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Venting Topic
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Topic Started: August 18, 2012, 11:26 pm (16,982 Views)
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Zaion
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October 13, 2015, 11:45 am
Post #911
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FanFiction writer/Translator/Character Bio writer
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You're caught by the Barnum effect. Most of those quizzes and phrases are built around them, so they are relatable to everyone.
Honestly, the best people to see if you have a mental problem are the people who interact with you on a day to day basis. Teachers or other people who interact with a lot of people on a day to day basis are usually good judges, but that's not always true.
In the end, if you are seriously worried about this, or find yourself reacting in ways that you cannot control or pushes people away, then you need to ask for or find help.
Mental disorders are, in the end, only disorders if they prevent you from living your life. In other words, it's only a disorder if there is evidence of damage or distress.
I don't know you massively well, so I can't offer any personal advice, but if you're worried then you're going to have to work for it. If you think you need to see a therapist, google one who lives near you, look at the reviews of other patients or clients, and choose one you think you will like.
Being pleased about having a mental disorder isn't that strange. I myself was disappointed when I found nothing wrong in a CT scan of my brain. The idea that there was nothing physically or even clinically wrong with me upset me a lot, and I couldn't help thinking, "Why the fuck do I feel like this then?".
In the end though, we've all gotta eat and gotta pay the bills. Having a mental disorder does make you an easier target for getting the short end of the stick, so be careful and watch out for yourself.
TLDR: Don't worry too much.
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Check out my fanfic Corpse Party: Blood Drive Aftermath.
I can also translate from Japanese to English. Open to requests.
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superdubes
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October 13, 2015, 12:35 pm
Post #912
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The horror.
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If for any reason whatsoever you feel like you're having issues that need help from a professional. Seek out a professional.
If you're worried about it go and see a doctor about it and get a professional diagnosis. I wouldn't trust an online survey to diagnose me. Just like I wouldn't trust a pamphlet to teach me how to do all the plumbing in my house.
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haruhi suzumiya
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October 13, 2015, 4:13 pm
Post #913
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हेप्पी!
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- Angela
- October 13, 2015, 10:39 am
Hey guys, it's me venting again. I need your help and support. There's something that's been troubling me for a quite long amount of time. I did a quiz just for fun about the topic if I would have a mental disorder. My results were a mix of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I didn't take it too seriously, since it was a just-for-fun-quiz. But the fact always krept back in my mind, so I took serious quizzes about this by real doctors and psychologists. My results confused me and I decided to leave it alone. But it always came back into my mind, that thought with its thousands of questions, So I took quizzes again. Today I took a quiz about the topic: "Do I need theraphy?" Maybe you know it. I would like to share my results with you: Spoiler: click to toggle
Results for AC
October 13, 2015
Thanks for taking the EMHI-r!
RESULTS: In some respects you scored outside the range of functioning that is usually considered normal. This does not necessarily mean that you are diagnosable with any particular disorder, but it does mean that you will probably benefit from consulting with a qualified mental health professional for further testing or treatment. Area(s) of possible concern (expressed in the diagnostic language that will be familiar to your therapist):
Bipolar Disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
I know I shouldn't take this too seriously, not even take it as a diagnosis, which I am not, by the way, but it's still nagging at my mind. I keep questioning myself until I don't know what's real and what I truly think about it anymore. I even had the thought of searching a therapist, which I quickly dropped. I just don't know. Maybe I'm interpretating too much into this, which I probably do, but..... I can't get it off my mind. No, I did not tell anyone about this. Deep down I fear that they might think I've gone crazy, which I'm also beginning to think. I read about all the disorders mentioned above and I somehow identify with the symptoms, but I still have so mixed feelings about this, which is why I need help. I even realised that it somehow pleases me to think about having a mental disorder, which is seriously dumb and crazy. I just feel lost and any kind of advice would help me. I just had to get this out of my chest and I thought that you would be the most likely I could tell about this. Thanks for reading this all through, friends :3
Hey angela.
well i dont have a mental disorder, (i do though have insomnia.) i would like to say i hope you stay well. Infact, try relaxing the body and mind. Yoga always helps me. And maybe you can convert to a religion. But i am getting into religion here by accident, whoops.
