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LGBTQ; News, updates & gossip.
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Topic Started: Sep 9 2013, 12:11 AM (19,586 Views)
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orangedaffodils
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Sep 12 2013, 03:35 PM
Post #281
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Let ε <0
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- Windmill
- Sep 12 2013, 01:28 PM
That's great and all, but that's still no proof. Reminds me of Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde, Evan Rachel Wood, Anna Paquin, etc.. They all come out publicly as bi-sexual yet we never ever seen them in a relationship with a woman before. Well some of them are married, which is why we don't see them with women lol
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Windmill
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Sep 12 2013, 03:46 PM
Post #282
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Gertrude
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- orangedaffodils
- Sep 12 2013, 03:35 PM
- Windmill
- Sep 12 2013, 01:28 PM
That's great and all, but that's still no proof. Reminds me of Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde, Evan Rachel Wood, Anna Paquin, etc.. They all come out publicly as bi-sexual yet we never ever seen them in a relationship with a woman before.
Well some of them are married, which is why we don't see them with women lol  Some of them came out before they got married.
I do want to get married. Kids? Hell no!
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Guest
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Sep 12 2013, 03:56 PM
Post #283
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Unregistered
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- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 02:22 PM
- Anon
- Sep 12 2013, 11:02 AM
Continuing the species is a biological imperative, humans also have societal and cultural forces at work for wanting offspring. Perhaps she wants her line to continue as most do but how nice she doesn't seem to be bothered by your sexuality, that come what may attitude is one many wish their parents had.
Oh, I know that much, it's just funny. There's no way I'm giving birth to a kid, ever. Does anyone else want kids/want to get married? I'm open to both, except I don't want to be the birthing parent.
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Guest
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Sep 12 2013, 04:03 PM
Post #284
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Unregistered
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idk about getting married but I do want to adopt a kid and give him/her a good life
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Guest
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Sep 12 2013, 04:40 PM
Post #285
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Unregistered
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- Windmill
- Sep 12 2013, 01:28 PM
That's great and all, but that's still no proof. Reminds me of Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde, Evan Rachel Wood, Anna Paquin, etc.. They all come out publicly as bi-sexual yet we never ever seen them in a relationship with a woman before. uhh you do realize that you can be bisexual and still never date someone of the same sex?
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Dyslexia
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Sep 12 2013, 04:44 PM
Post #286
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- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 01:26 AM
Plot tiwst: our moms r closeted. Lol that's what I suspect, mine stares at women a lot there was this one out of many times when I gave her a ride to her friend's house and while stopping at the traffic lights we both kept staring at this girl who was crossing the road wearing those Yoga pants in front of us. It was weird and funny
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Windmill
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Sep 12 2013, 04:50 PM
Post #287
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Gertrude
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- Sep 12 2013, 04:40 PM
- Windmill
- Sep 12 2013, 01:28 PM
That's great and all, but that's still no proof. Reminds me of Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde, Evan Rachel Wood, Anna Paquin, etc.. They all come out publicly as bi-sexual yet we never ever seen them in a relationship with a woman before.
uhh you do realize that you can be bisexual and still never date someone of the same sex? Of course I do! It's just that I think sexuality shouldn't necessarily be something you have to announce to the world, especially if it isn't needed. And I feel like some of them might came out for publicity.
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Windmill
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Sep 12 2013, 04:52 PM
Post #288
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Gertrude
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- Dyslexia
- Sep 12 2013, 04:44 PM
- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 01:26 AM
Plot tiwst: our moms r closeted.
Lol that's what I suspect, mine stares at women a lot there was this one out of many times when I gave her a ride to her friend's house and while stopping at the traffic lights we both kept staring at this girl who was crossing the road wearing those Yoga pants in front of us. It was weird and funny My mother is unnecessarily homophobic quite often and it makes me wonder why she constantly has to bring it up out of nowhere. She's either just a homophobe or there is something more going on there.
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Dyslexia
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Sep 12 2013, 05:06 PM
Post #289
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- Windmill
- Sep 12 2013, 04:52 PM
- Dyslexia
- Sep 12 2013, 04:44 PM
- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 01:26 AM
Plot tiwst: our moms r closeted.
