|
Chat OT
|
|
Topic Started: Jan 30 2013, 10:20 PM (722,405 Views)
|
|
Bunny
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:34 PM
Post #35351
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,469
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #164
- Joined:
- Jun 2, 2013
|
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 05:11 PM
thanks. i will probably stick with ios6 then. i really like how the wallpaper is now bigger on the lock screen though. i might get a s@msung when my iph0ne dies. i actually have a g@l@xy S4, it's a nice phone but i'm just too used to appl3 but you might want to get two batteries for s@msung, the battery dies really fast.
|
|
|
| |
|
orangedaffodils
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:36 PM
Post #35352
|
|
Let ε <0
- Posts:
- 4,094
- Group:
- Moderator
- Member
- #102
- Joined:
- Feb 26, 2013
|
- Yuwree
- Sep 25 2013, 11:48 AM
Question of interest, what was the British Colonials solution tot he native Indians? Or was it just the 'reserves'? Has it worked? Sorry I just woke up lol
long Native Americans probably have the shortest end of the stick in our society - they're usually ignored and concerns dismissed. Back in the day, (like 1800's to early 1900's) the government released a series of census polls to determine who is NA. What they didn't tell people is that if you answered honestly, you'd get shoved into these newly formed reservations. At this point is when if you were white passing, you could change your name and assimilate in and not be shipped off.
Reservations don't work. According to federal policy at the time, Natives were bound to the fixed land if they wanted to continue their traditional ways of living. The problem with this besides the moral issue of depriving a people of life on their historic land, is that it resulted in a lot of economic problems: nomadic tribes lost their entire means of subsistence by being confined to a fixed area. Farmers had land unsuitable for agriculture. Many lacked the knowledge to implement complex irrigation systems and hostile tribes were often forced into the same area together - it was a mess. Then the Dawes Act came in attempting to "Americanize" them: their tribal languages were not taught in schools, names were forced to be changed, etc. Some tribes did it willingly (and pride themselves on being the first to assimilate, like the Choctaw) but most didn't. By the time the Dawes Act got repealed, Native Americans had the highest rates of suicides, alcoholism, illiteracy and poverty in the country.
Reservations today function more independently, but there are a lot of things wrong with that. Native women are the highest demographic for victims of rape - their rate of sexual assault is more than twice the national average. non-native men will come onto the reservation to do just that and their crime would have to be dealt with in tribal court which doesn't work and because reservations suffer from poverty, their access to women's health care (like Plan B contraception) is limited. The federal justice department doesn't want to even touch the issue it seems b/c of whatever reason idrk but it's really a big problem right now.
|
|
|
| |
|
Bunny
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:38 PM
Post #35353
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,469
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #164
- Joined:
- Jun 2, 2013
|
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 05:11 PM
thanks. i will probably stick with ios6 then. i really like how the wallpaper is now bigger on the lock screen though. i might get a s@msung when my iph0ne dies. oops double post
|
|
|
| |
|
babycakes
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
Post #35354
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,500
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #134
- Joined:
- Apr 24, 2013
|
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 05:23 PM
Honestly I don't really know how to start this and i'm bad at expressing my feeling in english (bad grammar), but at least I hope you can understand a bit of my problem and can give me some advice. Once again pardon my english Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore. Btw thank you Thanks for sharing. (And your English is perfectly fine, no need to be self-conscious)
I don't know if I'll be of any help to you, I'm not good at giving advice and I've no experience with your situation. But do you mean that you feel disheartened/insecure because that comment made you start to question your gender identity or just the liking girls part? If the second, then well, we can pretty much all relate haha
anon I don't think learning dialects is comparable to learning whole different languages (e.g. I know more dialects than languages) because y'know grammar and stuff. And I suppose we should all be learning mandarin anyway even if I have no interest in doing so.