Make the mind tender. Soften your nerves. You may or may not need a therapist. Just see what you can do for yourself and if all things dont go good, then seek help.
(I would send you shigitou's regards but just to piss him off, i wont. XP  )
Take good care and if you want to ask or talk, i could listen. I may not be helpful but i will listen. 
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#lovenaho!
adore me. Cure me. Bruise me. Kill me.
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Papina
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October 14, 2015, 12:01 am
Post #914
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LET'S GO!!!!
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- Zaion
- October 13, 2015, 11:45 am
You're caught by the Barnum effect. Most of those quizzes and phrases are built around them, so they are relatable to everyone.
@Angela: ^ Exactly as Zaion said. And the tests you can rely on are those that have been standardized, i.e. they let a large population of different ages, races, and other relevant demographics take them so they know what scores are normal. Doing this needs a huge budget and lots of time, so it's very unlikely that those who run websites and give out tests for free actually tested it for reliability. The tests you can trust usually have an accompanying research article with them stating the accuracy and norms for the tests. This is also the reason why tests might cost a lot when you want to take standardized ones.
This is pretty much my field of work, so I'd like to explain in detail how assessment and diagnosis goes for mental health. First, we do not base it on just one test or one person's observation. Ideally, diagnosis takes a while, enough time to get to know the person's problem. (Though I heard of some practitioners diagnosing directly in just a day ;;)
Anyway, these are the things we collect when we have to assess a person and do a diagnosis:
1. Interviews - with the client, the parents, the teachers, and anyone who spends time a lot with the client
2. Test results - from different tests relevant to the client's reason for assessment; these are always standardized tests, e.g. MMPI, OLSAT, etc. Sometimes, we also have projective tests like the Rorchach (that ink blot test) and Thematic Apperception Test.
3. Personal Observation with the client during encounters with the mental health professional.
These are gathered and compared to each other. We take note of the behavior that is consistent within the data. Behaviors that manifest only at a certain place might also indicate a problem with the environment, which is affecting the person.
Should the disorder be linked to a biological cause such as a lesion in the brain, then we'd have to call in a neurologist to conduct brain scans and other tests. (But in the Diagnostic Manual 5th ed, you can't be diagnosed with a mental disorder if it has a biological cause. Though it is indicated that the condition is causing you to have symptoms of a mental disorder.)
Also, I'd like to emphasize the definition of 'abnormal behavior'. Practitioners have different opinions about this, but I'd like to agree with my professor's definition (which is what Zaion also mentioned earlier): To consider a behavior abnormal, it should either cause distress to the person or disrupt the person's functioning in everyday life. In the case of trauma, she used to say 'It's a normal reaction to an abnormal event'. A lot of my professors like to avoid labeling people according to their disorders. They only do so when insurance is involved. The important point is to focus on helping the client overcome the problem, which is the main reason why we diagnose in the first place.
................
TLDR: Free internet tests are not always trustworthy. Go see a mental health professional if you're really worried. Note: The ones who are allowed to diagnose mental disorders are psychiatrists and clinical psychologists.
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Extra Notes:
(Hory shiz. I typed a lot more than usual.)
I can talk in detail about schizophrenia, bipolar, and dissociative identity, but I'd probably end up filling up so much space so I'll leave that to your discretion to ask me questions.
Really though, dissociative identity is very rare. People even argue about its existence, yet they placed it in the list of mental disorders. I'd be willing to fly to your country and have you as a case study for a dissertation if the tests are accurate. Haha
Edited by Papina, October 14, 2015, 12:16 am. |
Neko Neko PON | Tumblr? | Twitter!
