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| Venting Topic | |
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| Topic Started: August 18, 2012, 11:26 pm (17,057 Views) | |
| Diabolic | February 6, 2013, 2:54 pm Post #161 |
When you and your girl weren't ready for what happened next.
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Once again everyone, thank you so much for the well wishes, I'm thankful to say that I'm like 90 percent healed. Mayu, please don't feel guilty about posting here after reading my little episode, it isn't a contest. -hugs- And thank you for the offer to do my chores for me, but I'd feel pretty lame having a nice girl like yourself running around on my behalf  Waah, you poor thing, I'm honestly not even sure what to say. I don't think I qualify to really give advice for this sort of thing (I honestly have the same issue when it comes to verbal arguments, and I admit I compensate for it by being able to fight physically), but I do think it's better to let stuff out instead of just milling it over in your head. Don't hate the way you are, heck, we all love ya for it! You're kind, considerate, and really fun to talk to. The world NEEDS more people like you, you gotta remember that! I understand not rocking the boat, at least, don't go convincing yourself that there's something wrong with you because you just kind of nod and smile without putting up much of a fight. And don't beat yourself up for not really having it in you to voice your frustrations. (Of course, it's better if you do voice them, but it's not something you need to change overnight or anything like that.) Don't go risking your health over stressing, now. A lot of people don't like upsetting the balance, I'm not saying that to make it seem like 'oh, everyone goes through this' or anything like that (because that doesn't make it any less serious or upsetting for anyone in your situation), that would just be plain old insensitive of me. But heck, I was the same way until I hit 19, and I'll admit there was some stuff that I probably needed to vent about back then. Ahh...I really have no idea what to say, here, but thankfully I'm not the only one you can talk to (You're more than welcome to talk to me, of course, I just really suck at advice and talking things out sometimes). No one here, like you said, would DARE take advantage of you or try to make you feel bad. And I wouldn't be surprised if after talking things out with someone here, you'd feel a bit better, I hope. The purpose of this topic is to vent things out that you probably wouldn't dare say IRL, to be honest, I haven't said anything about my stabbing on facebook or even to most of my family and friends...and I prefer to keep it that way now that it's all said and done with. All I can say is please don't feel bad~ :3 Here's a funny story to cheer you up; That whole thing with the creepy guy following you around? That actually happened to a friend of mine, and she...well...if that ever happens again, do what she did. Walk up to him...and kick. Him. In. The. Nuts. She dead up did that one day, and I almost wet myself laughing. It was like this; we were all out hanging out at the mall, and we notice this dude from our college staring at her. We knew who he was because this was a constant thing with this guy, and we all just kind of shrugged it off. Now her fiancee obviously didn't take to kindly to this, so I was holding him back to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Now my friend, who's on the small side like yourself, walks up to the guy to (what I assumed was) curse him out. Next second? WHAP! And he was on the ground, THEN she cursed him out (But you don't have to do that, my friend honestly scares me sometimes), and I pretty much fell over and damn near had to be carried out I was laughing so hard. Ehh, I dunno if that helps at all, and I'm sorry if I somehow missed the entire point or said something to upset you at all. But no one wants to see ya upset, so we're all here to help you out and talk with you if you want it -hugs- |
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A tumblr? What's that? Can I eat it? Would you leave your lives to chance? What if I told you...you didn't have a choice? Swiggity Swag, Akihiko's in the bag! Have y'all seen my business card yet?