Lol that's what I suspect, mine stares at women a lot there was this one out of many times when I gave her a ride to her friend's house and while stopping at the traffic lights we both kept staring at this girl who was crossing the road wearing those Yoga pants in front of us. It was weird and funny
My mother is unnecessarily homophobic quite often and it makes me wonder why she constantly has to bring it up out of nowhere. She's either just a homophobe or there is something more going on there. You should ask her to make sure, ask her if she's homophobic
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Abc
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Sep 12 2013, 05:07 PM
Post #290
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The real cat lady.
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- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 02:22 PM
Does anyone else want kids/want to get married? No, I don't want to have kids just for the sake of having them, or for the sake of nit being lonely in the future. Kids are very troublesome and they, in order for them to grow up adequately, you need to dedicate them a lot of time, and right now I am only thinking about my career. So definitely no. Besides, I don't really like them
And marriage, no. Lol
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Guest
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Sep 12 2013, 05:10 PM
Post #291
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Unregistered
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i met this new colleague of mine yesterday. we're both new staff and due to the nature of our job scopes, she gets to rotate around different departments while i'm always stationed at one place. she's not gorgeous looking tbh but she has really beautiful eyes.. plus she kinda pinged.. i hope i wasn't being too obvious stealing glances at her during work yesterday..
i got home feeling really happy about this eye candy, told my mom about this eye candy at work during dinnertime but i did not use the word 'her' at all. my mom replied 'i told you to look at men, not women..stop talking while eating fish' Spoiler: click to toggle  mom knows i'm gay but she doesn't want to accept it we ate dinner without speaking anything but i was spazzing inside my head
- i met my new colleague earlier today and i was surprised to see her early in the morning too.. i let out a gasp but she was gone before i could say 'hi' or 'good morning'..hopefully i'll get to see her again
/sorry i just wanted to let this out
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Dyslexia
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Sep 12 2013, 05:27 PM
Post #292
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- Guest
- Sep 12 2013, 04:03 PM
idk about getting married but I do want to adopt a kid and give him/her a good life Yeah I'd love to adopt a kid, but not babies I'd adopt a teenager then maybe I'd adopt a younger kid ... I should think more about it, this is serious business
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orangedaffodils
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Sep 12 2013, 06:57 PM
Post #293
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Let ε <0
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No to marriage and HELL NO for little gremlins running around
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Rexie
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Sep 12 2013, 06:59 PM
Post #294
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Your friendly neighborhood T-Rex
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- orangedaffodils
- Sep 12 2013, 06:57 PM
No to marriage and HELL NO for little gremlins running around  ^this!!! X473208570283479285029834704830240832
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Die Zicke
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Sep 12 2013, 07:00 PM
Post #295
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Caffeine is good for you.
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Yes to marriage, if I find the right woman. Not sure about kids. One step at a time.
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6.63E-34
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Sep 12 2013, 07:08 PM
Post #296
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For me, I think it's still a tad too early to be thinking about marriage and children. I'm open to the possibility, though.
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Lasagna
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Sep 12 2013, 09:10 PM
Post #297
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- babycakes
- Sep 12 2013, 09:55 AM
- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 01:11 AM
^ lol, my mom keeps saying stuff like that whenever the family mentions me getting into a relationship for the first time. "Maybe she won't come home with a boyfriend, maybe it'll be a girlfriend", or "you know it doesn't matter what your sexuality is". I'm like, mom. Shush. Are you hinting that you want me to be? she knows Q: Can you consider yourself out to people if you don't make any effort to conceal your sexuality but haven't explicitly told them either?I never know how to answer when people ask me if I'm out because I'm not certain what their criteria for "out" is. When I meet new people, I don't usually discuss my sexuality with them (it doesn't usually come up). However, I find that eventually, they might ask me if I'm dating (a guy), to which I usually just answer in the negative without tacking on the "I don't like guys". All of my close friends know and some newer friends do as well but, without exception, the reaction is "Thanks for telling me, I wouldn't have picked it, ever". If you're not readable as a gay and you don't announce it, are you technically in the closet? For me, even with the price of being single I'd rather remain not announced to the outer public not because I'm uncomfortable with the label(I passed that high school shit) but because I'm a very private individual and I think my sexual preference ain't anyone's business. I'm aware that this is utopistic but I think other people should stop assuming that every person on the earth is straight. Do you know if someone is right or left handed? No you don't and since left handed humans exist you should ask and not walk around thinking if you alone are right handed everyone else is, I think no matter which minority you belong to you shouldn't feel you have to walk around with a sing on your forehead just to avoid misunderstandings. Then again if you feel like you want to, that's fine too, you shouldn't gaf. But this is just wishful thinking, a level of equality which isn't possible at least where I live.