  
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Angela
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October 14, 2015, 8:47 am
Post #915
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Warrior Maiden
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Oh wow O_O
I never thought I would cause such a big fuss about this xD
First of all, I would like to thank you all, especially you, Papina and Zaion. Your advice is really helpful and I'm very grateful.
But it's still bugging me. I really want to believe that I have no disorder and I can let that topic drop forever, but the thoughts just won't go out of my mind.
Which is why I want to ask you: Do you think I should contact anyone about my thinking? With that I mean teachers, friends, etc... but no family. I just don't want to bring that topic up with my family, not because I fear their reaction, but for other reasons I can't quite explain. My heart just tells me not to.
And Papina, since you are an expert on this, would you mind answering my questions and tell me more over a PM?
I feel just so different about this. I really doubt that I have a disorder, but something inside me wants me to be concerned and (probably) over-worried about this. Maybe I'm just interpretending to much into this. But why do I feel like something is wrong then?
*sighs* I just don't know.....
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*Insert a humorous joke or poetic sentence for drama here*
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Yoshiki Kishinuma
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October 15, 2015, 2:35 am
Post #916
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The Hero of Another Story
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High school is just an abyss that sucks away all of your life and reminds you that you can never be yourself if you want to get anywhere in life because you constantly have to suck up to everyone and bite back your social anxiety even though you've been struggling with it for as long as you can remember. 10/10 would recommend to friends. 
P.S: Oh, and screw exams, too. Why.......
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“I'm telling you I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!”
 Yoshiki Kishinuma
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Papina
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October 16, 2015, 9:16 am
Post #917
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LET'S GO!!!!
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Hory shiz. Today, I rode a taxi and realized that the driver was drunk. He was talking to himself incoherently, so I had him stop the car and I got out.
Fudge. Recipe for disaster yo.
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Mayu Suzumoto
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October 16, 2015, 10:55 pm
Post #918
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[L O S T S O U L]
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@haruhi suzumiya: Hello. I realize I'm a little late to this, but I just wanted to apologize to what befell you and your family.  To be honest, like most, I'm at a bit of a loss given my shock upon reading this. I'm just really, really sorry. I'm even moreso sorry that I'm offline so often and couldn't Skype with you to try to offer any comfort -- if I could even give any -- but still, to just talk with you and try...
I'm truly sorry. If you ever want to get anything off of your chest, feel free to message me. I'm sadly unreliable at getting back to others' these days due to some personal misfortunes over the last few months, but even if you just need someone to listen, y'know. I'm really happy that at least there were some around able to offer you some comfort. ♥ Please take care of yourself, Haruhi. ♥
My troubles. It's a bit long, but I'm summarizing a few months, so it can't be helped. I just needed a vent, badly, eheh. My problems suddenly feel rather small after I read of Haruhi's misfortune, but as I'm commenting here, I thought I should probably mention them, anyway. I can't recall if I said so or not, but an Uncle of mine passed away early April, shortly before my birthday. He was a caregiver to my great-grandfather who has many health difficulties. Truly...there were truly many times when we thought my great-grandfather would pass, but he overcame so much hardship, I think we all started to assume he'd never pass on, y'know? To overcome so many things... Anyway...for his sake, we didn't tell him about my Uncle at first. We pretended my Uncle was admitted to the same hospital he was (since my Uncle passed and we didn't find out for a few days, we're not sure how long my great-grandfather was alone in the house. His nurse that would come by to visit found him. He couldn't walk, but that's probably best -- he didn't have to see my Uncle's body. So we were able to pretend for a bit that my Uncle was admitted to the same hospital, different ward. He did have head trauma from an accident a few years ago, so we went with that. After a bit of time, we told him he passed away in the hospital. He never found out otherwise. We couldn't tell him. How could we tell him? He was living with my Uncle for so long and unfortunately