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| Venting Topic | |
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| Topic Started: August 18, 2012, 11:26 pm (17,045 Views) | |
| Ajogamer | December 26, 2013, 2:28 am Post #281 |
 
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I hope you still stick around, since I've enjoyed your company in the time I've known you. You certainly shouldn't feel forced to stay if you feel it's holding you down or you don't feel like you're getting anything out of being here, but I don't think disappearing completely will make anyone feel better, either us or you. I definitely realize you've had a lot of difficult issues and obstacles in your life, and still do. Regardless of whether you ultimately chose to hang around this forum or not, I really hope you hang in there. I believe you're definitely capable of improving your situation and having a happier life if you stay persistent and continue working on improving yourself and your situation a little bit at a time. I don't want to sugar-coat, so I won't say it's always going to be easy, especially since life has its up and downs for everyone, though you're also smart and likable (whether you think so or not), so I'm sure your situation will get better for you if you stay dedicated enough. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to send me a PM. I'm probably not too capable when it comes to offering advice or guidance, though I can at least hear you out and offer my opinion if you want it. I'm also not easily offended, so you can generally be pretty honest with me. |
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| superdubes | December 26, 2013, 9:54 am Post #282 |
The horror.
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@dkg trust me if I could just cry this away I would. I can honestly tell you don't understand and hope you never do. @ajo Thanks, but I think you'd think I'm crazy if you knew how I thought and why I think that way. I acknowledge that people have had rougher childhoods than me, but mine sucked. My current life continues to suck too. |
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| Morishige Sakutaro - kun | December 26, 2013, 8:23 pm Post #283 |
Mayu's Shige-nii.
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Sure, go ahead and do that. But I know it won't help. What you think of yourself is far worse than what anyone here thinks of you, and leaving to go and depress yourself some more? Take a second and think about what you're achieving by doing that. Now listen, I know what you're thinking. To be honest, if someone hasn't felt useless and depressed once in their lives, they've got off way too easy. But you get over it, and you live on, so don't ruin something good and regret it later. I know this in an overused line, but don't live comparing yourself to others. Live on your opinion, and yours alone. When a religious-nut family member shuns you, laugh it off, as someone who is prepared to seclude family for a 2000YO myth book is claiming to have the moral high ground. When you think you're being useless, think about how you're making people thousands of miles away smile and be impressed without even knowing anything about you. Maybe even right now, think about how stupid it is for some newly 14 YO twat who takes himself way too seriously to be giving an adult with way more artistic talents life advice. Maybe I don't know the context to this sudden depression of yours, but I know that a smart cynic like you can get over it, and just don't want to see that smart cynic to make mistakes due to other people in the process. EDIT: Just considered the holiday that just happened, so I'm going to take a guess and say that this has something related to it? Edited by Morishige Sakutaro - kun, December 26, 2013, 8:25 pm.
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Mayu and Morishige - Forever apart Sachiko's worst torture | |
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| superdubes | December 27, 2013, 12:40 am Post #284 |
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The horror.
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@morishige thanks, but this isn't sudden. It has been building for months. I also do get emotional this time of year because my grandfather died on Christmas a few years ago. Plus a bunch of other reasons I'm not comfortable putting out there in the public. I have just been really stupid around other people lately and have probably come off as both creepy and annoying to them. I don't care too much what others think of me. I just don't like the thought that I've hurt people, annoyed them, or wasted their time. I haven't slept at all in the last 4 days now. I even had 3 teeth pulled today. One was a wisdom tooth and the other two were breaking each other. I told the dentist not to give me painkillers as a prescription too. Partially because I think I deserve to hurt and partially because I don't think I could trust myself with them in my state of mind. I'm sure in a few days I'll feel like an idiot for these posts. I'm just venting how I feel right now though. I'm tired, light headed, depressed, and I have holes in my mouth where teeth should be that really hurt. If I'm upsetting people here with my posts I'm sorry. I don't mean to. I'll just go away now, hope I can sleep , and maybe come back tomorrow if I don't still feel like an ass. |
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| Ajogamer | December 27, 2013, 7:27 am Post #285 |
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It's certainly possible I may not agree with the way you think about or rationalize certain things, but I doubt I'd think you were crazy or dislike you, regardless of what you wound up telling me. It's fine if you don't want to confide in me or talk about any of those issues with me, though regardless of who it is, I do think you should have someone you can feel comfortable talking about your concerns and feelings with, since I think that's something everyone can significantly benefit from, regardless of how good or bad their life currently is. While it's possible to go through life completely alone, it's always a LOT tougher that way, even if you have a good life in every other aspect. I say that as someone who's been a lifelong introvert as well. I used to try to always hide my weaknesses, worries, and issues and always kept those details to myself since I didn't want to appear too negative, and was always worried about burdening others. I also tried to never talk about or even mention my hobbies or interests unless I considered it "relevant to the other person's interests", since I didn't want to bore them, and often agreed with others opinions and viewpoints regardless of my own, since I never wanted to get into any arguments. It wasn't until I started to confide in people and be more honest about myself that my life really started to improve. I also found that occasionally confiding in others or asking for advice didn't burden others nearly as much as I thought it did; in fact, it often had the opposite effect, since it showed trust, and drew our relationship closer. People also started to like me more when I began to be more honest about my emotions and beliefs, since I was showing my personality more, and had an easier time speaking at length since I was being honest rather than merely agreeing. This even often went for when I had a differing viewpoint as well; I realized that when it comes to matters of emotion and opinion, how you say it and present it is at least as important as what you say, if not moreso. The extremes of being too meek and secluded or being too confrontational and overwhelming can both be equally harmful; people aren't always on the same place on the scale, but finding that balance is important for everyone, I think. Anyway, I suppose I got a little long-winded there. The main thing I'm trying to say is that it's a lot harder to pull yourself up purely on your own than it is to work together with others, occasionally leaning on them for support, and vice-versa. |
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| Anira | December 28, 2013, 2:50 am Post #286 |
Can't die, nyeh!