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Artichoke
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Sep 12 2013, 09:26 PM
Post #298
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nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
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idk, treat being gay as people treat being straight and don't mention it unless the conversation is related, e.g. if you're describing your ideal type and someone asks you if you're gay because you're only mentioning the same sex. I don't see people going around mentioning how STRAIGHT they are and BTW I'M STRAIGHT and LOOK AT MY STRAIGHTNESS and SPEAKING AS A STRAIGHT PERSON all of the time, so why should any other orientation be different? I don't think making it this huge thing you have to tell absolutely everyone is necessary to be "out".
People who make a big deal about their sexuality have always annoyed me. Like, I'm sure there's more interesting things about you than who you want to bang, and if there isn't, you must be incredibly dull.
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Die Zicke
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Sep 12 2013, 09:30 PM
Post #299
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Caffeine is good for you.
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- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 09:10 PM
- babycakes
- Sep 12 2013, 09:55 AM
- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 01:11 AM
^ lol, my mom keeps saying stuff like that whenever the family mentions me getting into a relationship for the first time. "Maybe she won't come home with a boyfriend, maybe it'll be a girlfriend", or "you know it doesn't matter what your sexuality is". I'm like, mom. Shush. Are you hinting that you want me to be? she knows Q: Can you consider yourself out to people if you don't make any effort to conceal your sexuality but haven't explicitly told them either?I never know how to answer when people ask me if I'm out because I'm not certain what their criteria for "out" is. When I meet new people, I don't usually discuss my sexuality with them (it doesn't usually come up). However, I find that eventually, they might ask me if I'm dating (a guy), to which I usually just answer in the negative without tacking on the "I don't like guys". All of my close friends know and some newer friends do as well but, without exception, the reaction is "Thanks for telling me, I wouldn't have picked it, ever". If you're not readable as a gay and you don't announce it, are you technically in the closet?
For me, even with the price of being single I'd rather remain not announced to the outer public not because I'm uncomfortable with the label(I passed that high school shit) but because I'm a very private individual and I think my sexual preference ain't anyone's business. I'm aware that this is utopistic but I think other people should stop assuming that every person on the earth is straight. Do you know if someone is right or left handed? No you don't and since left handed humans exist you should ask and not walk around thinking if you alone are right handed everyone else is, I think no matter which minority you belong to you shouldn't feel you have to walk around with a sing on your forehead just to avoid misunderstandings. Then again if you feel like you want to, that's fine too, you shouldn't gaf. But this is just wishful thinking, a level of equality which isn't possible at least where I live. I'm sorry, bb.
I often take for granted that I still live in a (relatively) open country where I have at least some rights. Not too many people in our situation are afforded that opportunity.
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Artichoke
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Sep 12 2013, 09:32 PM
Post #300
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nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
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- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 09:10 PM
For me, even with the price of being single I'd rather remain not announced to the outer public not because I'm uncomfortable with the label(I passed that high school shit) but because I'm a very private individual and I think my sexual preference ain't anyone's business. I'm aware that this is utopistic but I think other people should stop assuming that every person on the earth is straight. Do you know if someone is right or left handed? No you don't and since left handed humans exist you should ask and not walk around thinking if you alone are right handed everyone else is, I think no matter which minority you belong to you shouldn't feel you have to walk around with a sing on your forehead just to avoid misunderstandings. Then again if you feel like you want to, that's fine too, you shouldn't gaf. But this is just wishful thinking, a level of equality which isn't possible at least where I live. Eventually, progression will be made. With each younger generation, there is more and more acceptance, so something like what you said will end up happening.
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ShipCaptain
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Sep 12 2013, 09:33 PM
Post #301
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Caviar Cartel
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idk, treat being gay as people treat being straight and don't mention it unless the conversation is related, e.g. if you're describing your ideal type and someone asks you if you're gay because you're only mentioning the same sex. I don't see people going around mentioning how STRAIGHT they are and BTW I'M STRAIGHT and LOOK AT MY STRAIGHTNESS and SPEAKING AS A STRAIGHT PERSON all of the time, so why should any other orientation be different? I don't think making it this huge thing you have to tell absolutely everyone is necessary to be "out".
