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| Venting Topic | |
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| Topic Started: August 18, 2012, 11:26 pm (17,043 Views) | |
| Ajogamer | January 29, 2014, 7:23 am Post #301 |
 
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That sounds like a pretty tough situation... Im glad to hear you're at least getting by and doing alright, though. While it's definitely commendable that you're supporting your mom like that, it's also important that you make sure this doesn't keep going on indefinitely, since if she's actually leeching off you and not making much of an effort to grow independent again, that'd be very unfair to you, and make it pretty tough to for you to eke out a successful future as you mentioned. One thing I'm wondering is have you really taken the time to talk about the situation with her at length? While it may not be as important when these circumstances only started more recently, this situation definitely can't stay indefinitely, even if it means eventually doing something more drastic like moving off on your own and leaving her to fend for herself. First, I'd probably make sure she really knows how tight the money is, since that alone may show how it's really a bit of a gamble to continue in the current situation, even putting your future aside. I'd definitely say mentioning your concerns about your future and your inability to save up for your own future would be good as well though, and don't sugar-coat it when you do. Most parents have a good deal of concern for their child's well-being and future, so if you state it in a way that's clear on the potential consequences and makes it hard to ignore the reality of the situation, perhaps she'll be jolted into action, or at least become more motivated to make a stronger effort to stop depending on you for financial support. In some ways, this is a lot like when children leech off their parents but in reverse, so some similar rules apply. While being supportive is definitely good, you also need to make sure you aren't being too coddling or lenient, or they may continue taking advantage, be it intentional or not. If it eventually becomes clear that she's really not making much of an effort to get a job and start paying for herself, you may even want to consider setting a deadline for how long you're willing to support her. If she STILL doesn't have a job or any way to make an income by that deadline, then you'd end up moving out. While that'd potentially be tough for both you and her, it'd at least give you your independence, so your income and well-being would be much more in your control. While it'd be tough if you didn't have enough money saved or coming in from income to get a house or the like, there are still services like homeless shelters and soup kitchens that could be temporarily relied on, which would at least make it far more feasible to save up money for a house and an education than in your current situation. As for her, she'd hopefully be more motivated to get a job then even if it's something minimum wage, though even if she didn't or couldn't, she could still apply for welfare, so it's not like you'd be letting her stave. Another thing is that if you look at it long-term, if the current situation staying as-is seems hard to sustain for both you AND her. However, if you go off on your own, start saving for your future, and eventually get a better paying job, that'd not only do a lot to secure your own future, but you may even be able to afford to help her out as well multiple years down the line, once you're living more securely and bringing in bigger paychecks. Anyway, I don't really know your situation all that well, so you know better than I do what makes sense. Regardless of what you do though, make sure you hang in there; it sounds pretty rough, though it definitely isn't hopeless. You seem to already have a pretty good work ethic as well, so as long as you persevere and don't give up, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to get things back in shape eventually. It's very easy to feel like the situation's hopeless or impossible to get out of when times are tough, but if you really take the time to analyze the situation and are willing to be flexible and go outside your comfort zone, then there's always a way. |
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| Yoshie Shinozaki | January 29, 2014, 9:35 am Post #302 |
The First Victim
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I agree with Ajogamer, it sound similar to a situation I had when my aunt moved in with me and my family. I'll be honest, I had a story written down comparing to the scenario but it seems too inappropriate so I'm gonna keep this short. I hope for both of you that things get better and it doesn't resort to you moving out. Especially since houses or apartments are expensive now. Once again, I hope for the best, have a good one. Now for my vent. I've been stuck in my house because of the ice on the road for three days and I'm bored out of my mind. I never thought I'd say this but I actually miss work. Not to mention, I'm developing a sore throat and I'm starting to feel dizzy. So tomorrow is gonna be "fun" what with this head cold that's brewing. That's my two cents. |
| "I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica. | |
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| Diabolic | January 31, 2014, 11:55 am Post #303 |
When you and your girl weren't ready for what happened next.
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Thanks you guys for your support and advice. Ajo: I did talk to her and she IS looking for work, but she's being really picky about where she wants to work, which we're not exactly in a position for her to be doing. But we are both getting our Refunds in relatively soon (She already filed hers, and I'll file mine once I get my other W2 from my last job and get direct deposit) She still kinda blew up at me, though, but I did get the point across. @Shinozaki: I hope you feel better, and thanks for your kind words as well! Best of luck to you as well. |
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A tumblr? What's that? Can I eat it? Would you leave your lives to chance? What if I told you...you didn't have a choice? Swiggity Swag, Akihiko's in the bag! Have y'all seen my business card yet?
