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| Venting Topic | |
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| Topic Started: August 18, 2012, 11:26 pm (17,063 Views) | |
| superdubes | December 31, 2012, 6:07 pm Post #101 |
The horror.
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This month and a half without a car has forced me to remember how lonely and boring I am. I have no friends outside the Internet and no one would miss me if I were gone. This'll probably be my last post on the forums. Happy 2013 everyone. I know I won't have one. |
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| Ist Kisaragi | December 31, 2012, 6:44 pm Post #102 |
The Void Walker
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Dubes, man! Don't leave please! Your an awesome person! You've got my support, and I want to tell ya, that you are an awesome artist, with your drawings being cool and sometimes hilarious. Not to mention your interesting stories you think up, alongside the work you provide! Your amazing with manga colourings! You are to me, one of kind person on these forums! Don't let your skills at colouring, story writting and drawing be wasted away. But if leaving this forum is your dicision, then... I wish you luck, and may your live only as time passes. Godspeed to you, superdubes. |
| Whether by Windblast or by choke hold, whether by the steel of my Folding Blade or the swiftness of Blink, whether by Possession or by the power of thine Pistol, none shall evade either my Wrath, or my Mercy. For the Outsider gazes from his Void, the fate of all, are in the hands of those, marked by him. | |
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| Apollomatic | December 31, 2012, 9:25 pm Post #103 |
The Hermit.
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....So, Venting topic....We meet again. First off...My feelings. I feel empty and incapable of love, Or, so It would seem. But i'd rather have it this way, I don't wish to get hurt again. I don't know what's gotten into me and how this happened. I feel like I'm losing grasp of what's happening in my life and it feels so empty. Another day passes by and I don't seem to be able to care about anything anymore. I hate it. It's that sort of depression that feels like you're losing your sanity. I can't take it. It feels like no one cares but I know they do. I have no reason to really try anymore. I feel odd. I keep playing and reading these horror Games and creepypastas and I can't sleep at night sometimes. I need to stop. I haven't really slept all that much in over 3 weeks. It feels like something is watching me all the time and is following me around. I think my house is haunted. One time I looked upstairs (the upstairs door was open) and I saw an apparition walk into the 2nd room upstairs. One night I woke up, Looked into the dining room (my room is by the kitchen if you sit up in the bed you can see all the way into the living room) I saw something hanging. I sat back down, At that moment I processed what I had just seen and sat back up. Nothing. Another night I was on the computer as usual (in the dining room) and the upstairs door is beside the computer. As soon as the clock strikes 1:00 AM I hear something hit the door. I check and nothing had even fell from upstairs to even hit the door. Another night I was in the living room watching TV. I was laying on my bed on the DVD was over so I decide to go over to the tv and put it away. As I walk over I look into the dining room and see the upper torso of this little girl floating in the air. it disappeared after a few seconds. I found out a few days later that two elderly people died in my house. Creepy, Isn't it? |
  “A fine line separates the weary recluse from the fearful hermit. Finer still is the line between hermit and bitter misanthrope.” | |
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| superdubes | January 1, 2013, 1:30 am Post #104 |
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The horror.