|
|
|
| |
|
Rexie
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:46 PM
Post #35355
|
|
Your friendly neighborhood T-Rex
- Posts:
- 5,608
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #153
- Joined:
- May 19, 2013
|
- Bunny
- Sep 25 2013, 05:27 PM
- Rexie
- Sep 25 2013, 05:11 PM
I only go to gym because I got free offer hahaha, aint paying for dat shit
i'm going to gym tonight I exercised for about an hour, i still cant fathom how i didnt really sweat, i just got slightly sticky but never drenched. Anyone of u guis dont sweat? I dont feel very healthy atm
|
|
|
| |
|
Lingerie_Anon
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:46 PM
Post #35356
|
|
Unregistered
|
Tribox :) Hey bb! Wish I could answer you wayyy better, but I’m at work, therefore I bounce around the internet a lot. ^^ Anyways. My heart goes out to you so much. Like, I had the opposite problem, kinda. I’ve always been quite feminine, so when I came out to my parents there was SUPER SHOCK. haha I’m not sure what country you’re from, so I won’t even start lecturing on being “out and proud” until you’re ready and safe. As for your style--as long as you’re comfortable in your skin, embrace that. That teacher was being quite unprofessional by calling you out like that. Boo them.
Btw: Have you looked through our new-ish LGBTQ thread? There may be some helpful stuff for you to read through, since I’m sure that others can relate. Maybe you could post on there, too, so it won’t get lost in discussion. :3
And your english is fine! I understood everything.
|
|
|
| |
|
Bunny
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:50 PM
Post #35357
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,469
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #164
- Joined:
- Jun 2, 2013
|
- Rexie
- Sep 25 2013, 05:46 PM
- Bunny
- Sep 25 2013, 05:27 PM
- Rexie
- Sep 25 2013, 05:11 PM
I only go to gym because I got free offer hahaha, aint paying for dat shit
i'm going to gym tonight
I exercised for about an hour, i still cant fathom how i didnt really sweat, i just got slightly sticky but never drenched. Anyone of u guis dont sweat? I dont feel very healthy atm i sweat a lot, too much i think
|
|
|
| |
|
Anon
|
Sep 25 2013, 05:52 PM
Post #35358
|
|
Unregistered
|
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
anon I don't think learning dialects is comparable to learning whole different languages (e.g. I know more dialects than languages) because y'know grammar and stuff. And I suppose we should all be learning mandarin anyway even if I have no interest in doing so. okay i see where you are coming from. i have been shaping up my mandarin, i think the more you get to use it, the more interest you will have in the language. it's proven to be really useful for me.
- Quote:
-
i actually have a g@l@xy S4, it's a nice phone but i'm just too used to appl3  but you might want to get two batteries for s@msung, the battery dies really fast.
thanks for the advice, i'm not too picky on brands.
|
|
|
| |
|
TriBox
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
Post #35359
|
|
- Posts:
- 25
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #272
- Joined:
- Sep 25, 2013
|
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 05:23 PM
Honestly I don't really know how to start this and i'm bad at expressing my feeling in english (bad grammar), but at least I hope you can understand a bit of my problem and can give me some advice. Once again pardon my english Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore. Btw thank you
Thanks for sharing.  (And your English is perfectly fine, no need to be self-conscious) I don't know if I'll be of any help to you, I'm not good at giving advice and I've no experience with your situation. But do you mean that you feel disheartened/insecure because that comment made you start to question your gender identity or just the liking girls part? If the second, then well, we can pretty much all relate haha
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
|
|
|
| |
|
Artichoke
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:07 PM
Post #35360
|
|
nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
- Posts:
- 7,116
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #7
- Joined:
- Jan 30, 2013
|
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
Spoiler: click to toggle Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?
|
|
|
| |
|
Guest
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:09 PM
Post #35361
|
|
Unregistered
|
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 03:33 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 03:22 PM
^Why didn't they just call him English? Assuming he has the accent.
