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| lifted from PW | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 7th December 2008 - 11:13 AM (59 Views) | |
| hawkeye | 7th December 2008 - 11:13 AM Post #1 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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Q: How can you tell if a blond has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet. Q: What does a blond put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What do you say to a Blond that won't give in? A: "Have another beer." Q: What do Blonds say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: What does a screen door and a blond have in common? A: The more you bang it the looser it gets. Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common? A: They both wriggle when you eat them. Q: Why was the blonds' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blond too. Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots. Q: What does a blond owl say? A: What, what? Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass? A: A brain tumor. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blonds upside-down? A: Two brunettes. Q: What's the Blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blond, I'm blond, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blond, I'm blond, yea yea yea..." Q: Why did the blond scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: Why did the blond fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. Q: Why did the blond smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: Why do blonds give such good blowjobs? A: Because that's what they train for all their lives. Q: Why did the blond tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. Q: Why did the blond have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK". Q: Why did the blond keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car. Q: Why did the blond tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read. Q: Why did God create blonds? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did the blond wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. Q: Why did the blond drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off. Q: Why did the blond try and steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche. Q: Why didn't the blond want a window seat on the plane? A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much. Q: Why did the blond stop using the pill? A: Because it kept falling out. Q: Why did the blond get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. Q: How do you confuse a blond? A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. Q: Why does it work? A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?" Q: Why did the blond call the welfare office? A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps! Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip? A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay). Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....? A: A blond doing cartwheels. Q: What is the connection between a blond and a halogen headlamp? A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort. Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver? A: She missed the Earth! Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant? A: She blew it both times. Q: How do you know when a blonds been in your fridge? A: Lipstick on the cucumbers! Q: What do a blond and an instant lottery ticket have in common? A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win. Q: What is the difference between a blond and an inflatable doll? A: About 2 cans of hair spray Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blonds pants? A: Pick them up off the floor. Q: Why don't they let Blonds swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina? A1: The Blond! Q: What did the blond say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'? A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the boobs.' Q: What did the blond say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!" Q: What did the blond name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: Why are blonds like cornflakes ? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. Q: Why can't blonds put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: Why can't blonds be cattle ranchers? A: They can't keep their calves together! Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Hump me Dump me. Q: What did the blond customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag) ? A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?" Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blond going through a flashing red light. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blond drives a car? A: Because she blows the horn! Q: Why is a blond like a door knob? A: Because everybody gets a turn. Q: Why is a blond like railroad tracks? A: Because she's been laid all over the country. Q: What does a blond do if she is not in bed by 10? A: She picks up her purse and goes home. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod... Q: What is the difference between a blond and a refrigerator? A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it. Q: Did you hear about the blond couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman? A: A deaf and dumb blond nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub. Q: Why is a blond like an old washing machine? A: They both drip when they're fooked. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry! Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night. Q: A blond is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!" Q: A blond ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door. Q: Why did the blond keep failing her driver's test? A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat. __________________
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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| Nige | 7th December 2008 - 11:22 AM Post #2 |
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Resident Carpenter
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I thought most of them were funny - my (blond haired) wife didn't
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Location :- Hull Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat! Don't let your mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone! | |
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| hawkeye | 7th December 2008 - 03:11 PM Post #3 |
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR
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Are you sure its blonde and not grey..
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MIKE Hawkeye the noooooooooooo CLICK TO WATCH
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- my (blond haired) wife didn't

3:25 PM Jul 11