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Political Jokes / Humor
Topic Started: Oct 30 2005, 01:03 AM (707 Views)
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Rock Star From Mars

KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain) for Hillary Clinton. Look closely at the sign:
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Rock Star From Mars

I'm sure you've all heard about mayor Nagin's desire to turn New Orleans into a "chocolate city?" *

Someone has sent me some funny photos pertaining to it:

click to view larger image:
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Image Shack, direct link

Mayor Nagin as Willy Wonka:

click to view larger image:
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-------------------------------------------
If you wish to argue or debate about Nagin, please start a new and separate thread about it. (I provide the following for educational / informational reasons only.)

If not, if you've not heard about it,

Nagin feeling remarks' backlash

Ray Nagin and the Chocolate Factory

New Orleans Chocolate With Nuts
  • In what has to be the most bizarre address by a Louisiana politician since Governor Earl Long´s infamous "sapsucker" screed on the floor of the legislature, Mayor Nagin delivered a speech that did himself and the city he represents few favors.

    ... While speaking at a Martin Luther King Day event on Monday, the mayor declared that ...

    He proclaimed that God was angry at the United States for the war in Iraq and sent three massive hurricanes to the gulf coast as a chastisement.

    .... [Mayor] Nagin also remarked that that New Orleans will once again be a "chocolate" city, a coarse demographic description that would have cost any white Republican his or her seat in Congress, and that God had intended it to be that way.

    The mayor´s "authentic urban political gibberish" is a crass attempt to lure black voters, whose political representatives have publicly questioned his "ethnic loyalty," under his campaign banner in the face of two significant white opponents to his re-election. ....
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Rock Star From Mars

Aw c'mon, someone here had to have gotten a kick out of Nagin as Wonka in the purple, velour suit photo! It's almost funnier than Madonna's lame "American Life" rap. :roll:
--------------------
EDIT:
-------------------
Homeless Senior Citizen
  • I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job.

    I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes.

    Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse.

    I lost my job.

    I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War.

    I lost my homes.

    I lost my health insurance.

    As a matter of fact I lost virtually everything and became homeless.

    Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.

    I will do anything that Senator Kerry and Senator Kennedy want to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year.

    Bush has to go.
    Sincerely, ....
    Saddam Hussein

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Rock Star From Mars

Current Funny Photo at Sacred Cow Burgers Site

Sacred Cow Burgers, other funny political photos
- some photos are somewhat risque, but I think most are "work safe." Some are of Cindy Sheehan, and if you don't like her, you may find a few things to chuckle at.
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Tonygirl
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Seen on a T-shirt:
"I'd rather go shooting with Dick Cheney than swimming with Ted Kennedy."
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Rock Star From Mars

I got this in an e-mail (it was entitled "Clinton Gets A Mustache"). Gross and rather tacky, but as I'm not a Clinton fan....

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Rock Star From Mars

I've been meaning to upload a few political cartoons I've come across in the past few months, but I've been too lazy to do so. Need to do that one of these days.

This is more religious than political, I suppose...

This Summer's Sexy Swimwear
  • … in the Islamic world! That’s right everybody, it’s summer and the time has come for the latest in beach fashion being bought by babes from as far-flung as Turkey to Saudi Arabia.

    Last year, this triggered a three post sensation due to the wide interest in the subject. And for good reason. Prepare yourselves for some of the most revealing and raunchy swimwear you’ve ever seen!

    Only if you’re a radical Islamist, anyway.
There are more photos of the swim wear line at that blog. I'm only posting the one -

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Rock Star From Mars

Now, this first thing is NOT a joke, it was written by an actual college student ("Cecilia Lucas, graduate student at UC Berkeley").

The reply to it, however, is what's funny.

