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Put It Away Granny Madonna- editorial
Topic Started: Jan 7 2009, 10:31 PM (1,486 Views)
flea dip
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Rock Star From Mars

As much as I love the following headline and editorial, they are unfortunately setting up the scenario I've spelled out in threads such as Senior Citizen Sexiness.

For those feminists who have elected Madonna as the representative of female empowerment, they will counter such editorials by being all the more stubborn, digging in their heels, and insist that we should applaud Madonna for continuing to be a whore well into her senior years.

Then they'll begin arguing that all women age 50+ should be, act, and dress slutty - and that they should look to Madonna as a role model. I can see this template coming into place even now.

I assume that the author of this editorial is a woman, since the author's first name is "Polly," and that's typically a female name.

I mention this only because 99% of Madonna supporters insist that the only people who dog Madonna and run her down are old, fat, 50 or 60 year old men.

Put it away, granny Madonna - you're too old to be flashing your crotch
Quote:
 
By Polly Hudson
7/01/2009

We've seen it in videos, on stage, in a book, magazines and now an advert for Louis Vuitton.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold: the first sighting of Madonna's crotch of 2009. And somehow I'm guessing it won't be the last.

I wonder if there's ANYONE who'll be able to look at these legs-apart pictures without thinking: "Put it away, grandma!"

Madge has pulled her battered old fishnets on again for a series of ads dreamed up by Louis Vuitton's creative director Marc Jacobs.

He says he just blurted out, "I think we should do Madonna" in a meeting after seeing her crotch in concert the night before.

Marc then texted her to ask if she'd be up for it and she replied within five minutes saying: "I'd love to."

The six pictures were shot by Steven Meisel, who collaborated on Madonna's Sex book. And suddenly it all makes sense.

The artist formerly known as Mrs Ritchie famously doesn't allow newspapers in her house, so there's no point appealing to her directly here.

But if any of her friends (not you, Gwyneth) are reading this, I beg of you, have a word.

WE GET that she's in incredible shape for her age (361). OK, then, 50.

WE GET that she's really bendy and flexible.

So why does she have to go to such ridiculous lengths to remind us all the time?

It's starting to look desperate.

If she really wanted to, Madonna could shock the pants off us without revealing hers.

All she'd have to do is make some decent music for the first time in years.
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edge6678
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she just needs to go away with that horrible crotch flashing. Flea i just watched on fox news that madonna wants to sponsor and mentor her own daughter Lourdes to become the new " Madonna". What is the world coming to flea, why can't this woman just go away!
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Rock Star From Mars

For those of you who have wondered why, from time to time, an old thread with no new posts in it suddenly appears atop the forum, it's because I use the "bump" feature (available only to admins/moderators, I think), which drives a post to the top.

I do that every so often. A headline like this ("Put it away Granny Madonna!") is just too good to let it settle and stay at the bottom, buried under other board threads, so I like to bump these kinds of things to the top now and then.
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anshirk
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edge6678
Jan 8 2009, 10:45 PM
she just needs to go away with that horrible crotch flashing. Flea i just watched on fox news that madonna wants to sponsor and mentor her own daughter Lourdes to become the new " Madonna". What is the world coming to flea, why can't this woman just go away!

These kind of people live for so long to torment us with their disgusting habits!
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flea dip
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Oh, Madge! The bottom line is no woman over 50 should really be wearing fishnets
  • By Liz Jones

    PUBLISHED: 20:46 EST, 26 March 2012 | UPDATED: 06:11 EST, 27 March 2012

    Comments (179)
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    When Madonna wore fishnet stockings the first time around, it was 1990. Back then, she teamed them with a polka-dot jacket, black shorts, a bowler hat and a gamine crop. There was a huge dollop of attitude, too, and rather ballsy humour.

    I remember she grabbed her crotch onstage in those little shorts. She looked incredible.

    The outfit was not her idea, of course: she was mixing Marlene Dietrich with Liza Minnelli in Cabaret. She knew fishnets infer sadomasochism. They are slutty, especially if riddled with holes, and so segued nicely into her irreverent schtick.
    She had a dancer’s buttocks and thighs but, most importantly, she was only 32 years old. I remember my 32-year-old buttocks rather fondly: I enveloped them in tiny olive green Calvin Klein shorts and fishnet tights, topped off with a gold Katharine Hamnett waistcoat, and took them to a disco in Marbella.

