. Run. Run. Leave. Don't go through this drama... But she didn't, she stayed put and padded over to him. "Yes, Smokepaw?" She murmured as she dropped the herbs. She couldn't help but think something was wrong. Flee back to ShadowClan, before it's too late. The voice kept whispering in her head, she tried to get it out, but it wasn't her head, it was her gut telling her to run. But her little head made herself stay put. Her golden gaze looked into his eyes, waiting for a response. |
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| Azalea | Mar 20 2013, 06:32 PM Post #3 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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| Rin | Mar 20 2013, 06:40 PM Post #4 |
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I belong to dawn
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ooc]I'm terrible at keeping up with our threads. . .maybe a nice pm every once in a while as a reminder? ![]() ic] That voice. . . Every instinct told him to go for a head on assault. Every tactic, everything he had learned. That was what his training told him to do. But he couldn't bring himself to do it; not to her. You see! You're letting emotions get in the way of your actions! His gaze met her eyes once, but he looked away quickly. Why should he be able to look at her? She was his younger, and smaller than him. It would be a quick and clean kill. Why did he still hesitate like this? Why was this so difficult? "Sweetkit. . .these are. . .different times now." He had to say something. Some part of him wanted to warn her that she was about to be slaughtered. "And I. . ." He couldn't face her. Not like this. "These thoughts. . .they crawl within me like little bugs." Funny. She fell in love with me; of all the messed up ones in this world. . . He didn't say anything after that. He didn't need to, nor did he want to. The signs were all there. He was trying to warn her, but also trying to deceive her. If that was even possible. It was clear she would interpret it one way or the other. |
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| Azalea | Mar 20 2013, 06:55 PM Post #5 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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Sweetkit listened. After she heard what he said she took a step back. 'What is wrong with him?' 'Why is this happening?' 'Does everything in my life have to be full of pain?' He is going to kill you... Sweetkit thought to herself, asking herself questions, and then there was the answer. She wasn't stupid. But she was hurt. And now she was angry. With claws unsheathed tears streamed down from her eyes. "How dare you! I can't believe you! Why not just say go to another place, but kill me?! You are horrible. And you were tired of Vaguestar?! At least he wasn't trying to kill other cats you pathetic piece for a cat!" She spat. Tears kept streaming down from her eyes. Her golden eyes were filled with pain but the most you could see was anger. "Everything in my life goes wrong! And then you just allow me to come with you and want to kill me?! I left everything I had for you. The least you could do is tell me how you feel. You are a liar! I am half Clan and I have dealt with many things, but enough is enough. If you are going to try to kill me, I will kill you first!" She screamed. {Yes, I know. When I see you I bump the thread and you usually end up posting, But I will PM you next time if that would work better. }
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| Azalea | Mar 25 2013, 09:04 PM Post #6 |
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| Azalea | Mar 27 2013, 08:10 PM Post #7 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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| Rin | Mar 27 2013, 08:19 PM Post #8 |
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I belong to dawn
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That went over quite well. But he was ready to retaliate with his own forceful anger. She had just snapped the last straw. "You think you can kill me? How blind are you? I'm older than you, and more muscular than you. Face that one down." Surprisingly, he kept a cool calm. "As for your other insults, have you looked in the water? That's a perfect example of everything you described. You know, this was going to be simple. Kill you, and go back to Shadowclan. But now it's going to get interesting." His haunches went up behind him, his claws flexed eagerly, and his green eyes blazed so suddenly and fiercely with a fire that was showing no mercy. "Show me what you've got." That was all he needed to say. But he had no intention of letting her take the first move. Reckless and headstrong as he was, he tried an assault for her flank, charging straight toward her, claws out and ready. At the last second, however, he veered off of his main attack plain and aimed a fierce strike that would land straight across her maw, tearing at vital flesh and, hopefully, momentarily blinding her. |
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| Azalea | Mar 27 2013, 08:27 PM Post #9 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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Sweetkit I may be Half-Clan' I may be small' I may be weak' She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Sweetkit's fur fluffed up even more. "You were going to leave me and go back to ShadowClan?! How dare you! You heartless piece of mouse-du-" She yelled and was cut off when she realized he was attacking. Her eyes glowed with anger and she quickly dodged. She gave a low growl and charged for him, he had forgotten that she was only a few moons younger. She aimed a strike across his flank before diving under to aim multiple swipes at his belly. 'But I shouldn't be treated different 'I shouldn't be put down 'Because of your insecurity |
