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lifted from PW
Topic Started: 7th December 2008 - 11:13 AM (59 Views)
hawkeye
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR


Q: How can you tell if a blond has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blond put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blond that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blonds say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blond have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blonds' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blond too.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blond owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blonds upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blond, I'm blond, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blond, I'm blond, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blond scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blond fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blond smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blonds give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blond tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blond have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blond keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blond tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blonds?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did the blond wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blond drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blond try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blond want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blond stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blond get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How do you confuse a blond?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"

Q: Why did the blond call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blond and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.

Q: How do you know when a blonds been in your fridge?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blond and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What is the difference between a blond and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blonds pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: Why don't they let Blonds swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blond!

Q: What did the blond say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the boobs.'

Q: What did the blond say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: What did the blond name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: Why are blonds like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Why can't blonds put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: Why can't blonds be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Hump me Dump me.

Q: What did the blond customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blond going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blond drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blond like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blond like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: What does a blond do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blond and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

Q: Did you hear about the blond couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blond nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: Why is a blond like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fooked.

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: A blond is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: A blond ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blond keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
__________________ -Fun1-
MIKE

Hawkeye the noooooooooooo



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Nige
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Resident Carpenter

I thought most of them were funny *lol* - my (blond haired) wife didn't *dielaugh*
Location :- Hull

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat!

Don't let your mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone!
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hawkeye
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CROW & FOX Killer BUT scared SHITLESS of DAREBEAR

Nige
Dec 7 2008, 10:22 AM
I thought most of them were funny *lol* - my (blond haired) wife didn't *dielaugh*

Are you sure its blonde and not grey.. *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa* *aaaa*
MIKE

Hawkeye the noooooooooooo



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