due to familial problems, the whole family was broken into pieces due to a fight all of the adults (we were kids back then) had ages ago. Another Uncle of mine waded through each fractured family and would tell us lies about the other families and make it worse -- we all thought terribly of each other and none of it was actually true. The Uncle that would lie...I can't really tell you his reasoning. (He's not the Uncle that passed on.) Still, he was a major reason that the families didn't speak -- we were all practically told "so and so hates you" "so and so doesn't want to speak with you again," etc. Um, so of course my Uncle Robert passing brought us back together. Billy (the Uncle who spread so many lies -- hence my simply using his name as I'm quite upset with him) didn't show up to the memorial service. It's not like he wasn't allowed, but he definitely wasn't wanted. The family came back together, while it was sadly at the expense of my Uncle's life. Still. I think he would have been happy to have us all together again. Apparently he had tons of photos of all of us younger ones, his nieces and nephews in his room -- which made me happy. I hadn't spoken to him in years so I had no clue how he felt about me. I'm the eldest of the nieces and nephews at 25 -- the rest are early twenties or late teens. So...in that regard, I try to be thankful that I remember a little more about my Uncle and great-grandfather than my fellow cousins. My great-grandfather gave up after he learned about my Uncle, his caregiver, died. We tried hard to be there for him, but we couldn't replace the man who had been by his side, selflessly giving up his own personal life for his care. He just...gave up. There were medical reasons, but I honestly think he died of a broken heart. You know how they say that happens with married couples -- that one can't go on without the other? Pretty sure that's what happened. Twice in one year I've woken up to my mom sobbing into the phone, saying "This can't be true!" It was hard enough with my Uncle, but to have my great-grandfather pass in such a short time...ah. It was mentally exhausting. Painful. Etc. All I can really say is that our family is stronger than ever, at least. I have my special cousin back. Her and I grew up together and were apart for 8 years because of a ridiculous argument that had nothing to do with either of us. We were kids back then and were practically forced to take sides and had an utter lack of contact as a result. She's like my little sister. She's the best. I have...a serious medical problem. Very serious. Not life-threatening--but my quality of life is pretty difficult. I'm in physical pain everyday, I don't leave the house very often because of said pain and all of my friendships have crumbled due to my lack of contact. It's been lonely. I'm always pretty peppy and positive, but deep in my heart I've always been lonely. I feel like having her back in my life filled a void that nobody else could. When I'm with her, my physical pain seems to melt away, like a distant dream. I feel like a normal woman. Since then, we've done tons of things together and it makes me happy, but it pains me to think that the family suffered two sacrifices, so to speak, before we came together again. Still...I have to look at the silver lining. Yep. I can do that. I'm good at doing that, I think! I'm sorry if I sounded a little...un-Mayu-like there? Anyone who knows me personally here knows I'm pretty positive. I do my best to carry that, but telling this story was a bit tough. So! I guess some sadness came through. Still, I'm trying my best to stay strong. Besides the two passings, I underwent a surgery I believe I mentioned a bit ago. No venting there actually, it helped me out and is still helping me out -- my physical pain has lessened. There's no cure for what I have, so I'm truly grateful for anything that can help me. Apparently I'll be going to a pain management class within a few months that will be tough, admittedly, and will require physical therapy that might hurt...but it's better than being stuck in the house on medicine the rest of the life, y'know? I'm tired of it. I've been going out more since my cousin came back into my life, but there's still many days where it hurts so much, I'm stuck in bed. This Specialist has truly helped me over the past year though, so I'm 100% positive that within 6 months, I can pop back in here and sound a lot better. Time heals wounds. I'll be doing my best to heal my body. It's tough to talk about, but it's why I'm so godawful and unreliable at answering messages anywhere. Facebook, tumblr, here, etc...I feel awful when I reach out to help someone and then suddenly I can't respond for months because I can't even make it to my desktop. I'm really sorry to anyone here that I've done that to. (Um, Kishinuma-kun. I really, really am sorry. I feel awful about not being able to get back to you yet. Just terrible. My sincerest apologies.) On a final note, I just got over a severe cold/flu that's been circulating over here in the States, from what I understand. I was sick with a general cold about a week and then got better, but then I caught it again. (I'm seriously a Mayu-sized girl. Even at 25 I'm only 5'2 and only