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Depression
Topic Started: Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 12:26 (409 Views)
Bisho no Teresa
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Shurayukihime
If I'm not posting so much, its because I'm feeling down, as I often do. Truth be known teasing and messing with people's heads is because I'm bored all the time, I feel down and I feel old like life's passing me by. It gives me something to do, but often has a bitter sting to it - I don't like most people, I tend to shove them away.
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HegemonKhan
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The Claymore Scribe
I like Claymore's word better:

Despair

Despression is psychology, your own mind is messing you up, which you can easily stop.

Despair is when life-the world-humanity-others-reality-environment-situations-circumstances-etc are messing you up, and you can't do any thing about it, total helplessness, True Despair, like being before Priscilla :D
Edited by HegemonKhan, Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 12:32.
"I hold the wolf by the ears, I am in a dangerous situation and dare not let go" -an old saying in Latin
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Edited by User, Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 13:18.
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Bisho no Teresa
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Shurayukihime
Nirvana is the same as samsara. I live in a state of anatman yet still suffer because of those who don't.
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HegemonKhan
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The Claymore Scribe
Music helps me, angry or sad songs. It's comforting to hear-know other people's problems when you got your own, misery loves company :D And there's always sleeping, hehe :D
Edited by HegemonKhan, Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 13:00.
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spit

Bisho no Teresa
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 12:38
Nirvana is the same as samsara. I live in a state of anatman yet still suffer because of those who don't.
uhm could you explain that anatman thing? and how do you live in that state?



"I feel down and I feel old like life's passing me by"
i think its pretty much normal, i have this often myself, im not sure what your views on life are but i dont think you believe there is some point to your existence... so


HK, yeah, music gets things done - i had some cases where music was not much of a help, but that was just because i was oversensitive to sound/music that time, i think even if my depression was really bad - music would make it better really fast, but i suppose there are various kinds of depressions

but for me music work every time
for example i can heal situational bad after taste of very bad talk in 2 minutes - i can use pin-point musical treatment - i just know which single song will help most in any given situation
although i rarely have the need to cure depressions, but i do sync my mind into my most preferred state several times a day - now i can switch on and off practically in an instant

music also helps to boost my creativity, im really obsessed with it - couldnt make it without it at this point

i think having a long term goal is the best way to prevent depressions
to be honest i didnt expect you to get depressions often, so what exactly is the cause?


hehe when i was reeeally small kid - 7-8 years old? i once thought about death and what do you percieve when you die - i came to a conclusion that you dont experience anything - not even pitch black...
that time i realized i dont want to die - when i told my parents i dont want to die they thought i was on the brink of a mental collapse or something and all they did was repeat that im not going to die or something along those lines - i was like : wtf you dont get it...

or this:
again i was small kid, once at night i started to think about loneliness, and it came to me how lonely people are despite how much everyone tries to hide it, i wasnt sad but i felt that emptiness from the whole idea - and for some reason i wanted to cry about it (i probably thought that i wont truly acknowledge the idea unless i will be sad about it - dont see any other reason)
so i kept thinking about it and try to picture people close to me as distant and the emptiness of all those superficial relationships - i was doing it, till i (kinda forcibly) shed few tears and then i went to sleep
if this is not fucked up... then i dont know
Edited by spit, Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 14:28.
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Nakawaka
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Depression is when one wouldn't see any difference whether or not one dies so one advocates euthanasia, but since everything is pain (including the fear of unknown through death), you fall into an emotional black hole where you are the victim of your own moral judgement.
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Hvehve
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Well, there are a few different types of "depression" but whatever.

I suppose that I fit some symptoms of depressions such as boredom, but it's more because I feel overwhelmed by stuff I could do and then get exhausted and never get to them. That's more procrastination, I guess.

I always remember life could be worse, which opens up all kinds of opportunities for schadenfreude
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InstantNoodles
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Quote:
 
If I'm not posting so much, its because I'm feeling down, as I often do. Truth be known teasing and messing with people's heads is because I'm bored all the time, I feel down and I feel old like life's passing me by. It gives me something to do, but often has a bitter sting to it - I don't like most people, I tend to shove them away.


Are you okay right now?

Usually when I feel a little under the weather, I try to talk to a few close friends about it. Even though they may not understand exactly what I'm going through and are just nodding their heads, it helps me when they listen to my rants. I'm not sure if it works for everyone else, but for me, I just rant out everything that's bothering me at the time and then I just feel better about it after a while.

And sometimes I just go play sports or online games, something competitive. What better way than to introduce yourself to more stress to distract yourself from your current stress lol.