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| strwbry | February 6, 2013, 7:16 pm Post #162 |
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Best Friend
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*hugs Mayu* I don't really know what to say... And I don't think there's really any good advice in this situation at all. Will just a hug and an offer to listen to you vent more be okay instead? |
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | February 6, 2013, 7:20 pm Post #163 |
The Hero of Another Story
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I just want to say. That I'm always there to talk to you if you need it. Like you'd be there for me. I don't care what the problem is, I'll be there. And I won't judge, at all. I'll be here always! And that goes out to all of you. |
  “I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!”  Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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| Ajogamer | February 10, 2013, 2:46 am Post #164 |
 
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Man, that does sound like a pretty tough situation. unfortunately, I'm not all that great at offering words of comfort, though you've also got my support. I can also kind of relate, since I've got a dad somewhat similar to yours. He's generally pretty nice and caring, though he doesn't always deal with his emotions the best and often holds them in, so as a result, he can often be more stressed after work which can make him more volatile, then prone to argue or criticize the rest of us over mostly trivial things and then proceed to blow them out of proportion. He's also rather stubborn, and can sometimes get so caught on making his point that he's tough to argue with when he gets worked up as well; Sometimes, I find handling the argument slowly, by showing that I acknowledge and understand his point, and then proceeding to explain my point in a calm, more logical way ends up working, though it kinda depends on what's being argued as well. When he's being more nit-picky, or is picking on faults that he's kinda correct about, but blowing out of proportion, then I find it's usually best to just walk away and avoid him for the time being, and to try to remember that a large part of the reason he's being that way is simply due to the stress and worry; that doesn't exactly excuse the way he's handling things, of course, though it does make it easier for me to feel a little less mad and bothered. I realize it's not always easy to just let it go though, since I'm also a bit like you in the fact that a lot of unexpected criticism and negativity from someone (particularly someone I know and care about) can really cause me to be stressed for awhile afterwards; I sometimes have trouble simply walking away due to that, since I feel like I want to resolve things before moving on, though unless I have a bit of a plan on how to handle things in order to reach that resolution, that usually just winds up making us both more stressed, so I've learned that it's often better to just try and reconcile things a bit later, once everyone's calmed down a bit, and hopefully had some time to think things over. Now, I'm not sure I can offer much far as advice goes, especially when I only have a limited view of the situation, though I guess the main thing I'd say would be to try and remember that not apologizing doesn't necessarily mean that you're being rude or inconsiderate. As you've realized, apologizing for something that isn't your fault is generally going to make you feel kinda bad afterwards, and it doesn't really fix the situation, so it's probably best to avoid that, if possible. What you should do instead kinda depends both on the situation, and how capable you feel of engaging the other person. If you feel capable enough that you can provide a bit of a counterargument, then you could try doing so, though if that seems too difficult, or if the other person seems like they want to argue, then you'd probably be better just avoiding the argument, and either ignoring the other person, or finding a way to excuse yourself. Now, if you do try to engage the other person in an argument, one thing I'd say to keep in mind is that disagreements don't have to be filled with shouting and confrontation; Some people feel that the way to handle an argument is to overpower the other person and pile on a bunch of reasons their point is more correct, though personally, I feel that's almost always a bad way to go about it. At their core, many arguments are about disagreements or a lack of mutual understanding, so I think it's better to try and focus on how you can get the other person to understand you; if you can do that, then you may be able to diffuse the situation, even if you don't ultimately see completely eye to eye. This may be a bit of an odd comparison, but it's actually a bit like that sequence Book of Shadows spoiler you can try and immediately deal with the direct problem, which may be tougher, or you could first try and calm down those involved, which may take a bit more time, but can also make dealing with the rest of the situation easier if it works.The first thing to do would probably be to take a moment in order to calm yourself down, and analyze the situation a bit; if you can figure out why the other person's arguing, you'll know how to address their concerns. After doing so for a little, you'll hopefully have a bit of an idea why they're arguing as they are; if you don't, you could possibly ask them some questions to try and figure it out. Once you have some idea on what their reasoning is, it'd be good to show that you understand their reasoning, and get where they're coming from. When people are arguing, it's pretty easy to simply focus on the arguing, though the problem with that is that both people will likely be feeling rather defensive, and less willing to listen. If you can address their concerns and let them know that you understand them; whether you agree with them or not, that'll hopefully calm them down a little, which will likely make it so they're more receptive and willing to listen to whatever you have to say. That's why when things get heated, I think it's best to focus on calming both yourself and the other person down a little before giving a counterargument. If I were to sum it up, I guess it'd be like this: 1. Take a step back to calm yourself down, and hopefully analyze the situation a bit more logically. 2. Try and figure out what the other person's disagreement is. 3. Show that you understand the other person's viewpoint, and get where they're coming from; if you DON'T get their viewpoint, you could ask some questions in a non-confrontational way to get a clearer understanding. 