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Think before you speak
Topic Started: 11th March 2007 - 08:51 PM (88 Views)
hawkeye
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR

>
>Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last
>one is great!
>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
>words back...
>or that you could crawl into a hole?
>Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>
>
>FIRST TESTIMONY:
>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
>asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
>I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband
>didn't say a word...
>he knew better.
>
>
>SECOND TESTIMONY:
>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
>I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
>After browsing for several minutes,
>I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the
>store.
>He asked if he could help me.
>Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
>with men's balls"
>
>THIRD TESTIMONY:
>My sister and I were at the mall and
>passed by a store that sold a
>variety of candy and nuts.
>As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
>asked if we needed any help.
>I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
>My sister started to laugh hysterically.
>The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
>To this day,
>my sister has never let me forget.
>
>
>FOURTH TESTIMONY:
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
>some pent-up energy and ran amok.
>I was finally able to grab hold of
>her after receiving looks of disgust
>and annoyance from other patrons.
>I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
>punished.
>To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
>that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
>The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
>Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
>I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my

>daughter in tow.
>The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of
>laughter.
>
>
>FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
>My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
>was on him constantly.
>One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
>It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>While enjoying my taco,
>I smelled something funny,
>so of course I checked
>my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
>Then I realized that Danny
>had not asked to go potty in a while.
>I asked him if he needed to go,
>and he said "No".
>I kept thinking
>"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
>with me."
>Then I said,
>"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>"No," he replied.
>I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
>getting worse.
>Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident? This
>time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks
>and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
>While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
>calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
>An old couple made me feel better,
>thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
>
>LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
>embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
>before she speaks.
>What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
>We had a female news anchor that,
>the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
>weatherman and asked:
>"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
>Not only did HE have to leave the set,
>but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!



*dielaugh* *dielaugh* *dielaugh* *dielaugh* *dielaugh* *dielaugh*
MIKE

Hawkeye the noooooooooooo



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jonrms
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daddy of da youngest mem of HW "Ethan"
About time!!!


A GREAT READ!!!


I laughed and laughed....


**bravo** *dielaugh* **bravo** *dielaugh* **bravo** -Fun1-
Hunter world rules...HD can kiss my latex butt
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hawkeye
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR

If you laughed you must be on medication cos you are normally a miserable git.........

I didnt say that it was HORSE (sutty) he told me that today *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa*
MIKE

Hawkeye the noooooooooooo



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jonrms
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daddy of da youngest mem of HW "Ethan"
hawkeye
Mar 11 2007, 09:08 PM
If you laughed you must be on medication cos you are normally a miserable git.........

I didnt say that it was HORSE (sutty) he told me that today *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa*

*Freak* Ratsel.. fratzel.... son of a ..... *V-Smiley*


and you call me a miserable git!!! *V-Smiley*










:P Take that!!! :P

-Fun1- -Fun1- *dielaugh* -Fun1- -Fun1- **stoned**
Hunter world rules...HD can kiss my latex butt
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hawkeye
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR

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MIKE

Hawkeye the noooooooooooo



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darebear
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B.I.T.C.H.
*lol* *lol* *lol* *lol* *lol* *dielaugh*



scars are history, written on the body.
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Danger Mouse
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert

*lol* *lol*
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

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