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Despression is psychology, your own mind is messing you up, which you can easily stop.

Not always easy. Just because you know its just in your mind doesn't mean you can easily stop it.
Edited by InstantNoodles, Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 23:51.
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spit

Quote:
 
Quote:
 
Despression is psychology, your own mind is messing you up, which you can easily stop.

Not always easy. Just because you know its just in your mind doesn't mean you can easily stop it.

exactly, its because your own mind is screwed that you cant overcome it so easily

"Usually when I feel a little under the weather, I try to talk to a few close friends about it. Even though they may not understand exactly what I'm going through and are just nodding their heads, it helps me when they listen to my rants. I'm not sure if it works for everyone else, but for me, I just rant out everything that's bothering me at the time and then I just feel better about it after a while."
that wouldnt really help me ever

Quote:
 
I always remember life could be worse, which opens up all kinds of opportunities for schadenfreude

yeah optimism is good, but how do you overcome the fact (if it is there ) that life cant be better?

i havent really had a depression though, i always shake it off fast, and i feel like i cant have a depression - im very introspective and i see it coming - i see it from the very inception and i can lead it away - maybe im just good at manipulating myself


anyone had any depression cases?
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InstantNoodles
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spit
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 23:30
"Usually when I feel a little under the weather, I try to talk to a few close friends about it. Even though they may not understand exactly what I'm going through and are just nodding their heads, it helps me when they listen to my rants. I'm not sure if it works for everyone else, but for me, I just rant out everything that's bothering me at the time and then I just feel better about it after a while."
that wouldnt really help me ever
Yeah I thought it wouldn't apply to everyone. I generally like the company of people, just as long as they're people I know, and there isn't too many of them that I won't be able to talk on a more personal level without sounding awkward.

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yeah optimism is good, but how do you overcome the fact (if it is there ) that life cant be better?
It doesn't, but I guess it gives you this assurance that life isn't completely against you either. I really hate how this is done to death whenever I talk to people about my problems though. "Look at the kids in Africa, they don't even get to eat." Cool story bro, but my problem is still here lol.

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i havent really had a depression though, i always shake it off fast, and i feel like i cant have a depression - im very introspective and i see it coming - i see it from the very inception and i can lead it away - maybe im just good at manipulating myself
anyone had any depression cases?
I think most people, if not all has had their share of depression. Because we can't have everything, we get depressed over things that we're not able to have or are unable to keep.
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spit

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spit
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 23:30
"Usually when I feel a little under the weather, I try to talk to a few close friends about it. Even though they may not understand exactly what I'm going through and are just nodding their heads, it helps me when they listen to my rants. I'm not sure if it works for everyone else, but for me, I just rant out everything that's bothering me at the time and then I just feel better about it after a while."
that wouldnt really help me ever
Yeah I thought it wouldn't apply to everyone. I generally like the company of people, just as long as they're people I know, and there isn't too many of them that I won't be able to talk on a more personal level without sounding awkward.


yeah i have few people like that too, and i would probably sound awkward ther etoo but they are really used to it by now
my point is that i would never turn to them with this kind of problem
1 its my problem and they cant really do anything about it
2 they dont really give a shit (nobody does)

Quote:
 
Quote:
 
yeah optimism is good, but how do you overcome the fact (if it is there ) that life cant be better?
It doesn't, but I guess it gives you this assurance that life isn't completely against you either. I really hate how this is done to death whenever I talk to people about my problems though. "Look at the kids in Africa, they don't even get to eat." Cool story bro, but my problem is still here lol.

hahaha...
who talks to you like that? parents?

Quote:
 

Quote:
 
i havent really had a depression though, i always shake it off fast, and i feel like i cant have a depression - im very introspective and i see it coming - i see it from the very inception and i can lead it away - maybe im just good at manipulating myself
anyone had any depression cases?
I think most people, if not all has had their share of depression. Because we can't have everything, we get depressed over things that we're not able to have or are unable to keep.

thats where my rationality shows up - i set my goal carefully and i set everything up the best i can - the result are achievable goals, good strategy, optimism and happiness resulting in no depressions - i really cant imagine being depressed about anything - maybe im now too full of myself, sorry

i think i might really be able to change myself to evade being hurt, depressed etc
Edited by spit, Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 00:41.
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InstantNoodles
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hahaha...
who talks to you like that? parents?
You got it. Also a few people I've talked to have used it but replaced "kids in Africa" with themselves. I've done so a few times myself to, until I realized how stupid it sounds.