First, the girl's poem (what horrible poetry it is, and I don't just mean the subject matter):

Berkeley Grad Student's Love Poem to [terrorist group] Hizballah
Quote:
 
    I Don’t Want to Love You, But I Do

    You were born out of death to a life in a cage
    Where bombs are not the only reason people die
    Fed by the violence of hunger and homelessness
    Raised by colonialism
    Your heart and your will still grew strong

    You scare me
    Not just because they tell me to be scared
    Not just because they repeat, repeat, repeat
    The story of 1983
    Begging me to understand
    Americans are worth more than Lebanese

    Why do they never tell me about Jihad al Bina
    That you have created so much
    Saved so many lives
    Improved so many more

    It scares me
    When I admit to myself
    That I would be more scared without you
    If I still took the time to see

    To see the violence that does not just fall from the skies
    that exists in hunger and homelessness
    in colonialism

    It scares me
    That my hope is tangled up
    In actions I would never want to commit

    But I don’t sleep much these days
    And I’ve tried hard
    But I haven’t found
    Anything
    to give me hope that they will listen

    They repeat, repeat, repeat
    The story of Gaza withdrawal
    Hoping we won’t see
    The violence that continues
    That kills in so many ways
    Hoping we will now support it
    Or at least stop looking

    They insist talk does not work
    When there is no one to talk to
    It is hard to find an interlocutor
    When you’re not willing to listen
    To see
    To feel

    How do you keep faith that talk will work
    When even they are insisting it won’t?

    I am learning to have hope in you
    I am learning to see you as so much more
    Than those actions I would never want to commit

    You amaze me.
    Born out of death to a life in a cage
    Raised by colonialism
    You did not accept imprisonment as natural
    You did not accept hunger as justice
    You did not accept
    the ceaseless killing in so many ways
    Of those next to you
    Or those farther away

    I love you
    But I will never be yours
    I don’t want you inside me
    You are too male for me


    And I cannot, gratefully, fully silence the voice that insists:
    Some deaths you did accept
    Including of some who were listening

    That is why the full statement that the question-marks pry me with reads:
    It is sad, but I’m learning to have hope in Hizbulla

    Maybe it is the naivety
    of one whose life has never been directly threatened
    I still believe:
    Be the change you want to see in the world.
The reply:

Iowahawk: I Love You Too, Cecilia Lucas
  • I am have monitoring the infidel Little Green Footballs site where to much surprise I am to be reading your tender poems to the Hezbollah.

    Although they do not having the rhymes, the sweetful beauty of your many words have bringing a tear to my eye in tender feelings.

    They have make me wants to leap from my bunker and sing to the Zionist Colonialist controlled world of you, my beloved. Cupid has launched his Katushka of love and splatter me with the shrapnel of your beauty. Yes, I Love You Too, Cecilia Lucas, and I offer you too a poem:


    You were born in the Valley to a life in a suburban cage
    Encino, where mean girls and cheerleaders
    Drop bombs of hate on the unpopular girls
    Shy poetry club chicks like you
    With 1480 SATs and early admission to Berkeley
    Fed by the violence and lookism of the dance squad
    Raised in a four bedroom colonial
    They wouldn’t let you wear your Che T-shirt to prom
    But your heart and your armpit hair still grew proud and strong

    You scare me too
    Not just because you have that Code Pink Manson girl freak-vibe
    Not just because you repeat, repeat, repeat
    All those quotes from your dog-eared volumes of Chomsky
    and Zinn
    and Edward Said
    Begging me to understand
    Can’t we just hold each other
    Instead of talking, talking, talking
    About your Masters thesis?

    It scares me
    When I admit to myself
    When I look at you
    My mousy infidel grad student who can’t shut up
    That yeah, I’d hit that

    The other Jihadis laugh and scowl
    They repeat, repeat, repeat
    The story of Abdul and the nasty crab lice
    He picked up from the International ANSWER chick
    And how it itched like a mofo
    Until his martyrdom

    If only they took the time to see
    To look
    To sense
    The beauty of your mind
    Your fundraising potential
    To look beyond your face
    and realize your booty isn’t half bad
    And how you could maybe help organize a sleeper cell in Oakland

    But I don’t sleep much these days
    And I’ve tried hard
    But the thought of you, my beloved
    And the Zionist airstrikes
    Make me more jittery than chugging two liters of Jolt cola

    I am learning to have hope in you
    I am learning to see you as so much more
    I am thinking maybe you could shave those legs and wear this grocery sack
    If ever we make love

    You amaze me.
    Born in the suburbs
    Raised in a colonial
    You did not accept ROTC on Campus
    You did not accept the injustice of UC defunding the Young Maoist League
    You did not accept late homework submissions
    Of fratboy freshmen
    When you TA’d Critical Lit 1406