a little over 100lbs. I'm tiny, fragile and my immune system totally sucks. So when I get sick, it's a little alarming, because it could get...bad if I'm not careful.) After my initial cold, I got better and went out with my cousin to a club for her 21st birthday. (That was interesting, never been to a club before!) Regardless, we both caught a bad strain of a cold while we were out, and we were both sick for about two weeks. Hers stayed a cold -- mine got worse and I got flu-like symptoms. So, besides my usual medical issues, I was taking extra medicine to basically get through the days. It was scary for a bit. We thought I might get ammonia. That happened to me once when I was a kid and I almost died. So...that was pretty scary. The family's had two funerals this year already -- I certainly didn't want to cause another and I most definitely don't want to die. I'm pleased to announce that after much struggle, I'm finally 100% better, as confirmed by a doctor! Yay~! So...even though stuff can be tough sometimes, I'm always gonna keep my chin up, because that's important. I'm alive, I'm okay, I'm healthy again -- and there are lots of things in life I can still enjoy. As usual, I'm gonna fight through my medical issue -- I really hope to bring great news there eventually -- and despite the losses in my life (it wasn't a death, but I lost a close friend this year, too, so not the *best* year for that sort of thing) I know I can get past it and move on. I'm so thrilled to be healthy, honestly, I'm ready for whatever life's gonna throw at me. I really can't wait to start the physical therapy even if I'm a little scared about more pain. I've been through a lot, and I just want to feel "normal" again. I want to go out with my cousin and enjoy myself, have a drink, giggle about boys (she's boy crazy, so she always has a story for me which is good -- because I'm not. xD) y'know just...20 something stuff. Might seem a little childish for mid-twenties, but I've never been able to do that stuff thanks to my troubles. Here's looking to the future, right? ^_~ There's always something good around the corner, I just know it. Definitely! So to anyone else with troubles -- try to remember that, okay? We've all got personal pain, personal problems...but there's really beautiful and good stuff in life, too. When I'm hurting, I try very hard to remember that. It's tough sometimes when there's so much bad to focus on the good -- but, hey! It's not impossible. I think I prove that nicely considering the pain (physical and mental) I go through everyday. I've never straight up admitted just how bad it is on here, but there you have it. Regardless, I know that life's gonna get better. There's always a silver lining somewhere, and I'll never stop searching for it, no matter what. Um...so that's that! Eheh, I certainly said a lot, huh? I've had these things bottled up for months given I've only logged in here from my phone which makes it impossible to type something like this. Since this is a rare day that I've managed my pain okay, I thought I'd pop in and get some stuff off of my chest. I'm sorry to go on about myself so much when there are others with problems as well, I truly hope I don't come across selfishly. I just really...needed a vent -- that's what this is for, right? Still, if you really stuck with this 'till the end, I'm sorry you had to listen to my rambles, really! Still...if you did stick to this and read it all through -- thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read my words, listen to my thoughts and hear my inner-heart. I'm still a little embarrassed to type so much, but I've always been bad about not knowing how to shorten stories. Any of the older members here should know that. Sorry, guys~
I was only able to address Haruhi's trouble as I knew I had very much to type, but I wish all of you the best. I hope next time I can focus a bit more on you guys and a lot less on myself! So, please, everyone, take care of yourselves, stay in good health and keep yourself safe. Also, stay warm if you happen to be in the colder part of the year! (We certainly are over here, brr!) When I'm able to visit next, I hope a lot of you that might not be right now are eventually smiling. I wish you all the best. ♥
PS: I feel a lot better *after* typing that then when I started, so I guess I needed to share. Y'know, I'm normally a private person, but it's always been easy for me to chat here, even there are a lot of new faces I don't recognize. You guys seem like nice people. Hopefully I can get to know some of you better in the future. ^_~
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PinkFloyd
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October 18, 2015, 1:10 pm
Post #919
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Feels like I really am Stuck in heavenly host
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I sucked total shit at my Marching band slow cause of how much of a slow fuck I am. I just want to cry and drink and even that won't stop the pain
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haruhi suzumiya
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October 19, 2015, 6:21 pm
Post #920
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हेप्पी!
