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| Jokes to offend everyone | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 22nd January 2009 - 05:18 PM (80 Views) | |
| win22 | 22nd January 2009 - 05:18 PM Post #1 |
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R.F.D
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Pinched from another forum Jokes to offend everyone A history teacher asks a class "What was Churchill famous for?" A kid at the back shouts out “He was the last white man to be called Winston” What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law? About 2.3 pounds including the urn. Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans. Got through to a call centre in Pakistan . Told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane...... A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says “Show me it's true what they say about black men”... So he stabbed her and nicked her purse. I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me... “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fcuk off you tw4t” A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving. “Excuse me do I know you?” he asks. “Yes, I think you are the father of one of my kids” she says. The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'F***ing hell are you the bird I sha**ed on my stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a feather up my &rse?” 'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!' What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair? Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists. A bride on her wedding night says to her husband “I must confess darling, I was a hooker” He says “That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it”.” She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan” A man says to his wife “Tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time”.She replied 'You've got a bigger dick than your brother' |
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| photopro | 22nd January 2009 - 06:29 PM Post #2 |
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![]() Shotgun Certificate & Firearms Certificate Section 1, DSC1 & DSC2 also DCS Registered. Forestry Commission Deer Management Licence Holder | |
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| slimwilly | 22nd January 2009 - 07:57 PM Post #3 |
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Don't take the pith
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:D yippeee ,funny as f*** |
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Treat every day as its the last,,,one day it will be ! | |
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| Danger Mouse | 22nd January 2009 - 09:27 PM Post #4 |
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
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3:24 PM Jul 11