    I love you too
    But I will never be yours
    I’m a rebel
    A loner
    I’m bad news, baby
    And you don’t want me inside you
    Because once you go Omar, you’ll never go kuffar


    But we’ll resist together
    You and I, my beloved hippie cooch
    I will be your Jihadi Angel
    The Leader of Your Pack
    Turn me loose, turn me loose
    Like Fabian
    Like Bobby Vee
    Like Elvis himself
    I will croon my ballad of Zionist resistance
    To your screams of delight

    I had a dream that we met in Paradise
    as lovers
    as martyrs
    Me in a Tel Aviv pizza parlor
    You in the Encino mall

    What was it you were looking for
    That took your life that night?
    They said they found my semtex belt
    Clutched in your fingers tight.

    Burma Shave
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Rock Star From Mars

Democratic National Convention 2008 Agenda
7:00 PM Opening flag burning
7:15 PM Pledge of allegiance to the U.N.
7:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:30 - 8:00 PM Nonreligious prayer and worship led by Rev. Jesse Jackson & Rev. Al Sharpton
8:00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:05 PM Ceremonial tree hugging
8:15 - 8:30 PM Gay wedding with Barney Frank officiating
8:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:35 PM Free Saddam Rally led by Cindy Sheehan & Susan Sarandon
9:00 PM Keynote speech: "The Proper Etiquette for Surrender" by French President Jacques Chirac
9:15 PM John Kerry honors veterans before he makes a joke about them
9:20 PM Collection to benefit the Osama bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund
9:30 PM Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
9:40 PM Why I Hate the Military - a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton
9:45 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:50 PM Dan Rather presented the Truth in Broadcasting Award by Michael Moore
9:55 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:00 PM How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center by Howard "YeeHah" Dean
10:30 PM Nomination of Hillary Clinton by Mahmoud Ahmandinejad
11:00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 PM Al Gore reinvents the Internet
11:15 PM "Our Troops are War Criminals" - John Kerry
11:30 PM Coronation of Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton
12:00 AM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:05 AM Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

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This is only a preview of an ANIMATED image.

Please click on it to view the animated, larger version.

:cat: Saddam Hussein's cat:

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The Really Truly Hillary Gallery :laugh:
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SouthwestRanger
Desperately Seeking Clarity
[ *  *  *  * ]

• 7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning, (U.S., U.K. and Israeli flags will be in attendance.)
• 7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N. and the future "One World Government."
• 7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Back-up chants provided by the local Wiccan Organization.

• 7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging. A fake Oak tree will be provided.
• 7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 8:00 pm ~ A Speech given by Al Gore on "How I Invented the Internet." Expecting a possible run-over as the Goracle is expected to blend this with Global Warming.
• 8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning, Barney Frank presiding.
• 8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 8:40 pm ~ "Our Troops are War Criminals," speech given by John Kerry and Jane Fonda.
• 9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon will deliver the eulogies of these Heroic figures.
• 9:50 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 10:00 pm ~ 'Answering Machine Etiquette' by residing expert, Alec Baldwin.
• 10:20 pm ~ The New "Drive Thru Abortion Express Lanes," being installed at Planned Parenthood franchises across the nation. Cecile Richards speaking.
• 11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund to be sponsored by Barbara Streisand.
• 11:15 pm ~ "Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay" announcement by Sean Penn.
• 11:30 pm ~ "Oval Office Affairs. The proper use of cigars," brought to you by William Jefferson Clinton.
• 11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 11:50 pm ~ "How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers," by Howard Dean and Rosie O'Donnell. Dean will perform his trademark scream for the crowd.
• 12:15 am ~ 'Truth in Broadcasting Award' - Presented to Sir Dan Rather by Michael Moore will be simulcast from the Magical, Mystical World of Journalistic Knights.
• 12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud will briefly discuss the dhimmitudal role of the great satan.
• 12:45 am ~ Nomination of Barack Hussein Obama by Nancy Pelosi. Address will be fed live via satellite from Syrian President Assad's hot tub.
• 1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 1:05 am ~ Coronation of Barack Hussein Obama
• 1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
• 1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home. Billy reminds him to use the route through Chappaquiddick.




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Rock Star From Mars

I notice that Ted Kennedy proposes a toast once every 30 minutes or so though-out the whole affair. :laugh:

I enjoyed your list. Funny stuff.