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- Mayu Suzumoto
- October 16, 2015, 10:55 pm
@haruhi suzumiya: Hello. I realize I'm a little late to this, but I just wanted to apologize to what befell you and your family. To be honest, like most, I'm at a bit of a loss given my shock upon reading this. I'm just really, really sorry. I'm even moreso sorry that I'm offline so often and couldn't Skype with you to try to offer any comfort -- if I could even give any -- but still, to just talk with you and try... I'm truly sorry. If you ever want to get anything off of your chest, feel free to message me. I'm sadly unreliable at getting back to others' these days due to some personal misfortunes over the last few months, but even if you just need someone to listen, y'know. I'm really happy that at least there were some around able to offer you some comfort. ♥ Please take care of yourself, Haruhi. ♥ My troubles. It's a bit long, but I'm summarizing a few months, so it can't be helped. I just needed a vent, badly, eheh. My problems suddenly feel rather small after I read of Haruhi's misfortune, but as I'm commenting here, I thought I should probably mention them, anyway. I can't recall if I said so or not, but an Uncle of mine passed away early April, shortly before my birthday. He was a caregiver to my great-grandfather who has many health difficulties. Truly...there were truly many times when we thought my great-grandfather would pass, but he overcame so much hardship, I think we all started to assume he'd never pass on, y'know? To overcome so many things... Anyway...for his sake, we didn't tell him about my Uncle at first. We pretended my Uncle was admitted to the same hospital he was (since my Uncle passed and we didn't find out for a few days, we're not sure how long my great-grandfather was alone in the house. His nurse that would come by to visit found him. He couldn't walk, but that's probably best -- he didn't have to see my Uncle's body. So we were able to pretend for a bit that my Uncle was admitted to the same hospital, different ward. He did have head trauma from an accident a few years ago, so we went with that. After a bit of time, we told him he passed away in the hospital. He never found out otherwise. We couldn't tell him. How could we tell him? He was living with my Uncle for so long and unfortunately due to familial problems, the whole family was broken into pieces due to a fight all of the adults (we were kids back then) had ages ago. Another Uncle of mine waded through each fractured family and would tell us lies about the other families and make it worse -- we all thought terribly of each other and none of it was actually true. The Uncle that would lie...I can't really tell you his reasoning. (He's not the Uncle that passed on.) Still, he was a major reason that the families didn't speak -- we were all practically told "so and so hates you" "so and so doesn't want to speak with you again," etc. Um, so of course my Uncle Robert passing brought us back together. Billy (the Uncle who spread so many lies -- hence my simply using his name as I'm quite upset with him) didn't show up to the memorial service. It's not like he wasn't allowed, but he definitely wasn't wanted. The family came back together, while it was sadly at the expense of my Uncle's life. Still. I think he would have been happy to have us all together again. Apparently he had tons of photos of all of us younger ones, his nieces and nephews in his room -- which made me happy. I hadn't spoken to him in years so I had no clue how he felt about me. I'm the eldest of the nieces and nephews at 25 -- the rest are early twenties or late teens. So...in that regard, I try to be thankful that I remember a little more about my Uncle and great-grandfather than my fellow cousins. My great-grandfather gave up after he learned about my Uncle, his caregiver, died. We tried hard to be there for him, but we couldn't replace the man who had been by his side, selflessly giving up his own personal life for his care. He just...gave up. There were medical reasons, but I honestly think he died of a broken heart. You know how they say that happens with married couples -- that one can't go on without the other? Pretty sure that's what happened. Twice in one year I've woken up to my mom sobbing into the phone, saying "This can't be true!" It was hard enough with my Uncle, but to have my great-grandfather pass in such a short time...ah. It was mentally