People who make a big deal about their sexuality have always annoyed me. Like, I'm sure there's more interesting things about you than who you want to bang, and if there isn't, you must be incredibly dull.
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Jeccica
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Sep 12 2013, 09:37 PM
Post #302
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Yes to both marriage and kids for me. I want a daughter!
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Lasagna
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Sep 12 2013, 09:55 PM
Post #303
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- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 09:32 PM
- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 09:10 PM
For me, even with the price of being single I'd rather remain not announced to the outer public not because I'm uncomfortable with the label(I passed that high school shit) but because I'm a very private individual and I think my sexual preference ain't anyone's business. I'm aware that this is utopistic but I think other people should stop assuming that every person on the earth is straight. Do you know if someone is right or left handed? No you don't and since left handed humans exist you should ask and not walk around thinking if you alone are right handed everyone else is, I think no matter which minority you belong to you shouldn't feel you have to walk around with a sing on your forehead just to avoid misunderstandings. Then again if you feel like you want to, that's fine too, you shouldn't gaf. But this is just wishful thinking, a level of equality which isn't possible at least where I live.
Eventually, progression will be made. With each younger generation, there is more and more acceptance, so something like what you said will end up happening. Oh I'm sure this will be real one day, even without me being alive lol. That straight sentence in ur other post, I legit loled. IA with every word and it's annoying why should my orientation be a note that needs to be checked every time some related topic is mentioned but that's just how it is I can't do much about it in this decade. @DZ it's fine, I'm happy it's easier for some people
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Artichoke
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Sep 12 2013, 10:01 PM
Post #304
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nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
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- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 09:55 PM
Oh I'm sure this will be real one day, even without me being alive lol. That straight sentence in ur other post, I legit loled. IA with every word and it's annoying why should my orientation be a note that needs to be checked every time some related topic is mentioned but that's just how it is I can't do much about it in this decade. Yeah... I once met this asexual chick who would NOT stop bringing it up every damn sentence. "Speaking as an asexual...", "Well, I'm asexual, so..", "btw, as an asexual...", "I feel uncomfortable with this as an asexual...", etc. Eventually, everyone stopped speaking to her because she didn't talk about anything else, which she of course blamed on the fact that we were asexualphobic, or whatever. I'm sorry we don't find your sex life interesting enough to discuss your lack of it constantly.
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Die Zicke
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Sep 12 2013, 10:47 PM
Post #305
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Caffeine is good for you.
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- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 09:26 PM
idk, treat being gay as people treat being straight and don't mention it unless the conversation is related, e.g. if you're describing your ideal type and someone asks you if you're gay because you're only mentioning the same sex. I don't see people going around mentioning how STRAIGHT they are and BTW I'M STRAIGHT and LOOK AT MY STRAIGHTNESS and SPEAKING AS A STRAIGHT PERSON all of the time, so why should any other orientation be different? I don't think making it this huge thing you have to tell absolutely everyone is necessary to be "out".
People who make a big deal about their sexuality have always annoyed me. Like, I'm sure there's more interesting things about you than who you want to bang, and if there isn't, you must be incredibly dull. I try not to make a big deal out of anything, but I've encountered a few interesting situations during my first few weeks of class. In undergrad, my close friends knew of my sexuality and never made a big deal of it unless it was related to whatever we were talking about. Now that I'm at a new school, making new friends, and meeting so many new people it seems like I have to come out all over again, which I hate.
For instance, one guy asked me (and only me) out for a drink after the first week of class was over. I politely declined, but he said "don't worry I'll pay, I'm a great date", so I again politely informed him that I only date girls. He was understanding about it, but now every time we talk he feels the need to hammer home the point that he's cool with my sexuality and wants me to be one of the bros. He keeps asking me if I have a girlfriend, nearly every single time I see him. And he feels entitled to tell other classmates that I date girls, too, like it's so cool and he wants to emphasize the fact that he's friends with someone like me. I hope that I'm more interesting than just who I bang lol.
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Artichoke
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Sep 12 2013, 10:59 PM
Post #306
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nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
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- Die Zicke
- Sep 12 2013, 10:47 PM
I try not to make a big deal out of anything, but I've encountered a few interesting situations during my first few weeks of class. In undergrad, my close friends knew of my sexuality and never made a big deal of it unless it was related to whatever we were talking about. Now that I'm at a new school, making new friends, and meeting so many new people it seems like I have to come out all over again, which I hate.
