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| How men amuse themselves in Tesco | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 12th February 2010 - 07:33 PM (71 Views) | |
| Silver fox | 12th February 2010 - 07:33 PM Post #1 |
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford : Dear Mrs. Murray, Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme. 11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels. 12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!' 13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.' And; last, but not least: 14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.' |
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| Danger Mouse | 12th February 2010 - 07:45 PM Post #2 |
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| slimwilly | 12th February 2010 - 07:58 PM Post #3 |
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Don't take the pith
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Very good
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Treat every day as its the last,,,one day it will be ! | |
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| scragrat | 12th February 2010 - 08:25 PM Post #4 |
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Very good! I have used the condom one myself, I dropped a pack into a mates basket when he wasn't looking You should have seen the look on his face, and the cashier's when he unpacked them onto the conveyor belt I've also used the can of Femfresh one on another mate! Ask your Dorris if you don't know what Femfresh is!
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| photopro | 13th February 2010 - 01:57 AM Post #5 |
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I am ashamed to admit I have set the alarm clocks and kitchen timers on a few occasions. Also whilst in the lingerie department declare in a loud voice "you wouldn't think she would wear them would you". Seriously though you do get some surprises !! photopro |
![]() Shotgun Certificate & Firearms Certificate Section 1, DSC1 & DSC2 also DCS Registered. Forestry Commission Deer Management Licence Holder | |
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| slimwilly | 13th February 2010 - 08:28 AM Post #6 |
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Don't take the pith
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That tomato juice one is the pits
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Treat every day as its the last,,,one day it will be ! | |
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| Nige | 13th February 2010 - 09:16 AM Post #7 |
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Resident Carpenter
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Some excellent ideas there Fortunately for me, my wife has learned that it is not a good idea to take me shopping (something to do with using the trolley as a dodgem car - which the kids love) so I don't (generally) have to go!
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Location :- Hull Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat! Don't let your mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone! | |
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8:30 PM Jul 11