exhausting. Painful. Etc. All I can really say is that our family is stronger than ever, at least. I have my special cousin back. Her and I grew up together and were apart for 8 years because of a ridiculous argument that had nothing to do with either of us. We were kids back then and were practically forced to take sides and had an utter lack of contact as a result. She's like my little sister. She's the best. I have...a serious medical problem. Very serious. Not life-threatening--but my quality of life is pretty difficult. I'm in physical pain everyday, I don't leave the house very often because of said pain and all of my friendships have crumbled due to my lack of contact. It's been lonely. I'm always pretty peppy and positive, but deep in my heart I've always been lonely. I feel like having her back in my life filled a void that nobody else could. When I'm with her, my physical pain seems to melt away, like a distant dream. I feel like a normal woman. Since then, we've done tons of things together and it makes me happy, but it pains me to think that the family suffered two sacrifices, so to speak, before we came together again. Still...I have to look at the silver lining. Yep. I can do that. I'm good at doing that, I think! I'm sorry if I sounded a little...un-Mayu-like there? Anyone who knows me personally here knows I'm pretty positive. I do my best to carry that, but telling this story was a bit tough. So! I guess some sadness came through. Still, I'm trying my best to stay strong. Besides the two passings, I underwent a surgery I believe I mentioned a bit ago. No venting there actually, it helped me out and is still helping me out -- my physical pain has lessened. There's no cure for what I have, so I'm truly grateful for anything that can help me. Apparently I'll be going to a pain management class within a few months that will be tough, admittedly, and will require physical therapy that might hurt...but it's better than being stuck in the house on medicine the rest of the life, y'know? I'm tired of it. I've been going out more since my cousin came back into my life, but there's still many days where it hurts so much, I'm stuck in bed. This Specialist has truly helped me over the past year though, so I'm 100% positive that within 6 months, I can pop back in here and sound a lot better. Time heals wounds. I'll be doing my best to heal my body. It's tough to talk about, but it's why I'm so godawful and unreliable at answering messages anywhere. Facebook, tumblr, here, etc...I feel awful when I reach out to help someone and then suddenly I can't respond for months because I can't even make it to my desktop. I'm really sorry to anyone here that I've done that to. (Um, Kishinuma-kun. I really, really am sorry. I feel awful about not being able to get back to you yet. Just terrible. My sincerest apologies.) On a final note, I just got over a severe cold/flu that's been circulating over here in the States, from what I understand. I was sick with a general cold about a week and then got better, but then I caught it again. (I'm seriously a Mayu-sized girl. Even at 25 I'm only 5'2 and only a little over 100lbs. I'm tiny, fragile and my immune system totally sucks. So when I get sick, it's a little alarming, because it could get...bad if I'm not careful.) After my initial cold, I got better and went out with my cousin to a club for her 21st birthday. (That was interesting, never been to a club before!) Regardless, we both caught a bad strain of a cold while we were out, and we were both sick for about two weeks. Hers stayed a cold -- mine got worse and I got flu-like symptoms. So, besides my usual medical issues, I was taking extra medicine to basically get through the days. It was scary for a bit. We thought I might get ammonia. That happened to me once when I was a kid and I almost died. So...that was pretty scary. The family's had two funerals this year already -- I certainly didn't want to cause another and I most definitely don't want to die. I'm pleased to announce that after much struggle, I'm finally 100% better, as confirmed by a doctor! Yay~! So...even though stuff can be tough sometimes, I'm always gonna keep my chin up, because that's important. I'm alive, I'm okay, I'm healthy again -- and there are lots of things in life I can still enjoy. As usual, I'm gonna fight through my medical issue -- I really hope to bring great news there eventually -- and despite the losses in my life (it wasn't