I honestly have no idea. If you hear someone with an English accent, surely you'd call them English rather than by their colour? Seems so dumb. Well, he was mostly just annoyed because they referred to him as African-American all of the time. I'd get it if he didn't speak, but I assume he wasn't mute the whole time, so idk. "English". yep, that's why I said they're obsessed with race and skin color I think the issues they had regarding race messed up their views of it. african-american is so damn stupid, I mean wtf, yeah his ancestors were african like what, 700 years ago? I see no one calling white americans english-americans, and yes, it was explained because that's considered the "deafult" white, but how about AFRICAN-american? The person should be just american, it's almost as if the person is not completely part of the country.
|
|
|
| |
|
Guest
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:13 PM
Post #35362
|
|
Unregistered
|
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 05:23 PM
Honestly I don't really know how to start this and i'm bad at expressing my feeling in english (bad grammar), but at least I hope you can understand a bit of my problem and can give me some advice. Once again pardon my english Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore. Btw thank you
Thanks for sharing.  (And your English is perfectly fine, no need to be self-conscious) I don't know if I'll be of any help to you, I'm not good at giving advice and I've no experience with your situation. But do you mean that you feel disheartened/insecure because that comment made you start to question your gender identity or just the liking girls part? If the second, then well, we can pretty much all relate haha
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed hun, you're going through a hard time, it's very common to be like that especially when it comes to sexuality and who you really are in this world just stand there strong and know that you will get to the point where you will accept who you are as a whole, when it gets to that, whatever people say about won't matter, trust me is there any chance you can get professional help? it will make you deal with this hard moment in your life
|
|
|
| |
|
Artichoke
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:16 PM
Post #35363
|
|
nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
- Posts:
- 7,116
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #7
- Joined:
- Jan 30, 2013
|
- Guest
- Sep 25 2013, 06:09 PM
yep, that's why I said they're obsessed with race and skin color I think the issues they had regarding race messed up their views of it. african-american is so damn stupid, I mean wtf, yeah his ancestors were african like what, 700 years ago? I see no one calling white americans english-americans, and yes, it was explained because that's considered the "deafult" white, but how about AFRICAN-american? The person should be just american, it's almost as if the person is not completely part of the country. I agree with you, I think. Nobody tries that shit here - if you're born in the country and black, you're a British person who's black, same with Asians. The official census has more formal categories, like Afro-Caribbean, but that's only if you want to put that down and p. much nobody uses that in day-to-day speech.
|
|
|
| |
|
Anon
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:16 PM
Post #35364
|
|
Unregistered
|
- Guest
- Sep 25 2013, 06:13 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 05:23 PM
Honestly I don't really know how to start this and i'm bad at expressing my feeling in english (bad grammar), but at least I hope you can understand a bit of my problem and can give me some advice. Once again pardon my english Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore. Btw thank you
Thanks for sharing.  (And your English is perfectly fine, no need to be self-conscious) I don't know if I'll be of any help to you, I'm not good at giving advice and I've no experience with your situation. But do you mean that you feel disheartened/insecure because that comment made you start to question your gender identity or just the liking girls part? If the second, then well, we can pretty much all relate haha
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
hun, you're going through a hard time, it's very common to be like that especially when it comes to sexuality and who you really are in this world just stand there strong and know that you will get to the point where you will accept who you are as a whole, when it gets to that, whatever people say about won't matter, trust me is there any chance you can get professional help? it will make you deal with this hard moment in your life x2
|
|
|
| |
|
Guest
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:17 PM
Post #35365
|
|
Unregistered
|
- Guest
- Sep 25 2013, 06:13 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 05:23 PM
Honestly I don't really know how to start this and i'm bad at expressing my feeling in english (bad grammar), but at least I hope you can understand a bit of my problem and can give me some advice. Once again pardon my english Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore. Btw thank you
Thanks for sharing.  (And your English is perfectly fine, no need to be self-conscious) I don't know if I'll be of any help to you, I'm not good at giving advice and I've no experience with your situation. But do you mean that you feel disheartened/insecure because that comment made you start to question your gender identity or just the liking girls part? If the second, then well, we can pretty much all relate haha
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
hun, you're going through a hard time, it's very common to be like that especially when it comes to sexuality and who you really are in this world just stand there strong and know that you will get to the point where you will accept who you are as a whole, when it gets to that, whatever people say about won't matter, trust me is there any chance you can get professional help? it will make you deal with this hard moment in your life DA Don't give up! Read up on the internet for similar cases so you know you're not alone
|
|
|
| |
|
Guest
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:17 PM
Post #35366
|
|
Unregistered
|
- Guest
- Sep 25 2013, 06:17 PM
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 06:13 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
Quoting limited to 4 levels deep Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore.
