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Timothy Lin - Illegal Drug Trafficking (Resolution)
Topic Started: Dec 3 2014, 04:31 PM (136 Views)
Timothy_Lin

Name: Timothy Lin
Committee: Global Security
Subject: Illegal Drug Trafficking
Proposed By: Taiwan (ROC)

The General Assembly:

1) Aware about the fact that the problems in developing countries are crippled
2) by Illegal Drug Trafficking,

3) Recognizing the intervention in many countries, like Myanmar and Vietnam
4) have only done minuscule actions in scale to the size of drug trafficking,

5) Unbeknownst to the fact internal social and economic conflict powers these 6) problems, and struggling to find a sure fire method of quelling drug trafficking,

7) Bearing in mind the United Nations have yet to respond with any sort of action,
8) resorting to
A) other countries to help with prevention of drug trafficking,
B) the UNDOC, although created by the UN, to try and implement an idea
C) countries’ own governments to counteract trafficking, like the DEA in the US

9) Reaffirming the populace about drug problems, managing to bust many transfers of
10) drugs,

11) Guided by developed countries, like the US with the DEA and TSA to combat
12) these drug traffickers,

13) Recognizing those within the UNODC and smaller groups that are trying to
14) create rehabilitation and assistance centers for those in need,

15) Recalling the past problems with Taiwan and heroin use, and how it relates to
16) Taiwan today,


17) Supports the idea that change is being made, and Taiwan is slowly becoming
18) a better country against drug trafficking,

19) Approves of the start of internal outlook of Taiwan’s drug issues,

20) Encourages other developing countries stricken with conflict to reflect back on
21) drug trafficking within their country,

22) Requests aid from the UN and UNDOC to begin a plan to be directly involved
23) within developing countries, alongside outlying islands of countries,

23) Calls upon UNDOC to truly get their own research than rely on others,

24) Urging other countries within the UN (US, EU, etc.) to prepare aid in case of
25) international drug trade, and prepare assistance and rehab,

26) Expresses the hope that illegal drug trade will be prevented, and that legal
27) attempts for drugs will be controlled properly.
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Deven_Bishnu
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Revise

Operative clauses (lines 17-27 in your case) begin with an underlined verb rather than an italicized one. Additionally, in 15-19, you are referring specifically to Taiwan - this resolution is (hopefully) going to be passed by the United Nations, meaning that nations are agreeing to help with any action taken. Don't be afraid to get the Security Council involved in helping with Taiwan's issues directly, or just leave Taiwan out of it altogether. Taiwan is proposing the resolution, but that doesn't mean it has to relate to Taiwan directly. ;)

In lines 22-23 you requested aid from the UN to begin developing a plan - well, congrats, you ARE the U.N. I would advise you to either input a plan in your resolution, or create a committee to deal with the issue/instruct a pre-existing committee (as opposed to the whole U.N.) to deal with it.

Finally, you begin line 5 with 'unbeknownst' - that means you are UNAWARE that social and economic conflict powers those problems. I would advise choosing a better word there. :)

Aside from that, fantastic resolution! I can tell you put a lot of effort into this one, and I'd love to see it pass.
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Timothy_Lin

Deven_Bishnu
Dec 10 2014, 07:45 PM
Revise

Operative clauses (lines 17-27 in your case) begin with an underlined verb rather than an italicized one. Additionally, in 15-19, you are referring specifically to Taiwan - this resolution is (hopefully) going to be passed by the United Nations, meaning that nations are agreeing to help with any action taken. Don't be afraid to get the Security Council involved in helping with Taiwan's issues directly, or just leave Taiwan out of it altogether. Taiwan is proposing the resolution, but that doesn't mean it has to relate to Taiwan directly. ;)

In lines 22-23 you requested aid from the UN to begin developing a plan - well, congrats, you ARE the U.N. I would advise you to either input a plan in your resolution, or create a committee to deal with the issue/instruct a pre-existing committee (as opposed to the whole U.N.) to deal with it.

Finally, you begin line 5 with 'unbeknownst' - that means you are UNAWARE that social and economic conflict powers those problems. I would advise choosing a better word there. :)

Aside from that, fantastic resolution! I can tell you put a lot of effort into this one, and I'd love to see it pass.
Updated Resolution, please look at the spots where you clarified. Please tell me if there are any more revisions to be made. Thanks!

Name: Timothy Lin
Committee: Global Security
Subject: Illegal Drug Trafficking
Proposed By: Taiwan (ROC)

The General Assembly:

1) Aware about the fact that the problems in developing countries are crippled
2) by Illegal Drug Trafficking,

3) Recognizing the intervention in many countries, like Myanmar and Vietnam
4) have only done miniscule actions in scale to the size of drug trafficking,

5)Alarmed by the fact internal social and economic conflict fuel these
6) problems, and struggling to find a sure fire method of quelling drug trafficking,

7) Bearing in mind the United Nations have yet to respond with any sort of action,
8) resorting to
A) other countries to help with prevention of drug trafficking,
B) the UNODC, although created by the UN, to try and implement an idea
C) countries’ own governments to counteract trafficking, like the DEA in the US

9) Reaffirming the populace about drug problems, arresting many drug rings and mafia
10) gangs,

11) Guided by developed countries, like the US with the DEA and TSA to combat
12) these drug traffickers,

13) Recognizing those within the UNODC and smaller groups that are trying to
14) create rehabilitation and assistance centers for those in need,

15) Recalling the past problems with International drug abuse, and how rehabilitation
16) centers and drug enforcement operates today,


17) Supports the idea that change is being made, and how countries and private
18)sector groups are beginning to take notice of drug abuse,

19) Approves of the start of internal investigation of multiple countries struggling with
20)drug problems,

21) Encourages other developing countries stricken with conflict to reflect back on
22) drug trafficking within their country,


23) Requests either the Security Council or the UNDOC to be directly involved
24) within developing countries, alongside outlying islands of countries to counteract 25) the problems with illegal drug trade,

26) Urging other countries within the UN (US, EU, etc.) to prepare aid in case of
27) international drug trade, and prepare assistance and rehab,

28) Expresses the hope that illegal drug trade will be prevented, and that legal
29) attempts for drugs will be controlled properly.
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Deven_Bishnu
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Pass
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Junha_Park
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submitted
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Why are you reading the text down here? Go write your position paper!