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| Disorder in the Courts of America, | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 19th March 2007 - 04:48 PM (69 Views) | |
| hawkeye | 19th March 2007 - 04:48 PM Post #1 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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| photopro | 19th March 2007 - 05:09 PM Post #2 |
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Nearly as funny as when I posted it the end of last year !! photopro |
![]() Shotgun Certificate & Firearms Certificate Section 1, DSC1 & DSC2 also DCS Registered. Forestry Commission Deer Management Licence Holder | |
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| hawkeye | 19th March 2007 - 05:22 PM Post #3 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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Dont tell me i missed something you posted :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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| Danger Mouse | 19th March 2007 - 06:18 PM Post #4 |
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert
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I still laughed though! :D |
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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| jonrms | 20th March 2007 - 11:30 AM Post #5 |
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daddy of da youngest mem of HW "Ethan"
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it was funny!
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| Hunter world rules...HD can kiss my latex butt | |
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| darebear | 25th March 2007 - 09:44 PM Post #6 |
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B.I.T.C.H.
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scars are history, written on the body. | |
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8:02 PM Jul 11