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
hun, you're going through a hard time, it's very common to be like that especially when it comes to sexuality and who you really are in this world just stand there strong and know that you will get to the point where you will accept who you are as a whole, when it gets to that, whatever people say about won't matter, trust me is there any chance you can get professional help? it will make you deal with this hard moment in your life
DA Don't give up! Read up on the internet for similar cases so you know you're not alone *sorry it's SA
|
|
|
| |
|
TriBox
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:33 PM
Post #35367
|
|
- Posts:
- 25
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #272
- Joined:
- Sep 25, 2013
|
- Lingerie_Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 05:46 PM
Tribox :) Hey bb! Wish I could answer you wayyy better, but I’m at work, therefore I bounce around the internet a lot. ^^ Anyways. My heart goes out to you so much. Like, I had the opposite problem, kinda. I’ve always been quite feminine, so when I came out to my parents there was SUPER SHOCK. haha I’m not sure what country you’re from, so I won’t even start lecturing on being “out and proud” until you’re ready and safe. As for your style--as long as you’re comfortable in your skin, embrace that. That teacher was being quite unprofessional by calling you out like that. Boo them.
Btw: Have you looked through our new-ish LGBTQ thread? There may be some helpful stuff for you to read through, since I’m sure that others can relate. Maybe you could post on there, too, so it won’t get lost in discussion. :3
And your english is fine! I understood everything.
Awww thank you so much
Spoiler: click to toggle Well when that teacher throw that question I was like "dafuq is wrong with you, why you need to say that out loud". It's just my easy going personality, my thick face can save me from that situation and just masking my self "whatever". But after that class, I still have another class with some people from previous class, and almost the entire lecture that people eyeing me. I was really trying to hold my self from angry to them (well i'm quite tempramental). Since then i just can't see people in the eyes. I'm scared to see what they saw in me and avoiding me. I'm so down right now
|
|
|
| |
|
TriBox
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:33 PM
Post #35368
|
|
- Posts:
- 25
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #272
- Joined:
- Sep 25, 2013
|
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 06:07 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
Spoiler: click to toggle Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?
Spoiler: click to toggle clue: 140913
|
|
|
| |
|
orangedaffodils
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:48 PM
Post #35369
|
|
Let ε <0
- Posts:
- 4,094
- Group:
- Moderator
- Member
- #102
- Joined:
- Feb 26, 2013
|
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 06:09 PM
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 03:33 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 03:22 PM
^Why didn't they just call him English? Assuming he has the accent.
I honestly have no idea. If you hear someone with an English accent, surely you'd call them English rather than by their colour? Seems so dumb. Well, he was mostly just annoyed because they referred to him as African-American all of the time. I'd get it if he didn't speak, but I assume he wasn't mute the whole time, so idk. "English".
yep, that's why I said they're obsessed with race and skin color I think the issues they had regarding race messed up their views of it. african-american is so damn stupid, I mean wtf, yeah his ancestors were african like what, 700 years ago? I see no one calling white americans english-americans, and yes, it was explained because that's considered the "deafult" white, but how about AFRICAN-american? The person should be just american, it's almost as if the person is not completely part of the country. Like I said, it's mainly the fault of our census categories - they're heavily outdated and don't have very specific categories. Makes things difficult for black diaspora who are are, say, afro-Caribbean and maybe don't identify with African Americans. Though you can't really deny that African American culture has a unique history which sets itself apart from the perceived "default"; like I said before, to lump people together as just "American" is essentially ignoring the many other factors that make up their cultural identity.
You consider it dividing, but by ignoring it you're sweeping the associated problems specific to a certain race underneath the rug instead of actually addressing the issues.
|
|
|
| |
|
TriBox
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:49 PM
Post #35370
|
|
- Posts:
- 25
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #272
- Joined:
- Sep 25, 2013
|
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 06:16 PM
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 06:13 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 05:39 PM
Quoting limited to 4 levels deep Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore.
