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| Trapped in anime; アニメの中に閉じ込め Anime no naka ni tojikome | |
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| Topic Started: May 15, 2014, 6:30 pm (3,881 Views) | |
| Shigitou burikaa | June 22, 2014, 9:08 am Post #151 |
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give me a reason to care once more. new mod for the grt. -in sachiko I trust-
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Just refer to me as my own username. And i look forward to your fic! |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.![]() . ~ポケウォーズ9000™ i am servent to no one. I'm married to nana!
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| Yoshie Shinozaki | June 22, 2014, 8:15 pm Post #152 |
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The First Victim
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If everyone else hasn't said it enough, I will. This was an awesome story, I'm glad I read it from beginning to end. I'm really happy you were able to put up such an imaginative scenarios and each chapter flowed very well. I'm proud of you, man and I hope we can see more work from you. (I really like the idea of writing a story, featuring some of the forum members) Once again, good job!(now I just have to push myself to either continue my own story or start a new one) |
| "I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica. | |
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| Shigitou burikaa | June 22, 2014, 8:42 pm Post #153 |
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give me a reason to care once more. new mod for the grt. -in sachiko I trust-
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Thank you all for enjoying it, and I think you totally should continue with your story yoshie I read it and it was pretty good. I didn't want to comment on the topic because it would ruin the flow.... Well wait... I just found out that I'm stupid. Overall I found your story to be great, and I expect to see phantoms fic as well. As for the forum story, I'm thinking of making it about like "we need to win a certain game or else we die" or something like that, it will take me a long time to figure out, please if you may, give me an idea about it and I will go from there Thank you, and bless all of your faces |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.![]() . ~ポケウォーズ9000™ i am servent to no one. I'm married to nana!
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| Shigitou burikaa | July 13, 2014, 9:45 pm Post #154 |
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give me a reason to care once more. new mod for the grt. -in sachiko I trust-
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I am thinking of giving this one last chapter, I call it the lost chapter of corpse party: Kyle and Jessica Perspective of Jessica Deep in the underground bomb shelter, "Uh, *cough cough* where?... Oh, this place. Gee, why am I in an underground area, and why was I in the hallway? *sigh* I need to find Kyle." I said I started walking then I heard a scream, a familiar scream. EAAAAAAAAGHHHHH -get away... AAAAAAAAH!- "Ah! Hang on there, I'm coming" I shouted and then ran in the voices direction. I arrived, but i wasn't amused, because it was Ashton. His entire body covered in the black smoke, darkening I believe it's called. It wasn't long at all before his entire body faded away completely, leaving just his name-tag. "*hick sob* wh why.. Ashton." I said about ready to cry "Jessi.. ca.." A voice and footsteps came from behind me "Who? Who is there?" I asked "Hehe, come here my darling." The voice got lower as if the person was walking away. I walked near the voice, until a light emitted inside the darkness, and I started to walk uncontrollably towards it, if I wanted to stop, I couldn't. The light then grew stronger and then lit up the entire area, and when there was light, I saw Kyle. "Kyle! Are you ok?" I asked "Heh, hehe, I'm glad I could find you, my little birdie. I got really lonely when you weren't here, so I asked sachiko if I can have your souls!" Kyle said "Wha! What! You asked someone to kill us, so you can have our souls for company? Your sick!" I said "I.. I'm sick? No, I am not sick... It's the school Jess! Why don't you just take this torch, and you'll know what I'm talking about." Kyle said trying to give me the torch. I saw him, his face was blood stained, his eyes were blood shot, his blue orb necklass is now blood red, he has chunks of flesh in his hair and his shot gun looked like it had been through hell. "Stay away from me!" I yelled " oh.. But Jessica, don't ruin the fun. After all the party has just begun! HAHAHAHAHAHaaaaaa!" Kyle shouted as he then grabbed me with a lot of strength, he raised his torch and then moved the flame at my eyes. I could see something in the flame and it was about a little girl in blue running away, Kyle running after her and then a spirit takes down him and stabs him repeatedly in the chest. When the spirit left, a black mist forms around him and gets absorbed into his torch and blue orb. I guess the red orb is his life, because he got up and started running straight. After all that I blacked out, only hearing screams .. ... End |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.![]() . ~ポケウォーズ9000™ i am servent to no one. I'm married to nana!
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| Shigitou burikaa | September 30, 2014, 3:08 pm Post #155 |
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give me a reason to care once more. new mod for the grt. -in sachiko I trust-
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Hi.. Well, I bet you guys have seen this story before and thought "isn't this topic dead?". It appears that I totally fail at my grammar and felt the need to look into my stories. The first one I will look at is gonna be this one, trapped in anime, but I need help. As you may have seen, TiA is a long story with long chapters. One of the many reasons I didn't want to do a grammar check is because this story is too freaking long. So I am in need of some help. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.![]() . ~ポケウォーズ9000™ i am servent to no one. I'm married to nana!
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | September 30, 2014, 3:14 pm Post #156 |
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The Hero of Another Story
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Uh, what did you need? A grammar lesson, or for someone to go through them and check the grammar? |
![]() ![]() ![]() “I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!” Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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| Shigitou burikaa | September 30, 2014, 3:16 pm Post #157 |
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give me a reason to care once more. new mod for the grt. -in sachiko I trust-
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I was thinking that we can go around and correct the grammar mistakes. I don't want someone to do it alone. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.![]() . ~ポケウォーズ9000™ i am servent to no one. I'm married to nana!
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| L3Z4 | September 30, 2014, 3:28 pm Post #158 |
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Well... I think I could help you with some grammar mistakes while I read your story... But keep in mind that I won't able to correct everything, mainly because my grammar is not that good. |
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| Shigitou burikaa | September 30, 2014, 3:34 pm Post #159 |
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give me a reason to care once more. new mod for the grt. -in sachiko I trust-
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Ok. |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.![]() . ~ポケウォーズ9000™ i am servent to no one. I'm married to nana!
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | September 30, 2014, 3:34 pm Post #160 |
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The Hero of Another Story
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Here, I did some quick editing. There may be some errors I overlooked, though. I also added some suggestions for next time you write. Chapter 1: Hetalia
Edited by Yoshiki Kishinuma, September 30, 2014, 3:35 pm.
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![]() ![]() ![]() “I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!” Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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Yoshiki Kishinuma

3:11 AM Jul 11