• 1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home. Billy reminds him to use the route through Chappaquiddick.

Whoever wrote this list has no shame. :roll:
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SouthwestRanger
Desperately Seeking Clarity
[ *  *  *  * ]
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Aug 25 2008, 06:55 PM
I notice that Ted Kennedy proposes a toast once every 30 minutes or so though-out the whole affair. :laugh:

I enjoyed your list. Funny stuff.

• 1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home. Billy reminds him to use the route through Chappaquiddick.

Whoever wrote this list has no shame. :roll:

Thank You Thank You Very Much FD .... :band2:

Here's a Sneak Preview of the Day 2 Schedule....

7:00 pm - Special Video Feed from Iran with a Flag Burning

7:05 pm - Kim Il Jung will lead the Pledge of Total Loyalty. All those seen hesitating or mumbling the words will be taken and driven away to a special camp in Raton

7:10 pm - Natalie Maines and the Dixie Chicks will sing the National Anthem...Of Zimbabwe

7:15 pm - Special Video Tribute to the Late Texas Governor Anne Richard featuring footage of her in her German American Bund Ladies Auxilary Uniform from a 1939 Rally and photos of her totally drunk during Political Functions in Texas...


7:30 pm - A Special Video Feature :CHELSEA CLINTON'S BEAUTY SECRETS

7:31 pm - Jane Fonda pays tribute to Senator John McCain with North Vietnamese Films of him being tortured. Much hilarity from the assembly

7:40 pm - Alec Baldwin throws a screaming tantrum onstage when an Gofer mistakenly brings him a Western Omelette instead of a well done veggie burger with asparagus fries....Teresa Heinz Kerry follows suit when John Kerry tells her Business Suit looks like the one he saw at Steve and Barry's for $14.99 !

7:45 pm - A Monica Lewinsky look a like contest is staged with points awarded for most decorative beret and kneepads !
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Rock Star From Mars

Ah wait, I scrolled up the page - I had already posted the same list a few months ago. I thought it looked familiar...
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SouthwestRanger
Desperately Seeking Clarity
[ *  *  *  * ]
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Aug 26 2008, 09:17 PM
Ah wait, I scrolled up the page - I had already posted the same list a few months ago. I thought it looked familiar...

Whoops sorry about that ! :knock:
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Rock Star From Mars

Two items below.

ITEM ONE.
Obama Joke. Found elsewhere on the web:
  • Barack Obama, the Presidential Democratic Party candidate, is for banning all guns in America.

    He is considered by those who have dealt with him as a bit more than just a little self-righteous.

    At a recent rural elementary school assembly in EastTexas, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

    Then he said into the microphone, “Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.”

    Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud EastTexas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: “‘Well, dumb-*ss, stop clapping!”
ITEM TWO:

Little Red Hen
  • She called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'

    'Not I,' said the cow.

    'Not I,' said the duck.

    'Not I,' said the pig.

    'Not I,' said the goose.

    'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

    'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

    'Not I,' said the duck..

    'Out of my classification,' said the pig.

    'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.

    'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.

    'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

    At last it came time to bake the bread.

    'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.

    'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.

    'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.

    'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.

    'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.

    'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.

    She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.

    They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.
    But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'

    'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

    'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

    'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

    The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

    And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

    Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'

    'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.

    'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government
    regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'

    And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'

    But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

    Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

    EPILOGUE

    Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
    Hillary got $8 million for hers.
    That's $20 million for the memories from two
    people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that
    they couldn't remember anything.

    IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT??
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Mihoshi Marie
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to whom it may concern
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
That last one was brilliant - perfect description of Obama's wealth-spreading policy.
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Rock Star From Mars

Day Laborer Ad Video
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Rock Star From Mars

Two items below:

Item #1
Obama HOPE poster and copycats
-check out the one of Bill Clinton that has the word "Grope" in big letters under his image

Item #2
:roll:
Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog
-"Because There Is No POTUS Without TOTUS"


Below the funny spoof of the Obama image(*) (view spoof image) that was all over the place for a long while is this caption:
  • Reflections from the hard drive of the machine that enables the voice of the Leader of the Free World
Hee hee hee hee hee. That blog looks like the kind of stupid thing I would've come up with. Hee hee hee hee.
(*) I'm referring to the Obama "Hope" poster
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