    Fast forward 21 years, and my 53-year-old bottom now has the consistency of unrisen dough. I keep expecting Delia Smith to turn up at my house with a rolling pin, and dust me with flour. I’d no more wear my olive shorts these days than a snow-washed denim blouson.

    But here Madonna is again in fishnet tights. And even briefer satin shorts. She seems these days to be channelling Bette Davis, or some sad relic from the Eighties, what with the arm warmers and Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel fingerless gloves. The awful quiff reminds me of the redoubtable fashion critic Suzy Menkes.

    Now, I know these comments might be rather harsh, but so is growing old. It’s ghastly. I reckon I’ve had as much plastic surgery as Madonna appears to have had, an equally large vat of filler squished into my cheeks because the pads of fat that used to lurk there have migrated to my knees.

    But while our faces might still look freakishly young, it’s our bodies that betray us, no matter how many hours we’ve spent flat on our backs in a Pilates studio.

    I might be the same dress size I was aged 32, but that’s about all that has remained the same. My ankles are now riddled with blue veins. My earlobes are heading rather worryingly towards my shoulders.

    Note how Madge always wears those fingerless gloves: I’d wager she’s developing liver spots, or at least the skin on the back of her hands is now so thin she could read her reviews through it.

    I’m not saying women over 50 should stick to embroidered salmon twin sets and the M&S classics range, hiding behind great big bauble necklaces and shoulder pads.

    I still wear outfits I’ve owned since 1990: hipster trousers with mannish tailored jackets, baggy combat trousers, microscopic Prada T-shirts. Toe rings worn with Havaiana flip flops. My Gucci embellished boot-cut jeans.

    But there is an increasingly large pile of clothes destined for Oxfam, not the Oscars. Even though we children of the Fifties are so much better preserved than our mothers (and my mum didn’t have one single natural tooth in her head aged 49), there are still some garments that have a definite sell-by date.

    Ultra skinny jeans: just too gynaecologically explicit and thrombosis threatening. Anything pink, or with a bow. Sleeveless vests. I’m also thinking of giving up wearing platforms, as I’ve become increasingly worried about breaking my ankle and ending up on a mixed-sex geriatric ward.

    Shorts are a distant memory, along with 20-20 eyesight and getting out of a chair without a groan. In fact, I can no longer wear anything above the knee, as I now have Demi Moore-like knee wrinkles.

    Revealing my decolletage is tricky, too, as the jutting bones reveal me as not old, but long dead. And I’m one of the lucky ones. It’s far easier to grow old gracefully if your style has always been quite pared down, minimal and mannish, as mine has been: I always think the likes of Jo Wood, with her uniform of biker jackets and lots of black, can glide smoothly into senility pretty much unfettered.

    But if you have always favoured ra-ra skirts, prom dresses and Jean Paul Gaultier conical bras, you might want to plan a great big bonfire.

    Of course you can look fabulous over 50, but there is a crucial difference between being well groomed, a la Anne Robinson, and looking like a superannuated Barbie, a la Carol Vorderman, whose body-conscious Roland Mouret dress worn for a lunch with girlfriends was so tight we could see her kidneys, while a red-carpet gown worn at the National TV awards showed off way too much cleavage.

    It doesn’t matter if you are as toned and honed as Madonna: it’s simply not dignified to pull on an Herve Leger bandage mini dress just because you can.

    Julianne Moore might be a goddess, but I don’t want to see her upper arms or stomach (I found the sex scene in The Kids Are Alright gut churning, given I saw it with a boyfriend. I had never let him see my fifty-something rump in broad daylight, and here he was getting it writ large, across a 100ft screen).

    Past 50, it is all about choosing classic shapes that fit well, and exposing as little flesh as possible. Too much anything — fake eyelashes, fake tan, sequins, satin and flesh — only accentuates your slide into antiquity.

    ....I think being a fashion victim over 50, caring too much about trends and colours and hem-lines and whether men notice you or not, reveals something way more horrifying than crepey skin or a stomach with the consistency of cold porridge.

