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PUNS
Topic Started: 30th November 2008 - 07:21 PM (68 Views)
Silver fox
Member
PUNS INTENDED.... You've probably heard most of them before but a groan every now and then won't hurt

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

6. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Molly," I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you,"
Says Molly. "No bull!" exclaims Daisy.

8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

9. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

10. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

11. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know You can't - I've cut off your arms!"

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were Standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off "Because", he said, "We can't have chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes To a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to His birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she Wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

19. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
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photopro
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Admin
Oh dear !! :blink:
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Shotgun Certificate & Firearms Certificate Section 1, DSC1 & DSC2 also DCS Registered. Forestry Commission Deer Management Licence Holder

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Danger Mouse
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert

I enjoyed them. :D *lol*
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

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ricochet
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F.A.R.T
no groans here..but it did make me chuckle *lol*
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I love animals.. They taste delicious

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slimwilly
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Don't take the pith
*aaaa* i have driven three hundred and twenty miles today , got back home .logged in to read this, oh dear"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!CRAP *dance* *QQQ* *dance*
Treat every day as its the last,,,one day it will be !
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