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
hun, you're going through a hard time, it's very common to be like that especially when it comes to sexuality and who you really are in this world just stand there strong and know that you will get to the point where you will accept who you are as a whole, when it gets to that, whatever people say about won't matter, trust me is there any chance you can get professional help? it will make you deal with this hard moment in your life
x2  Thank you so much guys, seriously thank you
Spoiler: click to toggle I'm already trying to understand the consequence and already accepted my self for who i am. I already comfortable enough about how i live my life before that reality starting to knock my door last week. I'm thinking to make a base for my life first then after I already can stand in my own feet, i'm considering to open up this matter to my family if nothing changes in my life. Even still my biggest worry is what if my family especially my parents disowned me. That's my biggest worry, other than that i'm sure i can continue my life without much problems. I'm trying to look for any helps, but I still can't really find it and still scared to see people right now. And without no one in real life know about my problem i think it's more harder for me to look for helps.
|
|
|
| |
|
babycakes
|
Sep 25 2013, 06:55 PM
Post #35371
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,500
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #134
- Joined:
- Apr 24, 2013
|
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
Spoiler: click to toggle ... That's pretty tough.. so it's more a social thing? Tbh I feel you on the family situation, I usually politely play along when relations/family friends joke about me dating a nice boy. I would recommend you see a counselor (like anon suggested) or at least talk to someone (you can trust) irl about this. I mean, we're definitely here to support you but it's good to see a professional about these matters especially if you think you might be really depressed. You've got a lot of time left so just take it slow and remember to sleep (being sleep-deprived is only going to make you more anxious). I hope you feel a little bit better after letting it out here? I don't know the people in your environment and how they'd react but, honestly, if they're judgmental of you because of who you are then they're not worth your time.
|
|
|
| |
|
Artichoke
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:01 PM
Post #35372
|
|
nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
- Posts:
- 7,116
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #7
- Joined:
- Jan 30, 2013
|
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 06:48 PM
You consider it dividing, but by ignoring it you're sweeping the associated problems specific to a certain race underneath the rug instead of actually addressing the issues. More socioeconomic status than race, from the studies I've seen.
|
|
|
| |
|
Die Zicke
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:07 PM
Post #35373
|
|
Caffeine is good for you.
- Posts:
- 1,721
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #167
- Joined:
- Jun 6, 2013
|
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 06:48 PM
Though you can't really deny that African American culture has a unique history which sets itself apart from the perceived "default"; like I said before, to lump people together as just "American" is essentially ignoring the many other factors that make up their cultural identity.
You consider it dividing, but by ignoring it you're sweeping the associated problems specific to a certain race underneath the rug instead of actually addressing the issues. I agree.
|
|
|
| |
|
orangedaffodils
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
Post #35374
|
|
Let ε <0
- Posts:
- 4,094
- Group:
- Moderator
- Member
- #102
- Joined:
- Feb 26, 2013
|
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 07:01 PM
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 06:48 PM
You consider it dividing, but by ignoring it you're sweeping the associated problems specific to a certain race underneath the rug instead of actually addressing the issues.
More socioeconomic status than race, from the studies I've seen. They're intrinsically linked, here.
|
|
|
| |
|
Anon
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
Post #35375
|
|
Unregistered
|
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 07:01 PM
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 06:48 PM
You consider it dividing, but by ignoring it you're sweeping the associated problems specific to a certain race underneath the rug instead of actually addressing the issues.
More socioeconomic status than race, from the studies I've seen. race is associated with socioeconomic disadvantage as far as what i've read from research
|
|
|
| |
|
Anon
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
Post #35376
|
|
Unregistered
|
*not disadvantage, i mean status
|
|
|
| |
|
babycakes
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:11 PM
Post #35377
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,500
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #134
- Joined:
- Apr 24, 2013
|
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 06:16 PM
I agree with you, I think. Nobody tries that shit here - if you're born in the country and black, you're a British person who's black, same with Asians. The official census has more formal categories, like Afro-Caribbean, but that's only if you want to put that down and p. much nobody uses that in day-to-day speech. x2 Same here, I guess. People will sometimes ask your "nationality" but it's only because it's understood that you're Australian (we're all Australian), because if you've been speaking for a while then it's pretty obvious who's a local/foreigner. No one I know would say that they're whatever-Australian.