4. Explain your viewpoint, (if possible, in a non-confrontational way) and hopefully the other person will understand where you're coming from. Of course, all of this is MUCH easier said than done; not only does this sort of thing require a lot of practice, but I also know that I personally have a lot of difficulty sticking to my own advice in the heat of the moment. The main point though is that a good way to handle confrontations is often to be non-confrontational, while still holding your ground. How well this sort of thing works also depends a bit on the argument; for instance, this probably works better when the result of the argument truly is due to a disagreement; If the person's simply arguing cause they want to nitpick or vent, there may not be much you can do aside from trying to call them out on it, or to ignore them and try to avoid the argument. Hmm... after re-reading this, I kind of wonder how much of this will really be applicable to your situation. I guess I should follow it up by saying that you really don't need to engage your dad when he starts up an argument, and depending on the situation, that may even be the best way to handle it. Even if you have no easy way to excuse yourself from the situation, simply saying nothing, or saying something simple, like "I'm not really sure what to say to that" might be better than apologizing; It kind of depends on the person you're dealing with and how quickly you can distance yourself though, since on one hand, you'd probably feel better if you don't apologize for things that aren't your fault, but on the other hand, you don't know how the other person will react to not getting much response; some would take it as a sign that they may be acting out of line, while others may simply see it as if their being ignored; it's probably good to consider the situation first, or to even try a couple different methods. Regardless of how you ultimately handle things though, it's probably good not to just hold in all your emotions, or at least, not to do so after it's done with. You can always vent in this thread, for instance; that is what it was made for, after all! There are also multiple here on these forums who are happy to listen, if you'd rather not have it all out in the open. Also, I totally agree with Diabolic that you shouldn't beat yourself up over it either. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, though even those weaknesses can be improved so long as you're willing to work at it, and besides, it really doesn't look like you're the one at fault here. All that aside though, confrontations and arguments are generally tough to deal with; they can even be fairly stressful for those who know how to handle them well. |
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| Yoshiki Kishinuma | February 10, 2013, 6:29 am Post #165 |
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The Hero of Another Story
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So.. Ahem. I'd like to say a few words, myself. Life is unfair. I get that now. I used to be completely confused on what the saying meant, but now I'm completely confused when people don't get it. Life throws you curve-balls. And instead of learning from it, I end up yelling at the curve-ball and throw it back. I've had so much I need to do lately, it's frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I want to do each of the things I've needed to do. But I'm afraid that I'm either supposed to do it perfect, or not at all. I feel a huge weight on my stomach. I feel like if I fail, I let everyone down. Everyone will be disappointed, or not trust me to work with them on any projects anymore. It makes me sad  Because I still want to work on these type of things for people, but if I don't get them done, no one will ask for any of my help, will they?I have a question, do you guys like any of the things I make? To be honest, do you even want me to make anything else? All my life, I haven't been able to accept positive feedback. I always think people are just trying to make me feel better, or just don't want to hurt my feelings. Urgh... /ends rant/ |
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“I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!” Yoshiki Kishinuma | |
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| superdubes | February 10, 2013, 7:12 am Post #166 |
The horror.
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I'm going to be honest when I say this. I really haven't seen any of the stuff you've made. I've been far too busy with other things to look at everything on the forum. It's also the reason I've had to delay recording the first part of my LP until either later today or tomorrow. That said, I did see your "translation" of that Blood Covered page. It was pretty funny. It was also nice to see someone, other than myself, do that. If you enjoy creating things whether it's writing, drawing, or anything else just do it for yourself. Damn what anyone else thinks about it. When I draw, I do it because I love to draw. When I write, I do it because I love to write. When I make a stupid 5 second video, I post it to Youtube because I can. Don't let the negative thoughts bring you down. I know this from personal experience on this site. My drawings are horrible, and mostly ignored when I post them. Then, one of the times I posted in the Broken Telephone game something was said that made me stop drawing altogether for a couple of weeks. I'm sure you could meticulously read all of the games I was a part of and not see it, but it did have a profoundly negative effect on me. To the point where every time I tried to start "creating" I would get a physical pain in both my gut and my head. In the end I got my story I posted because of the place that my mind was stuck in. On a final note, don't worry about being "perfect." No one person's style of writing is perfect. It's the imperfections that give us all our own style, or flavor, of writing. If we all were perfect writers then there would be no difference between a book like "50 Shades of Gray" and "A Christmas Carol." Instead, we have one that is a literary classic and one that's.... "50 Shades of Gray." |
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| DeathkaiserG | February 10, 2013, 7:51 am Post #167 |
Faraway Black Jewel
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I'll be honest here...(even though i may hurt some other people here...) Actually, I rarely post in Art threads nowadays...as you can see..I never responded to other threads...cause i kinda not in my taste....Yeah, If i didnt post... Its not my taste...and Yes, I did enjoy that "mein" and for my works (which most are unfinished).... I kinda live with this principle now: Very NSFW language Moral of the quote (even though the wording of the quote has none), If you like it, then do it... don't be afraid of other people's reaction... you made it because you like it, not because others pushed you to make one.. sorry for my rudeness |
 "It is way easier to sneak past a dead person." -- Killian (Killian Experience) | |
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| Diabolic | February 10, 2013, 7:44 pm Post #168 |
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When you and your girl weren't ready for what happened next.