Quote:
 
thats where my rationality shows up - i set my goal carefully and i set everything up the best i can - the result are achievable goals, good strategy, optimism and happiness resulting in no depressions - i really cant imagine being depressed about anything - maybe im now too full of myself, sorry

i think i might really be able to change myself to evade being hurt, depressed etc
Mr. Adaptable right here lol. I'm not able to do that as well.
Edited by InstantNoodles, Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 00:56.
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spit

Quote:
 
Quote:
 
hahaha...
who talks to you like that? parents?
You got it. Also a few people I've talked to have used it but replaced "kids in Africa" with themselves. I've done so a few times myself to, until I realized how stupid it sounds.

too bad, cant imagine coming with a problem to someone and be told my problems are insignificant on his stupid scale
i 'abandoned' my parents long time ago

Quote:
 
Mr. Adaptable right here lol. I'm not able to do that as well.

maybe its just paranoia or being afraid to get hurt - considering it and comparing it to losing, so i rather not engage in the activity and be alone than do something and get hurt - but i like it this way - again maybe just because it makes me feel superior because i dont lose... i know not losing because you play only when you are certain to win is lame but still - if its not about winning but not getting hurt then why not? i might sacrifice my 'soul' in the process though

will i try talking to this friend about this weird problem i have and risk scaring him off or letting myself be vulnerable and making it possible to be betrayed? or will i rather keep it inside, accept the problem and overcome it by myself no matter how hard it will be - i think its clear what i pick...
Edited by spit, Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 01:24.
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feral
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Hmm, to be bored is not the same thing as to be depressed. Boredom is simply running out of ways to entertain yourself. While depression deals more with a lack of motivation or energy to do anything (like entertain yourself). Also coupled with feelings of helplessness and dejection.
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Bisho no Teresa
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spit
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 14:13
Bisho no Teresa
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 12:38
Nirvana is the same as samsara. I live in a state of anatman yet still suffer because of those who don't.
uhm could you explain that anatman thing? and how do you live in that state?
Vomitov should know. ;)

Anatman is the state of no mind, or no self-consciousness. Its usually translated as 'no-mind', and science confirms the status of mind as a 'user illusion'. I'm aware I exist and cause consequences through actions, but I don't have 'consciousness', which means I think in a Zen-like state.

You might have noticed the music I listen to is related to depression, resentment and aggression. Listening to Sol Invictus maybe isn't the best cure for depression. :(

My favourite folk song is Herr Mannelig because I'm pretty much like the bergatrollet (mountain spirit) in the song, just wanting one special love to take her away from the pain, so much she'd give him anything. Its why I like Claymore too, the themes and characters in it, or at least in the earlier part of the manga, are about what I know and understand.



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Crossbar
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 21:56
Quote:
 
If I'm not posting so much, its because I'm feeling down, as I often do. Truth be known teasing and messing with people's heads is because I'm bored all the time, I feel down and I feel old like life's passing me by. It gives me something to do, but often has a bitter sting to it - I don't like most people, I tend to shove them away.


Are you okay right now?

Usually when I feel a little under the weather, I try to talk to a few close friends about it. Even though they may not understand exactly what I'm going through and are just nodding their heads, it helps me when they listen to my rants. I'm not sure if it works for everyone else, but for me, I just rant out everything that's bothering me at the time and then I just feel better about it after a while.
Don't worry, I feel too much gut instinct to kill myself or self harm. But other people's listening doesn't help when I don't feel empathy.

feral
Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 02:08
Hmm, to be bored is not the same thing as to be depressed. Boredom is simply running out of ways to entertain yourself. While depression deals more with a lack of motivation or energy to do anything (like entertain yourself). Also coupled with feelings of helplessness and dejection.
Well I don't know what I feel, Feral, I'm bored, feeling down, feeling tired feeling lonesome. Depression beyond depression. I know I feel really bad right now, that's all.
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feral
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Bisho no Teresa
Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 03:28
spit
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 14:13
Bisho no Teresa
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 12:38
Nirvana is the same as samsara. I live in a state of anatman yet still suffer because of those who don't.
uhm could you explain that anatman thing? and how do you live in that state?
Vomitov should know. ;)

Anatman is the state of no mind, or no self-consciousness. Its usually translated as 'no-mind', and science confirms the status of mind as a 'user illusion'. I'm aware I exist and cause consequences through actions, but I don't have 'consciousness', which means I think in a Zen-like state.

You might have noticed the music I listen to is related to depression, resentment and aggression. Listening to Sol Invictus maybe isn't the best cure for depression. :(

My favourite folk song is Herr Mannelig because I'm pretty much like the bergatrollet (mountain spirit) in the song, just wanting one special love to take her away from the pain, so much she'd give him anything. Its why I like Claymore too, the themes and characters in it, or at least in the earlier part of the manga, are about what I know and understand.