    It shows that there is a yawning cavern in your soul where something more meaningful should be, such as, ooh, I don’t know, a family, or love, or even gardening.

    I find it a bit sad when I go to the shows in Paris, as I did earlier this month, and see women in their 60s shedding tears over a peplum skirt. An older woman in head-to-toe crazy, clashing printed pyjamas just looks as though she has escaped from her carer.

    For a 53-year-old woman to play the fashionable sex kitten is a bit sad, to be honest.

    I’m embarrassed for Madonna — she is letting the side down. Memo to the postmenopausal: forget the fashion mantra of only exposing one erogenous zone at a time. After 50 you have no erogenous zones. Accept it. Move on. Cover up.
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Rock Star From Mars

Edit. A new link was added to this post (below)

And here we are about five years later. Really, scroll up to the first post in this thread to see that editorial, similar to the one below, was written in 2009.

Posing in your underwear? Madonna, we’ve seen it all before
  • Judith Woods begs the legend who once re-invented sex to button up her cardie

    Judith Woods By Judith Woods7:13PM GMT 02 Dec 2014

    Mummy, who’s that woman in the paper with the funny apron on? Why does she look so cross? I think, darling, she looks so cross because you called her “that woman” instead of The Most Influential And Hottest Female Artist on the Planet. Like, ever.

    She’s probably also cross because those aren’t apron strings but an integral part of her Fabulously Provocative New Look that she hopes will seize back all the attention from Beyonce’s booty and J Lo’s writhing and the entire Kardashian kollective.

    Now that’s settled, it’s time to discuss whether Madonna, who re-invented sex back in the day, really ought to be still pedalling her wares quite so publicly at the age of 56.

    The PG-rated pictures show her in underwear with her golden globes upfront as Nell Gwynn carrying a trayful of oranges into Charles II’s bedchamber.

    The adults-only photos are, ahem, adults-only; there’s a designer gimp mask and a PVC dress the colour of Germolene, and she’s sprawled on the counterpane without taking her S&M heels off – very naughty.

    Worse, in one shot she’s smoking! I winced at the fully-clad pose in pop socks, but overall it’s the images of her bare breasts that are most troubling. Should she? Shouldn’t she?

    And, you know, I think she shouldn’t. Not because at 50 she’s past it – she isn’t. Not because her décolletage isn’t attractive – it is.

    She should put them away because taking them out (again) smacks of the posturing of an ingenue.

    She’s a multi-Grammy winner, with 13 albums, record sales in excess of 300 million and four children. A generation of new pretenders is no doubt giving Madonna pause.

    Yes, she wants to mark her territory, but stripping off is not necessarily the answer.

    Take Lady Gaga. She may not have Madonna’s epic musicality, but her Busby Berkeley-meets-Silence of the Lambs dress sense always causes a stir. By comparison, Madonna’s mask looks derivative.

    She ought to play to her strengths, and a sense of humour has never been one of them. A workaholic, she appears to pause only to practice yoga, adopt children and eat macrobiotic beetroot.

    These pictures have got us talking, but will that lead people to buy her new release? At this stage of her career it would be more dignified to take on a grande dame role of mentor and pillar of the community.

    Of course sex sells.

    But there’s a difference between beguiling Greta Garbo sex and in-yer-face TOWIE sex. There’s no shortage of older women showing that age is no bar to allure: Yasmin le Bon is ravishing at 50 and Helen Mirren sizzles at 69.

    I should have thought Madonna’s publicity shots would mirror her musical evolution instead of harking back to her nudity phase.

    And am I alone in thinking she looked loveliest in her Marilyn homage video of Material Girl? When she wore that pink gown and her male dancers had black ties instead of naked thighs?

    I probably am. But the unpalatable truth is that we’ve all been so exposed to her cleavage that ennui has set in.

    One of the wisdoms of ageing is restraint.

    Just ask les femmes d’un certain âge across la Manche, where elegant underpinnings are thought more seductive than flesh. Catherine Deneuve is 71, Isabelle Huppert 61; they ooze bien dans sa peau sexiness.