It's something that I've always wondered about the US, if you're African-American, Asian-American, Latino-American, etc. isn't it a bit redundant to say as such? (I mean it's usually pretty readily apparent). If you're want to be more specific e.g. Korean-American then yeah maybe you're proud of your nationality/want people to know or something but if you're going to be vague, what's the point?
|
|
|
| |
|
Artichoke
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:11 PM
Post #35378
|
|
nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
- Posts:
- 7,116
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #7
- Joined:
- Jan 30, 2013
|
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
They're intrinsically linked, here. It's true that there's a strong correlation between race and socioeconomic status, but again, from what I've seen and read, differences in culture are originating mainly from things not directly related to race. Since income inequality in America is still rising, those within the lower income bracket probably won't be changing their circumstances any time soon, unless Obama decides to actually do something useful and fund state schools in low income areas so that (mostly black) students there can have the same standard of education as are in higher income areas.
Most essays and studies tend to go that way, anyway. I agree with them.
|
|
|
| |
|
Artichoke
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:14 PM
Post #35379
|
|
nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
- Posts:
- 7,116
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #7
- Joined:
- Jan 30, 2013
|
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
race is associated with socioeconomic *status as far as what i've read from research Yes, it is, for historical reasons, but there doesn't seem to be any definite causal relationship, only correlation. Modern "African-American" culture seems to be mainly derived from the circumstances in which they live, and has been noted to be shared by others in their situation, rather than something that's defined race alone.
Like I said, though, that's just from the studies I've read so far. If anyone has any other interesting articles or papers about it, I'd like to read them, so... Drop me a link?
|
|
|
| |
|
babycakes
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:15 PM
Post #35380
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,500
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #134
- Joined:
- Apr 24, 2013
|
Actually OT, do you guys have quick remedies for bruising? I'm averse to using concealer on my legs a la soshi.
|
|
|
| |
|
Artichoke
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:16 PM
Post #35381
|
|
nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
- Posts:
- 7,116
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #7
- Joined:
- Jan 30, 2013
|
- babycakes
- Sep 25 2013, 07:15 PM
Actually OT, do you guys have quick remedies for bruising? I'm averse to using concealer on my legs a la soshi. 

loljk No, I dunno. Sorry.
|
|
|
| |
|
Lingerie_Anon
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:20 PM
Post #35382
|
|
Unregistered
|
- Die Zicke
- Sep 25 2013, 07:07 PM
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 06:48 PM
Though you can't really deny that African American culture has a unique history which sets itself apart from the perceived "default"; like I said before, to lump people together as just "American" is essentially ignoring the many other factors that make up their cultural identity.
You consider it dividing, but by ignoring it you're sweeping the associated problems specific to a certain race underneath the rug instead of actually addressing the issues.
I agree. x2 Indeed.
|
|
|
| |
|
babycakes
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:21 PM
Post #35383
|
|
- Posts:
- 1,500
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #134
- Joined:
- Apr 24, 2013
|
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
race is associated with socioeconomic disadvantage as far as what i've read from research Did the research highlight underlying causes? I'm inclined to believe it's a result of restrictive access to education/employment (because racism per mine and anon's earlier discussion).
