So today started out pretty annoying, I wasn't entirely sure if I got out at 2 in the afternoon today, or 6...turns out it was 6. Now, that essentially meant that I worked a full load, today. Not a big deal, right? Well, no, not rally. I didn't think much of it until I randomly looked at the scheduling card for today and saw that everyone else had CONSIDERABLY less hours for the day than me, including supervisors. Uhh...bullshit? I know we had a guy go MIA (he's done at this point), and someone else had school matters to attend to...but I'm not the only one that needs to get hours dumped on, I can't do my job and the workload of two others in a single day. T-they do know I have two jobs, right?

Employee evaluation...actually went pretty well. Other than my bagging speed (I'm a cashier), I'm doing an excellent job. Though I may or may not have let my eye twitch a bit when I was told that customers come to my line on purpose due to my energy and amiability (That I totally fake for the most part due to the nature of this job XD). I appreciate how much they seem to like me, but I'm also human...a chance to breathe would be nice~ (Though it's a good thing now that I think about it, so I'll stop whining about that. :3)

Break? What's that? I didn't get one of those, today. I had to count up all of the money in my register for my half hour break, my lunch was basically a Sunny Delight that I didn't even get to finish. I remember Chris Rock saying something about how criminals in jail get an hour long lunch break, so I'm gonna quote him for a minute: "Can I at least eat like a convicted murderer? I bet if I stabbed YOUR ass I could finish this drink!" (Though I wouldn't actually do that since my co-workers/supervisors are pretty cool.)

Hm? The system for the registers is down? ....WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE HAVE TO ADD EVERYTHING UP WITH A CALCULATOR?!? FOR AN HOUR?!? -internal screaming-

People...control your kids...there is no reason a cashier who was running on fumes 3 hours ago should have to give your bratty ass kid a piggyback ride while ringing up your items. Ground them, take away their games (Or give them the games), whip out the belt...I don't care. Do SOMETHING, because that was literally unacceptable.

...I didn't even know this many people could fit in one market...isn't this the SLOW location?!?

Alright...end of the day, I thought I could finally put this all behind me. "Sorry, Andrew, we need you to count up your coupons again as well as the rest of your till (Cash Tray). There's some issues with your numbers." Me: 'Okay, no problem!' -more internal screaming- Correction: There's an issue with EVERYTHING, the system went down, and anyone can tell you I'm not the best math student. So...needless to say, that took a while.

So anyway, today's one of my days off. Normally, on my days off, I'm usually doing something on my computer or random stuff around the house that needs taking care of. Today...I actually had the house to myself, and I had a lot of time to think about things, which I'm very grateful for.

The conclusion I came to was that I'm not just unhappy with my current living situation, I'm downright miserable with it. It hit me when I was talking to my mom earlier when she said I don't seem 'like my usual self' while I was talking to her. I didn't really think about it before, because I'm usually either really busy, or chatting it up with people on my computer.

So after I hung up and sat back down for a while, I really started thinking about my current situation. Very recently I was bitched/cursed out by my step mom for not spending enough time with her and the rest of the household, as well as reprimanded by my old man about the same thing. (Honestly, I couldn't care less about it at this point.) And it hit me that this is a constant thing with them, that they don't understand the concept of living with someone that really likes to be left alone, and that it's nothing personal against them.

So then it hit me; why am I even living with them? I know I moved here because of reasons I've spoken about before, but now; there's really no point. If I can find a job that's where I used to live (Which I checked, there are quite a few available now.), I don't need to subject myself to this anymore. To put in perspective of how badly these two drain me; I honestly look forward to really long days at work, just so when I get in, I can say I'm too worn out to hang out with them. It's gotten to the point where my 9 year old stepsister is the only person I don't roll my eyes at when talking to them, and that's saying something.

I've even woken up somedays more tired than when I went to sleep, and they always say 'I know how work is, but we do it and manage to talk to each other, why can't you?' Ehh...my job is actually physically demanding, I stand up all day and am constantly on the move. Even the short days wear me out, sometimes. (And don't get me started on how my knees buckle at least 3 times a day at this point.) Not to mention; I'm 21, in most cases, talking to people who aren't in that particular age group makes me want to throw myself out of a window anyway. That's without my natural introverted-ness coming into play, and there are just other things I'd rather be doing than talking about things that I couldn't care less about.