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| Yoshie Shinozaki | February 10, 2014, 9:17 am Post #304 |
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The First Victim
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The day I've been dreading has arrived. My mom, my brother and my sister are flying into Ohio for my sister to have some surgeries done. When we drove to the airport, my family were telling my dad and me goodbye. While everyone else were somber and tears in their eyes... I was expressionless. I just stood there and waved them off. It wasn't until now, I realized what just happened. I probably won't get to see my mom and siblings for two weeks. I can't deal with loss lightly, despite knowing where their going to be. It's just, I've never been separated from my family before. I'm not mad because of not being able to see them for two weeks. I'm mad at myself for not saying a goddamn word. I apologize for wasting anyone's time. I just had to say something. |
| "I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica. | |
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| Yoshie Shinozaki | February 17, 2014, 1:19 pm Post #305 |
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The First Victim
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I don't mean to divert attention from Rakunda's birthday,(happy birthday again, by the way) but I just wanted to say something. This is not actually a vent, it's an apology.(sure it seem a bit feeble but I owe it). I was just gonna leave a PM but why not share it with everyone else as well? By the way, I wrote this in the style of a letter, I didn't intend to write it like that, it just came out that way. So without further adieu.(I could just say sorry but its not that simple for me). Spoiler: click to toggle I just hope this isn't taken out of context because I posted this on the Venting Topic.I just didn't have anywhere else to go. Edited by Yoshie Shinozaki, February 17, 2014, 1:21 pm.
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| "I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica. | |
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| Iarumas | February 17, 2014, 2:26 pm Post #306 |
The backwards samurai!
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You know, lately I've just been watching the posts on the forums quietly, peeking at whatever I want to glimpse at according to my muse, but I really do have to respond to this. Hell, I didn't ever think I'd post in this thread, but here we go... If someone's gonna give you props, I guess I'll go ahead and be first to say it... Out loud anyway. Yea, you made a mistake, but you owning up to it is admirable. Probably not my place to say it, but it's what I think. It makes me think of a few of the things to have happened to me lately. In any case, I hope things turn out well for you really... It inspires me to go ahead and do something that's, in retrospect, kinda stupid, but I should have done it a long time ago. So, I'll be wishing you luck my friend. Please wish me luck too. ^^
Edited by Iarumas, February 17, 2014, 2:28 pm.
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 Escaped Heavenly Host my very first try. https://soundcloud.com/jestereir/shangri-la-music-box Corpse Party 2: DEAD PATIENT English Patch - Coming 2015
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| Ist Kisaragi | February 17, 2014, 2:45 pm Post #307 |
The Void Walker
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I just have to agree with Iaru on this. While it doesn't affect me as much as him, you did the right thing Yoshie. If there's one thing you'd call owning up and admitting flaws is, it's admirable. And as for myself, I've never been one of strong self control, trust me. Again, admitting flaws is never easy. |
| Whether by Windblast or by choke hold, whether by the steel of my Folding Blade or the swiftness of Blink, whether by Possession or by the power of thine Pistol, none shall evade either my Wrath, or my Mercy. For the Outsider gazes from his Void, the fate of all, are in the hands of those, marked by him. | |
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| Skybird | February 19, 2014, 5:21 am Post #308 |
Grindblues
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Damn... I know I should go and do my school works now, but I'm just so beat. I just want to relax. Hahh... Just awhile ago, my classmates and I went and convince our thesis teacher to move the oral defense and luckily, it got approved, so one less problem. But with finals next week + the fact that I am graduating makes me really stressed. This topic helped relieve some of that stress so, thank you. 
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| Yoshie Shinozaki | February 25, 2014, 1:25 pm Post #309 |
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The First Victim
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Here I am again, sadly. This time, I'm expressing concern for a co-worker of mine. In late November, he suffered a massive heart attack in the parking lot of the worksite. He's been on an oxygen tank since they discharged him from the hospital. He's been out of work since then. Now it's February and my dad and I just learned that 90% of his neck has blood clots and he's prone to have a stroke. And the worst part is, the hospital cannot do anything to help him. I know that he and I don't really get along but it kills me thinking about him suffering. I deeply regret any bad blood, we have between each other. And thank you guys for understanding my "Letter" because its the same scenario as this post. I seriously hope for the best because he's scared to death right now... And I am too. |
| "I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica. | |
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| superdubes | March 20, 2014, 11:10 am Post #310 |
The horror.
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That feeling you get when a counselor doesn't show up to an appointment. |
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