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Hmm I'm not quite sure if this is the place to post it, or if it's even really venting, but it's something really bothering me at the moment. Sooooo here's my sob story... About 11 months ago my fiance and I took our 1+ year old female cat (who we've happily had since she was less than a month old) to the vet to get fixed and basically ended up adopting this adorable little black male kitten before we left for the day. Now it was a very sudden decision and kind of risky especially in since we already had a cat and wasn't sure how she would react when we brought her home the next day, but everything ended up working out. The two of them became fast friends, I have always been around cats my whole life and adore them so I instantly fell in love with him and my fiance was really happy to have him as a new part of our little family as well. After owning our new kitten for a few months he started umm marking his territory, but we couldn't neuter him at the time because of the cost. A couple months later we were finally able to get him taken care of and after cleaning up the cats room (we have a room with their food, litter, etc) and everything, we felt like things were gonna be fine and get better. Well our cat continued peeing on things in the room, not like everyday, but still sometimes, and it would obviously make the room and sometimes even the rest of the house smell bad. On top of that little problem he is very timid and would always run away from my fiance like he was terrified of him (even though he would constantly snuggle up to me and follow me around) run outside if he opened the front door (we don't like our cats going out because it isn't safe enough where we're currently at) and just doesn't seem to listen sometimes. Well a couple of days ago, my fiance woke me up in the afternoon (I'm not lazy, I just have a weird sleep schedule) and started talking to me about the cat, saying that he was tired of him always running away and how hard it is to keep the cat urine smell out of the house and I started tearing up because I had a feeling of what he wanted to really talk to me about. A short while later he said that our cat was going back to the vet later in the day to be put back up for adoption. I couldn't stop crying after I heard that and must have spent over 2 hours just holding our cat and telling him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. A while later the time came for me to put him in the cat carrier and let him go. My fiance and I have been together for a very very long time now and I still love him of course, but he knew how much I despised him that day and that it will be a long time (if ever) until I forgive him and he kept telling me that he was sorry and he didn't do it to hurt me. I'm so hurt though, my little kitty buddy being gone is all I've been able to think about for the past couple days, I miss him so much and after talking to my fiance on and off about it I know that he misses him a lot too and sadly I actually think he regrets giving him up now, but out of all of this the thing that makes me the most upset, is that I didn't fight. I know that what our cat was doing wasn't good, but I feel like we could have fixed the problems if we kept trying. Now I know that my fiance might have gotten annoyed with me and we might have argued that day, but after thinking about it, and talking to him, I think I would have been able to convince him to not give our cat back to the vet. Even though I'm upset with my fiance I think more than anything, I just hate myself right now, and the fact that I didn't even try that hard. Instead all I did was cry and try to block everything out and I guess my "venting" is that I'm absolutely furious with myself for giving up on one of my babies. Ahh haha I'm umm sorry about the long-ish story and I know it might sound like I'm being a baby about it, but I have always lived with cats (literally my whole life) and I've also had to see a lot of them go, so it hurts me almost more than anything else. I'm also sorry if this is kind of a weird thing to post, but I kind of just needed to say it all out loud and hope that people are nice enough to listen and understand 
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| superdubes | December 28, 2013, 11:34 pm Post #287 |
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The horror.
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That's what this topic is for. I had a cat that died a year ago named The Doctor. He peed everywhere and always tried to run out the door. One Christmas he got out when I wasn't paying attention. When we came back he was dead on the road. I still miss him. I'm sorry for your loss. |
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| Anira | December 29, 2013, 1:25 am Post #288 |
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Can't die, nyeh!
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Aww, I'm really sorry to hear that; and thank you for understanding |
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| superdubes | December 31, 2013, 9:17 pm Post #289 |
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The horror.
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2 things 1) I'm not depressed anymore. Just really really pissed at someone and how I acted for a couple days in response to him. I'm still going to leave the forum in the coming month though unless I get a message from someone in particular not to. I felt like I offended them and said that I'd leave the forum so they don't have to worry about me anymore instead of blocking me. I'm finally home now too and I'm going to remove them from Skype like I promised as well. 2) I had a gun pulled on my recently. It's a long story and I won't go into details unless people are curious. My fingers are cold and I don't feel like typing it all out right now. |
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| Sceppie | January 3, 2014, 11:46 pm Post #290 |
Cursed, soon dead- steeped in dread....
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I recently cut my finger, and now the tip's completely numb. It's beginning to really worry me as well as bother me, because I've heard that nerve damage is permanent. On a different note, I've been feeling as though my soul's being dragged by dark voids of nothingness into the deepest pits of the ocean... it's like I'm drowning. It only happens at night, but all of a sudden I'll start wondering; if you die in Heavenly Host, nobody remembers you. But there are so many people in this life that won't be remembered either. I feel so terrible when I think about everyone that deserves more thought in this world.... However, it's also the presence of venting threads like these that can put things into perspective, and I'm grateful for that and everyone who took the time to post in this thread. |
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