Spoiler: click to toggle


Crossbar
Tuesday, 3. April 2012, 21:56
Quote:
 
If I'm not posting so much, its because I'm feeling down, as I often do. Truth be known teasing and messing with people's heads is because I'm bored all the time, I feel down and I feel old like life's passing me by. It gives me something to do, but often has a bitter sting to it - I don't like most people, I tend to shove them away.


Are you okay right now?

Usually when I feel a little under the weather, I try to talk to a few close friends about it. Even though they may not understand exactly what I'm going through and are just nodding their heads, it helps me when they listen to my rants. I'm not sure if it works for everyone else, but for me, I just rant out everything that's bothering me at the time and then I just feel better about it after a while.
Don't worry, I feel too much gut instinct to kill myself or self harm. But other people's listening doesn't help when I don't feel empathy.

feral
Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 02:08
Hmm, to be bored is not the same thing as to be depressed. Boredom is simply running out of ways to entertain yourself. While depression deals more with a lack of motivation or energy to do anything (like entertain yourself). Also coupled with feelings of helplessness and dejection.
Well I don't know what I feel, Feral, I'm bored, feeling down, feeling tired feeling lonesome. Depression beyond depression. I know I feel really bad right now, that's all.
I sincerely hope you feel better Bisho. My thoughts are with you.
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InstantNoodles
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I sincerely hope you feel better Bisho. My thoughts are with you.
Ditto. Feel better soon Bisho
Edited by InstantNoodles, Wednesday, 4. April 2012, 04:27.
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Bisho no Teresa
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Thanks everyone.
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spit

that songs - yeah depressing in its own way

not sure about you BnT but depressing music is the best for depression (also for listening)

this

i dont know how much you people think it is depressive and pessimistic or creepy - but i literally allow it to get inside me, i open up and let the emptiness fill me and then i feel really good

the more tragic,pessimistic, depressing, creepy the song is the better, i also like


talking about depression.. some time ago me and my friends were kinda rebelling against school deciding to leave and i often had long talks with him about everything he admittedly said to me that he practically doesnt have anything worthy to do or preserve, that if he couldnt watch movies and series (he watched like everything.. just not anime...) than he has no problems jumping from the bridge he passes every day...

i was like uhm i totally see


BnT - dont you have something you really want to do/preserve, some hobby or anything? i have music as a last stand... if there was nothing to do at all i would listen to music and write down how i perceive it
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Itsuki predator
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I think I just should end it all and kill my self..
I have even medication for this...if I won't take it...I just start to feel really bad and...I just start to pity my self and I believe all those bad things are true :(
and I just lose my want to live...
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spit

Itsuki predator
Thursday, 14. June 2012, 18:03
I have even medication for this...if I won't take it...I just start to feel really bad and...I just start to pity my self and I believe all those bad things are true :(
and I just lose my want to live...
sounds dangerous, but interesting to introspect about
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Itsuki predator
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I think I just should end it all and kill my self..
it sure is dangerous, and not fun at all :(
Edited by Itsuki predator, Thursday, 14. June 2012, 18:47.
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ellybean24
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Itsuki predator
Thursday, 14. June 2012, 18:03
I have even medication for this...if I won't take it...I just start to feel really bad and...I just start to pity my self and I believe all those bad things are true :(
and I just lose my want to live...
Well depression is a dangerous thing

My one friend had a discusion with me a while back cause he was worried :-/ he's known me for 12 years now
He said he knew about my depression and that I am so unawares that it caused me to be completely oblivious, the minute something posess a threat I start to smile and pretend it's not happening,,,
He said that he's seen me revert to the personality of a 7 yr old :-/ I didn't believe him when he said that and im sure he's crazy

I intensionally avoid confrontation and conflict by sleeping all day and being up at night when everyone else is asleep,,, I just don't feel like putting up with anything anymore

A few years back, i have attempted suiside, but I hesitated at the last moment and thought of my sister Roxanne,,, She and I will never have a family again, she knows this and all we have is eachother, if I kill myself, she'll be alone and I can't do that to her :'( she phoned me the day after telling me how she's doing and she said that she's so happy that we have eachother . . .

Sometimes the emotional stress is too much and i end up reverting to physical pain
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Itsuki predator
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I think I just should end it all and kill my self..
I have attempted suiside too...have to say that I still could kill my self at any moment I want but have not found reason for it...just take knife and slash my throat open..death comes in minutes..I don't really have good friends or have good ties to my parents...so it would be easy...
some times I think that I have gone mad..
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