For instance, one guy asked me (and only me) out for a drink after the first week of class was over. I politely declined, but he said "don't worry I'll pay, I'm a great date", so I again politely informed him that I only date girls. He was understanding about it, but now every time we talk he feels the need to hammer home the point that he's cool with my sexuality and wants me to be one of the bros. He keeps asking me if I have a girlfriend, nearly every single time I see him. And he feels entitled to tell other classmates that I date girls, too, like it's so cool and he wants to emphasize the fact that he's friends with someone like me. I hope that I'm more interesting than just who I bang lol. People like that weird me out a little bit, like somehow he thinks it's acceptable to be the Town Crier for other people's potentially very private information. Doesn't it make you uncomfortable?
Also, I think you are, but he seems like he might not share that thought, if he's making that big of a deal about it.
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Guest
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Sep 12 2013, 11:44 PM
Post #307
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Unregistered
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- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 09:26 PM
idk, treat being gay as people treat being straight and don't mention it unless the conversation is related, e.g. if you're describing your ideal type and someone asks you if you're gay because you're only mentioning the same sex. I don't see people going around mentioning how STRAIGHT they are and BTW I'M STRAIGHT and LOOK AT MY STRAIGHTNESS and SPEAKING AS A STRAIGHT PERSON all of the time, so why should any other orientation be different? I don't think making it this huge thing you have to tell absolutely everyone is necessary to be "out".
People who make a big deal about their sexuality have always annoyed me. Like, I'm sure there's more interesting things about you than who you want to bang, and if there isn't, you must be incredibly dull. THIS! THIS! THIS! X999999
I Totes agree. I hate it when other gay people try to make me more out and stuff. Like, I don't need a giant sign that says "HEY I'M GAY, LOOK AT ME GUYZ" On my head. I don't care if not everyone knows if I'm gay or not cause I know I don't know if everyone is straight or not either. And if I wanted to be treated like the majority(ie straight people) than I should act like the majority. And like you said, the majority don't go around every 10 seconds proclaiming how straight they are to the world, so why should I say how gay I am to everyone? Honestly, being gay only defines one thing about yourself, who you like, and nothing else. I hate it when people try and make it anything more than that
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babycakes
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Sep 13 2013, 12:57 AM
Post #308
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- Lasagna
- Sep 12 2013, 09:10 PM
For me, even with the price of being single I'd rather remain not announced to the outer public not because I'm uncomfortable with the label(I passed that high school shit) but because I'm a very private individual and I think my sexual preference ain't anyone's business. I'm aware that this is utopistic but I think other people should stop assuming that every person on the earth is straight. Do you know if someone is right or left handed? No you don't and since left handed humans exist you should ask and not walk around thinking if you alone are right handed everyone else is, I think no matter which minority you belong to you shouldn't feel you have to walk around with a sing on your forehead just to avoid misunderstandings. Then again if you feel like you want to, that's fine too, you shouldn't gaf. But this is just wishful thinking, a level of equality which isn't possible at least where I live.
Spoiler: click to toggle It’s actually funny that you mentioned left-handed people because I catch myself falling into this trap all the time lol. [Tangent] Obviously, I know they exist and it’s silly to make assumptions about this type of thing but there are times when I think to myself “Oh, so you’re a leftie, I didn’t know that”, which suggests I’d unconsciously made assumptions as to otherwise. I wonder if this is the same for many straight people regarding gays. If so, I’d hope they have a similar reaction. (Although it’s significantly easier to discern my preferred hand than it is my preferred sex).
It would be nice to live in a world where “coming out” is a redundant concept, tbh I was/am not at all fond of it because it implies that you had been hiding/ashamed before such time you decided to liberate your inner gay or something. I only thought to ask the question because, in considering the question posed by Abc, I realised that I wasn’t sure what it could mean to be “out”. I meant to ask that, considering we live in an imperfect world where people will assume that you are heterosexual if you don’t present as a stereotypical homosexual, if you allow them to continue this assumption, is this equivalent to being “in the closet”? (This is similar to the notion of non-disclosure being equal to explicit deception). But I do realise that it’s neither my fault if people decide to make unjustifiable assumptions about me, nor is it my obligation to correct these.