    The essence of being a musical legend is that you needn’t try too hard – unless you are Cher in nipple tassles, which are part of her legend. So, Madonna, stub out that cigarette and button up your cardie, you are a legend. And with all legends, less is more.
Andrea Smith: 'Put it away Madonna - your topless photos scream new levels of desperation'
  • Andrea Smith Twitter
    PUBLISHED
    02/12/2014 | 13:04

    Ah Madonna, the time has truly come to put it away, love - we’re kind of over you.

    Not just you, mind, as we’ve had more than our fair share of celebrity boob, bum and vagina images seared into our eyeballs of late, but we expected better from the greatest female pop icon of our times.

    Seeing La Ciccone posing topless at 56 for US magazine Interview was deeply depressing, as she cavorted in a series of provocative shots that saw her wearing corset underwear, a negligee pulled down to her waist and an open pink cardigan. Why she did it was the mystery? Any media outlet would kill for an exclusive Madonna interview and shoot of any description, so this was not some struggling young artist bowing to the wishes of a magazine, in the hope that the exposure (in every sense of the word) might help her to further her career.

    So, I can only conclude that unless he hypnotised her into doing it, which is unlikely, Madge deliberately elected to get her kit off to accompany the interview with American magician, David Blaine. Just as she chose to do it in her erotic book Sex in 1992 and her 1993 film, Body of Evidence

    It’s not the fact that she bared her boobs at 56 that irks me, as she looks sensational in the photos. Women’s bodies are beautiful at all ages, and you only have to look at Helen Mirren looking sensational in that bikini shot to see that. I just think that it’s inappropriate for a mother of four children to pose in such a sexually provocative way. I’m not being po-faced and sexist here, as I think it would be just as inappropriate if it was a father getting his kit off, but let’s face it, that rarely, if ever, happens.

    I can imagine Madonna’s daughters Lourdes, 18, and Mercy, 8, and her sons, Rocco, 14, and David, 9, in particular, getting some stick from their friends. I interviewed the beautiful Rosanna Davison about her Playboy shoot a while ago, and she laughingly recalled how that her brother was mortified as his mates kept texting him pictures of her. It was only her brother and he is an adult, but in Madonna’s case, her teenage children are surrounded by hormonal peers. Surely it’s unfair to subject them to possible taunts and hurtful comments, and the embarrassment of knowing that your friends have possibly been aroused at the sight of your mother’s breasts, just to further your “art"?

    At 46, I’d be the least ageist person in the world, as I firmly believe that people get far more interesting as they grow older. It drives me mad that we practically write people off when they hit 40, just as they are really coming into themselves and have so much to offer. And this is especially true in the entertainment world, where sex sells and people will practically change their actual face to stay employed - Renee Zellweger, I’m looking at you.

    Isn’t it time we started to grow up and embrace what people have to offer as human beings with real insights and experiences to share, rather than simply gazing upon their naked flesh?

    According to Blaine's interview, “With a 13th studio album due out in 2015, Madonna is reaching a new level of artistry, creativity, and, perhaps, identity. Even as she reimagines herself yet again, she remains a masterpiece.''

    It strikes me that what she is actually reaching is a new level of desperation. With twerking, gyrating pop kittens like Miley Cyrus garnering all the headlines, perhaps Madonna feels that she has to pull out the stops to stay relevant, even if means trussing herself up in the old PVC gear. Hell, at a time when even Kim Kardashian’s arse is practically in the running for a Best Actress Oscar, throwing away your conical bra and displaying your nipples to the world seems like a logical step.

    Sadly, the Material Girl's actions will leave the upcoming generation of starlets in no doubt that in order to get ahead, they must get it all out for the lads. After all, if the most successful, experienced and powerful woman in the music industry feels that she has to bare all to be noticed, this is clearly the way forward. I’m not her Papa, but I sure would like to preach to her that it truly smacks of desperation.
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Realist84
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I love that there is a growing number of people that are fed up and tired of Madonna's old almost 30-year-old charade of showing her body to "make a statement"...
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Julia Griggs
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Sadly, Madge doesn't just look old ... it looks like she's literally struggling to breathe & stay alive.

I can only SMH in pity as her drooling fanbois on IMDB squeal that another great new era is coming ...
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Realist84
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She hasn't had an "era" since Ray of Light lol
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