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Letter from an Irish Mother to her Son
Topic Started: 21st February 2010 - 10:38 PM (52 Views)
hawkeye
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR





Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive.

I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well.

You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived

here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine.. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father

offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days.

Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in

back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Your loving Mum

P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope. -Fun1- -Fun1-
MIKE

Hawkeye the noooooooooooo



CLICK TO WATCH

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Nige
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Resident Carpenter

*lol* *lol* *dielaugh*
Location :- Hull

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat!

Don't let your mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone!
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Danger Mouse
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert

Love this bit 'Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.' *dielaugh*
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

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Danger Mouse
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert

Paddy has just got his 2nd question right on who wants to be a millionaire ... and is now on 200 quid

heres the 3rd question ... who was the great train robber ? was it A ... ronnie bigs ..B .. ronnie barker or C.. ronnie parker ? ........

Paddy says "well chris I've had a lovely time and I'm going to take the 200 quid"

Chris says "are you fecking stupid? You have all your life lines left"

Paddy says 'I might be stupid Chris but I'm not a fecking grass' -angry2-
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

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Nige
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Resident Carpenter

*lol* *lol*
Location :- Hull

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat!

Don't let your mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone!
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