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| Rin | Mar 27 2013, 08:42 PM Post #10 |
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I belong to dawn
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You'll have to try harder than that. He anticipated the strike that she was aiming. With a near flawless execution of a technique Savvyfang had taught him, he swerved quickly, turning to face her head on. There was no way she could attack his weak spots when he was aiming for her. No matter how strong the enemy, they can't hurt you if you raise your claws to their throat. Who had taught him that? He couldn't remember anything. Something seemed to cloud his vision. Claws came forward, raking across his stomach. Something even greater struck him with a sudden thought. All this time, every moment, he had never known his true mother. He had only seen glimpses of her in sleep and dreams, fitful visions that made no sense to him. But it dawned on him like a sudden blast of cold water to the face. Icy blue eyes. Soft white fur, speckled with brown. A chocolate tipped tail. They raked under him, tearing shreds of his soft underbelly as she passed underneath him. Gasping for breath from the fatal attack, he collapsed to the ground, rolling over onto his belly, not looking at the wounds. And just like that, it was over before he had even known it had started. Ironically, tears streamed from his face. Possibly from the fact that he would never know who his mother was. He would never meet her, never know what she was truly like. All he had was her description. White fur, speckled with brown. Icy blue eyes that ended in a chocolate tipped tail. Black. . .markings on her face. Who was my mother? He had spent his entire life trying to answer that question. He had wandered for so long, never finding his answer. And now, he was dying, tears streaming down his face as he took in a deep breath, slowly releasing it. This is it. She's going to kill me now. But the jet black tom could do nothing but sit there, sobbing, as he slowly bled out, waiting for her to finish him off. ooc]I have muse for a plot! I might discuss it with you through pm's but I'm improvising for now. Also, please don't kill him! It will make it more dramatic and sad if she doesn't. ^^
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| Azalea | Mar 27 2013, 09:05 PM Post #11 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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Sweetkit I may be Half-Clan' I may be small' I may be weak' Sweetkit couldn't believe it. Did she really just do that? She thought for sure it would take more than that, she didn't even think she would win. She looked at her bloody paws. That wasn't her blood. It felt overwhelming and then she turned to Smokepaw. She had loved him, she still sort of did. She looked at her paws again and padded over to him. She leaned down to his ear. "I will not kill you, Smokepaw. Whatever happens, know that I still love you, even you if you don't love me back..." She whispered, tears formed in her amber eyes. She looked around and saw a bush. She padded over to it and grabbed the cobwebs. She then padded back over to Smokepaw. His stomach was gushing blood. She couldn't just watch him die or even leave him. She started to apply the cobwebs and tears trickled down her cheek. What had she done? Did she really kill a cat? Was this all for nothing? Was she going to live the rest of her life as a criminal...? She couldn't bare it, but she realized she was thinking of herself, not the cat she had almost killed. She looked at him and her cobweb wrapping, that should keep him alive... 'But I shouldn't be treated different 'I shouldn't be put down 'Because of your insecurity |
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| Rin | Mar 27 2013, 09:14 PM Post #12 |
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I belong to dawn
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His emerald eyes glanced up at the sky, his tears still falling from his eyes. "Don't. . .help me. I'm. . .already lost." He couldn't bring himself to look at her. It was too much. White fur. Brown speckles. Icy blue eyes. Chocolate tail. "Sweetkit. . .I never stopped loving you. This may be the end for me, but you can go on. I. . .couldn't find out who she was, but you can." His head lolled back onto the ground, as an exasperated sigh escaped his lips. He was nearing the end of his life faster than he thought. He had been a fool. "Sweetkit. . .Don't. . .give up. Please. . .go on. You. . .have to tell them. . .and then. . ." His gaze seemed clouded suddenly, and his breath came in heavy and quick breaths. The blood seeped through the wounds in his chest, soaking into the rest of his fur. So much. . .blood. . . His gaze was glazed over with the tears that still fell from his eyes as he glanced up at the sky, so blue and happy, it was like a smiling face tormenting him in his last moments. |
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| Azalea | Mar 27 2013, 09:20 PM Post #13 |
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This is Fluff in a new form <3
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Sweetkit I may be Half-Clan' I may be small' I may be weak' Sweetkit felt like her heart had really torn apart. She heard him talking, she intently listened. But she didn't understand and when it looked like he was on his last breaths she felt a swirl of confusion. "Wait, tell me the rest! That isn't enough information. I need to know more, I swear if you tell me more I will find this cat!" She yowled, tears streamed down her eyes. She wanted to tear something apart, she couldn't bear the pressure. She just wanted him to stay alive. She wanted him to tell her the rest. She couldn't watch him die like this. She wanted to run away. She didn't know what she wanted to do really, though... 'But I shouldn't be treated different 'I shouldn't be put down 'Because of your insecurity |