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BROshiki, I can personally say that I actually enjoy your works, and I'm not just saying that. Like I said before; I'm actually jealous of how well you can write out serious situations, I can't write like that worth crap, honestly. Try not to worry about being perfect with the things you do, I'm a firm believer of 'there's no way a human can achieve perfection'. If people were perfect, we'd run out of room to improve. Not to mention, your videos are really good, you're not giving yourself enough credit as far as your own skill level goes. Same with you, Dubes; I WISH I could draw like you, but anytime I do, my 9 year old stepsister puts me to shame. Improvement, while important, isn't everything either. (I may or may not have contradicted myself somehow, but I'm just hoping I help somehow.) Just so long as you're having fun with what you're doing (Like Dubes said), just roll with it. I write comedy because I feel I'm good at it, and I like having other people laugh because of something I made, and I suck at most other types of writing (I'm STILL trying to figure out what direction and how to up the seriousness in Shattered Hope). When I do fire emblem style portraits, it's because it's the only form of visual art I'm good at. But, enough about me, point is; You two gotta give yourselves more credit, people spend their entire lives trying things and giving up because they feel that it's not worth it if they can't do it crazy good, so anyone who actually sticks with anything at all gets the right to a little bragging rights in my book. |
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A tumblr? What's that? Can I eat it? Would you leave your lives to chance? What if I told you...you didn't have a choice? Swiggity Swag, Akihiko's in the bag! Have y'all seen my business card yet?
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| Mazel | February 16, 2013, 7:04 pm Post #169 |
Overseer
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To start, the simple, stupid things... I'm starting to hate my job more and more with each passing day. It doesn't help that I'm in a state of near-constant tiredness due to taking care of my son. He now sleeps at around 10 or 11 and wakes again around 3 or 4am. That's about right, actually, but it gets more torturous when he wakes again at 8am and just wants to play. On top of this, he's going through a phase of only sleeping maybe 14-30 minutes when he naps. I'm. so. TIRED. The second is concerning my mom. I love her. I've always looked at her as the most important part of my universe, but as the years have passed, my views of her have changed. I know she's not perfect. I know it's natural to separate from your parents. We'd never be our own person if we didn't. The main thing about her that bothers me and always has is the way she treats my older sister. Mom has always favored me more and there's been more than enough times where it was obvious to me AND my sister. Sis is not the easiest person to get along with. She has a bit of a temper (she's mellowed out quite a bit since having her two daughters) and she can be very stubborn and argumentative. But Sis really is a good person once you give her a chance and she's always been quick to take up for me and protect me. Everytime Sis comes up in a conversation, Mom always puts her down. She talks about how bad Sis's judgement is or how hard-headed she is. Mom almost never has a good thing to say about Sis. Today, she told me she's handling the payment of my oldest niece's cap and gown for graduation because she doesn't trust Sis with her credit cards. I could understand her saying that about, oh, twenty years ago, but not now. (Besides, I was a little sticky-fingered in high school, as well.) But one thing that's the most telling about how Mom treats me as opposed to my sister is this: When my nieces were little and did anything neat and smart, Mom would always say, "Oh my God! She reminds me sooooooo much of Inga when she was little!". Not once would Mom ever compare them favorably to Sis. They're her freakin' kids! Anytime I've ever brought it up, Mom would brush it off. "Oh, I didn't mean it like that. Sure Sis is a shithead, but she's MY shithead". I never know what to say to that. 
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Mazel's current mood is: You never can win it's the state I'm in This danger thrills and my conflict kills They say follow your heart follow it through But how can you when you're split in two? | |
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| superdubes | February 16, 2013, 7:25 pm Post #170 |
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The horror.
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You kick her in her face and shove liquid soap down her throat. Okay, now for the serious answer. You don't say anything. Judging from what you're saying here she just seems to be set in her ways. She most likely doesn't realize she's doing it. Sometimes people will deny favoritism because they don't know that they have a favorite to begin with. |
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