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I've forgoten who I am
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Topic Started: Oct 14 2012, 06:35 AM (27 Views)
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Derek
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Oct 14 2012, 06:35 AM
Post #1
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My name is Derek. I dont want your pity, I dont know if I deserve it anyways. I dont know how to explain myself. Im 17. Live in the snowy mountains. I have a beautiful girlfriend named Lilly. Life seems perfect right? I wish. My great grandma who im so close to is on the verge of death, I feel like I have already lost her and shes not even gone. My house, is more like the underworld. My mom left my dad before I was old enough to know who he was. Shes with a new guy now but he is horrible. He brings me down, all the time. He says I dont care when all I do is try to make things better. I respect him but were 2 different people. I heard him tell my mom one night i was a waste of time and they should stop caring about me as much and focus on what really matters, my other siblings. I feel like my step dad could care less, and my mom doesnt say much. My step dad only points out the negative and tells me Im no one. And my mom doesnt say much like I said. He treats my brother and sister like people. Im just another mouth to put up with and feed. So everyday I tell myself I could end it by leaving. Just give up and run away. But it would hurt my mom. Im lost, and I feel like I have no one but my Gf. It started when I rolled my parents new car swirving to miss a deer ( well thats what the police heard, the truth is I was drinking the first time ever the night before and had a nasty hangover ). I know what I did put my family in financial stress. So I got a job and offered to help. So my dad said since im such a bad a$$ getting a job why dont i pay for eveyhting i do. So I pay for my clothes, my truck that broke, repairs, insurance, school food, and my phone. Its alot for the low amoutn i get, Im 2000 dollars negetive. My parents dont talk to me unless they ask for money. Its the worse feeling when you feel like they dont care. On my birthday my step dad yelled at me 3 hours in row before i had it and left 50 miles to see my gf. You could say im in love with her. I feel like they dont care. I know my step dad doesnt. Once I stood up and said he was a jerk so i follwed me around the house pushing me down. He slapped me a few times and hit me in the ribs. It was once and it happened along time ago. Do they care, would they care if i died? I know im not perfect but i try to make them happy. They have given up pn me. I almost died. inches away from death. I know it was my fault, but im glad your alive is better than you stupid ass child. I cried for days. Embarresed to go to school, the wreck left me bruised beyond belief, and my parents told everyone. Where do I go . What do I do. I dont want pity. Im just trying to make it through life. I had a dream once, now I look at my figure in the mirror. Its been changed and I dont even believe in my name.
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Kaemin
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Oct 14 2012, 06:44 AM
Post #2
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Stay strong, Derek <3 Here if you need to talk.
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TalkToMe
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Oct 14 2012, 07:34 AM
Post #3
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We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. For your step father to treat you like that is horrible, but I'm sure you're mum cares, maybe she afraid of him. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone! Don't give up inbox me if you need to talk C:
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