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| Think before you speak | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 11th March 2007 - 08:51 PM (88 Views) | |
| hawkeye | 11th March 2007 - 08:51 PM Post #1 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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> >Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last >one is great! >Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the >words back... >or that you could crawl into a hole? >Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... > > >FIRST TESTIMONY: >I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and >asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" >I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband >didn't say a word... >he knew better. > > >SECOND TESTIMONY: >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. >I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. >After browsing for several minutes, >I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the >store. >He asked if he could help me. >Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing >with men's balls" > >THIRD TESTIMONY: >My sister and I were at the mall and >passed by a store that sold a >variety of candy and nuts. >As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter >asked if we needed any help. >I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." >My sister started to laugh hysterically. >The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. >To this day, >my sister has never let me forget. > > >FOURTH TESTIMONY: >While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release >some pent-up energy and ran amok. >I was finally able to grab hold of >her after receiving looks of disgust >and annoyance from other patrons. >I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be >punished. >To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as >threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma >that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" >The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. >Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. >I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my >daughter in tow. >The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of >laughter. > > >FIFTH TESTIMONY: >Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? >My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I >was on him constantly. >One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands >It was very busy, with a full dining room. >While enjoying my taco, >I smelled something funny, >so of course I checked >my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. >Then I realized that Danny >had not asked to go potty in a while. >I asked him if he needed to go, >and he said "No". >I kept thinking >"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes >with me." >Then I said, >"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" >"No," he replied. >I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was >getting worse. >Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident? This >time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks >and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" >While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he >calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. >An old couple made me feel better, >thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! > > >LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: >This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very >embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think >before she speaks. >What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! >We had a female news anchor that, >the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the >weatherman and asked: >"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" >Not only did HE have to leave the set, >but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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| jonrms | 11th March 2007 - 09:54 PM Post #2 |
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daddy of da youngest mem of HW "Ethan"
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About time!!! A GREAT READ!!! I laughed and laughed....
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| Hunter world rules...HD can kiss my latex butt | |
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| hawkeye | 11th March 2007 - 10:08 PM Post #3 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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If you laughed you must be on medication cos you are normally a miserable git......... I didnt say that it was HORSE (sutty) he told me that today
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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| jonrms | 11th March 2007 - 10:10 PM Post #4 |
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daddy of da youngest mem of HW "Ethan"
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*Freak* Ratsel.. fratzel.... son of a ..... and you call me a miserable git!!! :P Take that!!! :P **stoned**
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| Hunter world rules...HD can kiss my latex butt | |
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| hawkeye | 11th March 2007 - 10:38 PM Post #5 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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| darebear | 12th March 2007 - 01:33 AM Post #6 |
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B.I.T.C.H.
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scars are history, written on the body. | |
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| Danger Mouse | 13th March 2007 - 12:07 AM Post #7 |
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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8:04 PM Jul 11