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@psp-ist I meant to say that I won't be posting anything for a while and not that I'll never post again. I was using my phone to type and I hate typing with my phone. I'm just in a really bad place right now. @Nahomatic I feel your pain. I'm a 25 year old forever alone that feels like I'll never meet anyone. I'm fat, talentless, smelly, and a generally unpleasant human being. That's how I see myself, even though family members always try to tell me I'm wrong... I don't see it in myself. When it comes to seeing things I do all the time as well. You just have to remember that it's your imagination and nothing is really there. There is no scientific evidence for spirits. This coming from a guy that used to watch Ghost Hunters all the time. I'd love for paranormal stuff to be real, but it isn't. Just remember that and you should be fine. Other than that you just have to try to see the good in yourself. We all truly want love even if we don't want to admit it to ourselves. I'm not so dumb to not realize that about myself, but it doesn't mean that it is that easy to fix. |
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| DeathkaiserG | January 1, 2013, 2:10 am Post #105 |
Faraway Black Jewel
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it's actually the same for me...except for the 25 year old part, im just 21 years old... you're not the only one who experience life like that... mines, almost the same.. no love in life i say..i get my love dosage on mangas then after reading i feel empty..cause i dont have to call of my own. my view of love is very like a knight in a white horse. i want someone, not family but a stranger to love me for who i am. but who will love such a horrifying thing. im graduating this march and i dont know what will happen after...should i get a job? pursue an another course? i dont know cause. i didnt actually study to learn. i study to pass. there is a huge difference between those two. im kinda pathless today but i dont seem to care that much. great! now i manage to depress myself again 
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 "It is way easier to sneak past a dead person." -- Killian (Killian Experience) | |
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | January 1, 2013, 5:54 pm Post #106 |
The Hero of Another Story
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Been depressed, feel alone, and really stressed out from all the moving and drama going on in my life. This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a more exciting life. I don't care about anything anymore. It's hard to accept positive feedback without feeling like someone's lying to me. I feel so sad and pathetic it isn't funny. I felt like taking any measures to stop feeling like this. I feel like if I made a friend, they'd leave me. A while ago, I told my friend about my depression. I told them I might leave deviantart, and they said "Fine, I'll just unadd you." We only knew online, and she was acting like a jerk and abusing me way before then. I too, feel like I can't make any friends off the internet. I have a whole different personality online, and feel like I'm living a lie. Just to make sure you know, I've never lied to you guys about anything. I just feel like when I'm talking online, I'm a different person. I also have a confession myself to make, when I can. The internet is my home, which just makes me feel kind of pathetic. I don't go out often, and like diabolic, I'm considering leaving the site. Not because it's a bad community, but because of my own selfish attitude. I'm sorry. Edited by Yoshiki Kishinuma, January 1, 2013, 6:12 pm.
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  “I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!”  Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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| Apollomatic | January 1, 2013, 7:44 pm Post #107 |
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The Hermit.
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*sigh* Yoshiki, I know how you feel. I feel as, If I died right now, No one would care. It's like I'm just a shell. Sure, It doesn't look like I am when I'm with friends but, That's just a front. I Have a friend that understands what I'm going through and tries to help me. Everyone else seems to just push me down and kick me in the ribs. (not literally, Figuratively.) I feel all alone. I spend almost all of my time alone, Watching Some youtube Videos, reading Love Mangas and watching Love animes, Hoping It'll happen to me someday but I know it won't. I want it to end. It just won't seem to stop and it feels as If I'm a cloud of nothingness, Roaming forever in a hallowed world of broken dreams. Nothing ever goes my way. I'm afraid of love now. I'll just get hurt again. It happened 4 months ago. When we broke up. When I snapped and turned into a mush. It feels horrible inside. To be honest. I just can't take it anymore. |
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“A fine line separates the weary recluse from the fearful hermit. Finer still is the line between hermit and bitter misanthrope.” | |
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | January 1, 2013, 9:56 pm Post #108 |
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The Hero of Another Story
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I really wish the pain would stop, too. I've considered death as an option, but it's just not worth it for me yet. I hope I can get out into the clear soon. It's really the feeling of abandonment that gets to me. That friend in my other post, that monster. Also talked about me being a jerk, moron, etc. On their blog, and probably other websites. I'd read their blog before, and some of the things they'd said made it seem like she was one of those spoiled teenagers who think they can spit on someone whenever they want. You know what? I don't even care about that anymore. Because I know I'm not that sick, and they are. I know I'm smarter than them. But it feels like that's just a lie I'm telling myself to feel better. Just don't kill yourself, bro. I know you want to. But here's something someone told me. "Pain only lasts for awhile, death lasts forever." Edited by Yoshiki Kishinuma, January 1, 2013, 9:58 pm.
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“I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!” Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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| Apollomatic | January 1, 2013, 10:33 pm Post #109 |
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The Hermit.
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I know better than to resort to such thing. I know there will be a way out.... Eventually. until then all you can do is try to find a path out of the darkness. A silver lining, In a way. Remember, You always have us as online friends so, Don't worry too much about her. She was probably some spoiled brat, Amirite? |
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“A fine line separates the weary recluse from the fearful hermit. Finer still is the line between hermit and bitter misanthrope.” | |
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | January 2, 2013, 1:02 pm Post #110 |
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The Hero of Another Story
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Pretty sure. |
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“I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!” Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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