a death, but I lost a close friend this year, too, so not the *best* year for that sort of thing) I know I can get past it and move on. I'm so thrilled to be healthy, honestly, I'm ready for whatever life's gonna throw at me. I really can't wait to start the physical therapy even if I'm a little scared about more pain. I've been through a lot, and I just want to feel "normal" again. I want to go out with my cousin and enjoy myself, have a drink, giggle about boys (she's boy crazy, so she always has a story for me which is good -- because I'm not. xD) y'know just...20 something stuff. Might seem a little childish for mid-twenties, but I've never been able to do that stuff thanks to my troubles. Here's looking to the future, right? ^_~ There's always something good around the corner, I just know it. Definitely! So to anyone else with troubles -- try to remember that, okay? We've all got personal pain, personal problems...but there's really beautiful and good stuff in life, too. When I'm hurting, I try very hard to remember that. It's tough sometimes when there's so much bad to focus on the good -- but, hey! It's not impossible. I think I prove that nicely considering the pain (physical and mental) I go through everyday. I've never straight up admitted just how bad it is on here, but there you have it. Regardless, I know that life's gonna get better. There's always a silver lining somewhere, and I'll never stop searching for it, no matter what. Um...so that's that! Eheh, I certainly said a lot, huh? I've had these things bottled up for months given I've only logged in here from my phone which makes it impossible to type something like this. Since this is a rare day that I've managed my pain okay, I thought I'd pop in and get some stuff off of my chest. I'm sorry to go on about myself so much when there are others with problems as well, I truly hope I don't come across selfishly. I just really...needed a vent -- that's what this is for, right? Still, if you really stuck with this 'till the end, I'm sorry you had to listen to my rambles, really! Still...if you did stick to this and read it all through -- thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read my words, listen to my thoughts and hear my inner-heart. I'm still a little embarrassed to type so much, but I've always been bad about not knowing how to shorten stories. Any of the older members here should know that. Sorry, guys~ I was only able to address Haruhi's trouble as I knew I had very much to type, but I wish all of you the best. I hope next time I can focus a bit more on you guys and a lot less on myself! So, please, everyone, take care of yourselves, stay in good health and keep yourself safe. Also, stay warm if you happen to be in the colder part of the year! (We certainly are over here, brr!) When I'm able to visit next, I hope a lot of you that might not be right now are eventually smiling. I wish you all the best. ♥ PS: I feel a lot better *after* typing that then when I started, so I guess I needed to share. Y'know, I'm normally a private person, but it's always been easy for me to chat here, even there are a lot of new faces I don't recognize. You guys seem like nice people. Hopefully I can get to know some of you better in the future. ^_~
AW!!!!!!
I am so sorry for not seeing this very early, mayu. Please forgive me.
Thank you. But from what i saw in your personal behalf, i am sorry for you.
Spoiler: click to toggle i think it is for the best that you 'pretend' your uncle never passed. But i did it in a spiritual sense. Meaning i knew my mom passed away, but in reality, she is with me always. Looking for me to move on and be the best i can be! Phantom told me that advice, so god bless him. I again, am sorry for your loss. But stay strong mayu! We both lost eachother's loved ones and if i can pull through than so can you. If you need someone to talk to i am here for you. Also kilijuan2 is my skype. 
I feel bad that i didnt have much else to say... Sorry. But i care about every word you typed and i am here if you Ever need someone. You can talk to me.
Also i feel bad now for pming you about shigitou. If i knew you were under some deep stuff i would have not pm'ed you about that. (Infact i would be talking to you.^^)
Thank you mayu and i hope we can chat sometime.
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#lovenaho!
adore me. Cure me. Bruise me. Kill me.
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11:50 AM Jul 13