Having typed all this, I'd like to say that I'm not as hung up on the notion of being "out" as this post might suggest. I'm merely curious as to your opinions on the matter as I have no gay friends/otherwise interested parties with whom to discuss these issues irl. edit: I'm open to the idea of marriage and children although I don't feel I'd make a very good parent.
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Artichoke
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Sep 13 2013, 01:11 AM
Post #309
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nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
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- babycakes
- Sep 13 2013, 12:57 AM
Spoiler: click to toggle It’s actually funny that you mentioned left-handed people because I catch myself falling into this trap all the time lol. [Tangent] Obviously, I know they exist and it’s silly to make assumptions about this type of thing but there are times when I think to myself “Oh, so you’re a leftie, I didn’t know that”, which suggests I’d unconsciously made assumptions as to otherwise. I wonder if this is the same for many straight people regarding gays. If so, I’d hope they have a similar reaction. (Although it’s significantly easier to discern my preferred hand than it is my preferred sex).
It would be nice to live in a world where “coming out” is a redundant concept, tbh I was/am not at all fond of it because it implies that you had been hiding/ashamed before such time you decided to liberate your inner gay or something. I only thought to ask the question because, in considering the question posed by Abc, I realised that I wasn’t sure what it could mean to be “out”. I meant to ask that, considering we live in an imperfect world where people will assume that you are heterosexual if you don’t present as a stereotypical homosexual, if you allow them to continue this assumption, is this equivalent to being “in the closet”? (This is similar to the notion of non-disclosure being equal to explicit deception). But I do realise that it’s neither my fault if people decide to make unjustifiable assumptions about me, nor is it my obligation to correct these.
Having typed all this, I'd like to say that I'm not as hung up on the notion of being "out" as this post might suggest. I'm merely curious as to your opinions on the matter as I have no gay friends/otherwise interested parties with whom to discuss these issues irl.
Spoiler: click to toggle I don't think it's inherently bad to make assumptions, per se, especially things like that where there's a clear statistical majority. The number of left-handed people is so outnumbered by right-handed people that it makes sense that someone would just assume that you're right-handed out of sheer probability, and upon being corrected, it's not really a big deal, so the response would be, "oh, okay", and they know from then-on out how to refer to you.
For me, "coming out" IS a redundant concept, purely for the reason that people react to it here how they would react to being corrected about assuming you're right-handed, and nobody cares beyond being casually informed (again, speaking about my experiences, there are dickheads everywhere). Which gender(s) you want to sleep with is only the concern of the people you want to sleep with, so it's not necessary to bring it up unless someone voices their assumption and it's incorrect.
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Lasagna
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Sep 13 2013, 01:15 AM
Post #310
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- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 10:59 PM
- Die Zicke
- Sep 12 2013, 10:47 PM
I try not to make a big deal out of anything, but I've encountered a few interesting situations during my first few weeks of class. In undergrad, my close friends knew of my sexuality and never made a big deal of it unless it was related to whatever we were talking about. Now that I'm at a new school, making new friends, and meeting so many new people it seems like I have to come out all over again, which I hate.
For instance, one guy asked me (and only me) out for a drink after the first week of class was over. I politely declined, but he said "don't worry I'll pay, I'm a great date", so I again politely informed him that I only date girls. He was understanding about it, but now every time we talk he feels the need to hammer home the point that he's cool with my sexuality and wants me to be one of the bros. He keeps asking me if I have a girlfriend, nearly every single time I see him. And he feels entitled to tell other classmates that I date girls, too, like it's so cool and he wants to emphasize the fact that he's friends with someone like me. I hope that I'm more interesting than just who I bang lol.
People like that weird me out a little bit, like somehow he thinks it's acceptable to be the Town Crier for other people's potentially very private information. Doesn't it make you uncomfortable? Also, I think you are, but he seems like he might not share that thought, if he's making that big of a deal about it. I may be wrong but I have this guy friend whose kind of an specialty lol is having multiple lezzie friends like he's our messiah and is so proud and defending about it, it's funny actually, I've analyzed why is that so exciting to him and I think it's a "hey look at how much gay girl friends I have which you'll never have" thing in front of other dudes I mean lmao, he's all for gay rights and rly a nice guy, you can't hate him so maybe it's something similar in question with that dude too lol
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babycakes
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Sep 13 2013, 01:27 AM
Post #311
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- Artichoke
- Sep 13 2013, 01:11 AM
Spoiler: click to toggle I don't think it's inherently bad to make assumptions, per se, especially things like that where there's a clear statistical majority. The number of left-handed people is so outnumbered by right-handed people that it makes sense that someone would just assume that you're right-handed out of sheer probability, and upon being corrected, it's not really a big deal, so the response would be, "oh, okay", and they know from then-on out how to refer to you.