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| Rin | Mar 27 2013, 09:42 PM Post #14 |
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I belong to dawn
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'So many times I’ve said to save yourself So many times I’ve said to be who you are So many times I’ve said to never let go And you never listened Can you still hear me, from where you are? Or is your mind too far gone To hear these words of my guilt and my failure? How many times can I say I’m sorry How many times do I have to say I never helped you? Some would disagree; you wouldn’t let me But does it make a difference? I failed to save you I failed To help you I failed To be there To prevent you from painting that pretty picture In this story with a twist There isn’t a thing in the world to make up for it To make up for my blindness How could I not see it? If I only looked a little closer I would have seen how they tore you apart I would have seen you had no control I would have seen that you had needed me I would have prevented those pastel rivers from marring your golden skin I would have prevented the darkness that so seared your mind I wouldn’t have just sat there Watching blindly I would have seen I would have helped But I didn’t I failed I’ll never forget that You, of all people, taught me things You taught me things of extraordinary quality Things I would never have realized You taught me to see You taught me to be strong, a warrior You taught me to always be there By me not seeing for you Or being a warrior for you Or being there… for you I’ll never stop saying I’m sorry I’ll never stop regretting this But at least, I can say one more thing too Thank you.' His words came after his thoughts, resounding like an echo as he heard them in his mind, like a river flowing through a mountain, carving its way through the stony walls. "White fur. . .speckled brown. Icy blue. . .eyes. Chocolate. . .tipped tail." His last moments; he wanted those to be with her. There was no sense in leaving her now. His gaze rested on her form, so beautiful and unmarred, while he lay here on the ground, dying and breathing shallow and light breaths. "White fur, speckled brown. . .icy blue eyes, chocolate tipped tail . .." He repeated it again, not to her, but to himself, wondering if he had ever seen anyone like that before. How ironic to be thinking of that in his last moments. "White fur! Brown speckles! Icy blue eyes!" they were repeated again, this time in order to get them out one last time. "Chocolate tipped tail--" A sudden pain wrenched through him as he gazed up at her. The tendrils of black creeping through his vision, and as he closed his eyes, the last words he spoke were to her. "Sweetkit. . .go on. Tell them. . .and take care of our family." And with that last statement, he couldn't bear the pain anymore. One last thing, to clear her name and her guilt. His claws came up to his throat swiftly, and he tore the flesh there, ending his own life as the last wisps of air left his mouth. Strangely enough, a sad smile creased across his features. And he was gone. Just like a gust of wind on the air--he was gone. |
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| Azalea | Mar 27 2013, 09:58 PM Post #15 |
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Sweetkit I may be Half-Clan' I may be small' I may be weak' Sweetkit listened. She made sure to note that in her memory. She would remember this moment forever. She had almost forgotten, she was expecting kits. When she mentioned them more tears filled in her eyes. She had killed their father. She had killed their father and there was nothing more she could do. He was gone and tears kept streaming from her cheek and onto his lifeless body. "No! I'm so sorry! I will find that cat, I will..." She yowled and put her head deep inside his fur. It was still warm, she had to move on. But she had to keep going. She had to go back to ShadowClan. She couldn't tell anyone. She just couldn't. She would have to say to her kits one day, when they asked, that he died during birth. She had to leave for now. She had to leave him, but she couldn't, she felt as if she couldn't. After a while and looked up at the sky. She wondered if StarClan was even there, above them. She hoped not because if they were, they would see that she killed a cat. A cat she loved. Why did bad things always happen to her? They always did, but she couldn't stop them. She got up and licked Smokepaw's cheek. "You hunt with StarClan now. I will never forget you. I love you." She murmured and picked him up by the scruff. She then found a good place. She started to dig a good spot for him. After she finished her digging she set him carefully in there. Sweetkit then started to put the dirt back in there, but first she looked at his body one last time. She then kept putting the dirt back in. After a moment she found some pebbles and set them on his grave. She then found a couple of flowers and set them there. She would come back one day, after she found the cat, she would come back and tell him. She would. She then didn't look back and turned away. She padded back towards ShadowClan... 'But I shouldn't be treated different 'I shouldn't be put down 'Because of your insecurity |
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