|
|
|
| |
|
Guest
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:24 PM
Post #35384
|
|
Unregistered
|
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:49 PM
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 06:16 PM
- Anon
- Sep 25 2013, 06:13 PM
- TriBox
- Sep 25 2013, 06:06 PM
Quoting limited to 4 levels deep Spoiler: click to toggle So I already know about my "ehm" even since I was a kid. I already like/see girls from boys pov (i'm tomboy btw). I never have any feelings towards any boys ever since I know love and always seeing girls. From my daily style, ofc you can tell how I never like using girls outfit or any girly things and have short hair cut. I don't know if my friends already know about it and just act like don't care about it, still don't have any clue. For my family, I thing my parents at least already have suspicion about it but trying to refuse to believe because they never trying to talk to me about it unless something like "why you not using more girly outfit, you already in your 20's" or "try to act more like a lady" and something like that. I, myself always asking if should I or not to tell about it to them, but for some reason I can't really do that, mainly because of family reputation. But something really hit me last week when one of my teacher ask me if i'm a boy or a girl in front of everyone, in class. I was like thrown to earth from above and everything seems dark for me. All this time, I don't really care about how people see me and just be myself. But after that incident, i'm starting to feel insecure about anything I do. I'm so down and depressed all this week. I skip almost all my class this week because i'm so scared about people eyes. I don't have anyone to tell this problem because still no one really know my true self. I don't know anymore. Spoiler: click to toggle Not really that, because I already know about my gender identity (i just don't like to put any label for myself). Well if you always liking girls and never have any interest towards boys, i think it's obvious. My real problem is about how people judgement starting to haunt me when all this time I don't really paid attention about that. I don't know after all this time why that last week accident really affected me mentally and starting to eat my mind. I don't really know how to explain it in better words but the point is how i'm starting to feel insecure to people around me about my true gender identity when people at least starting to aware about my condition. Don't you think it's weird seeing girl in their early 20's who act like boys, from personality and daily life, almost no girl traits and never look interested in boys? That's what I sense from people eyes and that's the reason why this week i just stay in my room almost all the time. I really want to tell the world about who I am, my true self, if i'm not a normal girl who supposed to love boys instead of girls. I already considering that choice if I think I need to do that. But I still scared about what people will say about me and mostly about my family and parents. At this time i just really want to cry and forget about this problem and die. I can't even sleep properly thinking about this all night. I'm so depressed
hun, you're going through a hard time, it's very common to be like that especially when it comes to sexuality and who you really are in this world just stand there strong and know that you will get to the point where you will accept who you are as a whole, when it gets to that, whatever people say about won't matter, trust me is there any chance you can get professional help? it will make you deal with this hard moment in your life
x2 
Thank you so much guys, seriously thank you Spoiler: click to toggle I'm already trying to understand the consequence and already accepted my self for who i am. I already comfortable enough about how i live my life before that reality starting to knock my door last week. I'm thinking to make a base for my life first then after I already can stand in my own feet, i'm considering to open up this matter to my family if nothing changes in my life. Even still my biggest worry is what if my family especially my parents disowned me. That's my biggest worry, other than that i'm sure i can continue my life without much problems. I'm trying to look for any helps, but I still can't really find it and still scared to see people right now. And without no one in real life know about my problem i think it's more harder for me to look for helps. I see, you can always rely on the internet and testimonies of people going through the same hard time
|
|
|
| |
|
orangedaffodils
|
Sep 25 2013, 07:25 PM
Post #35385
|
|
Let ε <0
- Posts:
- 4,094
- Group:
- Moderator
- Member
- #102
- Joined:
- Feb 26, 2013
|
- Artichoke
- Sep 25 2013, 07:11 PM
- orangedaffodils
- Sep 25 2013, 07:08 PM
They're intrinsically linked, here.
It's true that there's a strong correlation between race and socioeconomic status, but again, from what I've seen and read, differences in culture are originating mainly from things not directly related to race. Since income inequality in America is still rising, those within the lower income bracket probably won't be changing their circumstances any time soon, unless Obama decides to actually do something useful and fund state schools in low income areas so that (mostly black) students there can have the same standard of education as are in higher income areas. Most essays and studies tend to go that way, anyway. I agree with them. These things don't exist in a vacuum though. It's a very vicious cycle and race is a huge factor that plays a part in it. No one is saying that race is the sole cause, but to assume race doesn't play a determining factor in socioeconomic status is misleading. African-American culture encompasses more than just "being poor" - they share a specific English dialect as well as common racial history and all the stigma, familial values, and societal expectations that come with it. That is something that even disenfranchised whites cannot say they share.
It's not really up to Obama, it's up to state legislature. The Board of Education has control over some things, but specific school districts are handled - at the highest - at the state level.
If you want some articles and stuff, even the NY times opinion pieces can be pretty insightful about racial inequality and how that ties into socioeconomic status - try looking there first.
|
|
|
| |
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
|