For me, "coming out" IS a redundant concept, purely for the reason that people react to it here how they would react to being corrected about assuming you're right-handed, and nobody cares beyond being casually informed (again, speaking about my experiences, there are dickheads everywhere). Which gender(s) you want to sleep with is only the concern of the people you want to sleep with, so it's not necessary to bring it up unless someone voices their assumption and it's incorrect. Ah I share your experience of having people respond quite casually to the notion of my fancying women, well there is some surprise but nothing negative. It isn’t a big deal here either.
I suppose the fact that I also perceive “coming out” as an obsolete concept is also the reason I’m unsure what to make of it when people ask me about it, because I’ve never considered it, because I think it irrelevant, if that makes sense.
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Artichoke
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Sep 13 2013, 01:35 AM
Post #312
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nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima belli causa
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- babycakes
- Sep 13 2013, 01:27 AM
Ah I share your experience of having people respond quite casually to the notion of my fancying women, well there is some surprise but nothing negative. It isn’t a big deal here either. I suppose the fact that I also perceive “coming out” as an obsolete concept is also the reason I’m unsure what to make of it when people ask me about it, because I’ve never considered it, because I think it irrelevant, if that makes sense. I'm glad to hear it. Progressivism, one place by another, lol.
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Die Zicke
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Sep 13 2013, 02:06 AM
Post #313
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Caffeine is good for you.
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- Lasagna
- Sep 13 2013, 01:15 AM
- Artichoke
- Sep 12 2013, 10:59 PM
- Die Zicke
- Sep 12 2013, 10:47 PM
I try not to make a big deal out of anything, but I've encountered a few interesting situations during my first few weeks of class. In undergrad, my close friends knew of my sexuality and never made a big deal of it unless it was related to whatever we were talking about. Now that I'm at a new school, making new friends, and meeting so many new people it seems like I have to come out all over again, which I hate.
For instance, one guy asked me (and only me) out for a drink after the first week of class was over. I politely declined, but he said "don't worry I'll pay, I'm a great date", so I again politely informed him that I only date girls. He was understanding about it, but now every time we talk he feels the need to hammer home the point that he's cool with my sexuality and wants me to be one of the bros. He keeps asking me if I have a girlfriend, nearly every single time I see him. And he feels entitled to tell other classmates that I date girls, too, like it's so cool and he wants to emphasize the fact that he's friends with someone like me. I hope that I'm more interesting than just who I bang lol.
People like that weird me out a little bit, like somehow he thinks it's acceptable to be the Town Crier for other people's potentially very private information. Doesn't it make you uncomfortable? Also, I think you are, but he seems like he might not share that thought, if he's making that big of a deal about it.
I may be wrong but I have this guy friend whose kind of an specialty lol is having multiple lezzie friends like he's our messiah and is so proud and defending about it, it's funny actually, I've analyzed why is that so exciting to him and I think it's a "hey look at how much gay girl friends I have which you'll never have" thing in front of other dudes I mean lmao, he's all for gay rights and rly a nice guy, you can't hate him so maybe it's something similar in question with that dude too lol I'm not gonna turn down support, but sometimes it gets uncomfortable. I just try to remember that he's trying to be welcoming and supportive, even if he's about as subtle as a brick to the face.
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Guest
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Sep 13 2013, 02:23 AM
Post #314
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Unregistered
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Just out of curiosity, where are you guys from? I'm from California, and haven't really had a negative reaction to my coming out (although I've only told a few people so far). I'm thinking of going to uni in another state and I wonder how the reaction will be there.
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orangedaffodils
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Sep 13 2013, 02:29 AM
Post #315
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Let ε <0
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- Sep 13 2013, 02:23 AM
Just out of curiosity, where are you guys from? I'm from California, and haven't really had a negative reaction to my coming out (although I've only told a few people so far). I'm thinking of going to uni in another state and I wonder how the reaction will be there. Don't come to Texas.
I kid...but not really. Unless ofc you're going to Austin, though it still has its hangups.
Source: me, a Texan
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