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Jokes to offend everyone
Topic Started: 22nd January 2009 - 05:18 PM (80 Views)
win22
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R.F.D
Pinched from another forum
Jokes to offend everyone

A history teacher asks a class "What was Churchill famous for?"
A kid at the back shouts out “He was the last white man to be called Winston”


What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.


Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans.
Got through to a call centre in Pakistan .
Told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane......


A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says “Show me it's true what they say about black men”... So he stabbed her and nicked her purse.


I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
“Oi, what's your disability?”
I said “Tourettes! Now fcuk off you tw4t”


A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
“Excuse me do I know you?” he asks. “Yes, I think you are the father of one of my kids” she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'F***ing hell are you the bird I sha**ed on my stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a feather up my &rse?”

'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'


What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.


A bride on her wedding night says to her husband “I must confess darling, I was a hooker”
He says “That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it”.”
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan”


A man says to his wife “Tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time”.She replied 'You've got a bigger dick than your brother'
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photopro
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Admin
*giggle*
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slimwilly
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Don't take the pith
:D yippeee ,funny as f***
Treat every day as its the last,,,one day it will be !
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Danger Mouse
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Resident Sea Fishing and Pest Control expert

*lol*
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? ....... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

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