And they push the issue every chance they get. Now, asking about someone's day is the polite thing to do, but there's only so much to talk about before you get on the nerves of the person you're asking. 'how was your day?' 'It was good, thanks for asking. H-' (I was interrupted before I could ask about their day) 'Anything interesting happen today?' 'Nope.' 'What about the other day?' 'Not...really?' 'Look, I'm just trying to make conversation.' 'I...don't have anything to talk about?' 'Geez you're always like this!' '...Sorry?' 'What about work, how's working going?' '...I stand up all day, there really isn't much to talk about the repetitive action of ringing up groceries all day.' 'Don't take that tone with me.' '...-sigh-' And this was a real conversation!

Anywho, all whining aside; I'm taking action. The good thing about realizing all of this is that I now am able to do something about it. The week leading up to Mother's day I'm going back to my old home to visit my mom and help her out around the house with things, as well as chatting which we rarely get to do. While I'm there (And she already knows about this.) I'm gonna apply for jobs near that area so I can move back. (I've actually applied for a few online as it is.)

If all goes well, I'll be back in my own 'safe zone' by June with a new job and access to all the things I love doing/people I love to hang out with. (Which I honestly haven't had much time for. My writing's are getting stagnant, and my hacking project is on hiatus because of this.) I might end up physically worn out, but at least I'll be able to go back to a home where I won't be just as mentally drained. :3

Okay.

So my mother, around the age of 52, quite literally refuses to properly use a computer, but she uses a computer. Every. Fucking. Day.

Every day, I get called out of my bedroom, when I'm playing video games or doing whatever, and get asked some of the stupidest questions ever related to a computer.

"How so I find this song?"
"How do I send and email?"
"How do I watch One Life To Live?"
"This email says I won a FREE $500 Best Buy gift card. What do I have to do to claim it?" (<- even though I've explained to her a millions times that things like that are USUALLY scams.)

So on, and so forth.

The problem being, is that no matter how many times I show her how to do the exact same fucking thing, she never catches on.

Like, I can understand, that when she was born, computers as we know them today didn't exist. By the time she was my age, (19 going on 20) computers were still more or less in their infancy, and so was the internet. That's all well and good, and I have no problem teaching her how to do something once or twice.

But when I get dragged out of my room, forced to show her how to do something that I've shown her about 100 times before, (or just outright made to do it for her, rather that teaching her) I tend to get a little annoyed with her. I mean seriously, my 90 year old grandmother knows how to use a computer MUCH better than my mom, and she taught herself by just using a computer, and she read like..one of those "For Dummies" books.

The problem is, (and she has straight up admitted this to my face) is that even though she CAN commit this to memory if she wants to, she just doesn't actually bother to do so, and just goes ahead and forgets, because I'm from the "Computer Generation" and she just expects me to re-teach her every time she needs to do something even though she was the one who didn't bother to remember.

That's not the technological impairment that we often stereotype onto old people. That's just plum laziness, bullshit, and unreasonable.

And another thing is that she thinks that just because the internet, I can magically find every little bit of information she could ever want.I can find a lot of information, but I haven't been able to a few bits and pieces of info. When this happens, she swears and me and says things like "YOU claim to be good with computers and you can't even find this!" as if she could or something.

Like...sorry I can't always find information you need, I may be pretty good with computers, but I'm not a fucking wizard. And sometimes she has had me look up info, and I knew where t look, but the info just wasn't there. Like. She heard Cher, who she is a fan of, was doing some shows in vegas a couple years ago. She asked me to look up tour dates because she automatically assumed that means a country wide tour, and I couldn't find any information of the sort. I found plenty of dates for vegas, but nothing else. So she got mad and decided that I had the wrong info, and that I was looking in the wrong place. One because she doesn't fully know how the internet works, two because it just wasn't the information she wanted to see.

She also still thinks that all the people I talk to online are pedophiles and killers and shit, because you really only things about the internet on the news, when it's a craigslist killer, or a pedophile raping 8 year old girls and shit.

Obviously I have to problem with old people using computers. And as I stated, I have no problem showing them the ropes. But dammit older people, learn how to use this shit for yourself. I may be here to help you now, but the more you ask me the same effing question, the less I'm going to want to help you. Especially if you CAN learn, you just don't WANT to. There is no excuse for that.

I could deal with teaching an old person the same thing multiple times if they only used a computer every once in a blue moon. But when they use a computer every day like my mom...just no.