| protect ichimatsu 2k16; since he won't do it himself! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 21 2016, 07:28 PM (420 Views) | |
| IchimatsuBoy | Mar 21 2016, 07:28 PM Post #1 |
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[Karamatsu's had sort of a bad feeling for a while now, about where Ichimatsu might have gone. He never mentioned a job in specific, nor offered any address for visiting or anything, and he's a little bit harder to contact than his other brothers, so... he's been worried. Today, that feeling is only magnified. It's been two days or so since Ichimatsu's answered his text messages, and that's... actually unusual. He hasn't felt like Ichimatsu really liked him in years, but he'd at least kept up responding to Karamatsu's texts checking in on him. Maybe that was just to make sure he wouldn't be bothered by any more direct meddling...?] [Whatever the reason, he hasn't answered now, and Karamatsu can't help but worry -- maybe he's worrying too much where he has no place to be, but still... So he's out looking tonight, making rounds at the nearby internet and manga cafes. It makes him feel a little guilty, that that's where he thinks his brother is living, but... It's just a feeling. He hopes he's wrong. It's not like anyone wants to tell him whether or not Ichimatsu's stayed there, and because they're all adults, saying he ran away from home doesn't really work to leverage information out of people...] [It's been a couple hours of searching, and at this point he just sort of slumps against the wall outside of one, frustrated and trying hard not to cry, because that's not going to help him find his little brother by any means.] |
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| IchimatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 09:17 PM Post #31 |
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I never stopped, okay? And I never loved you less. I just -- I really want you to know that. I was always proud of you, too. [There can't be anything more heartbreaking than feeling like Ichimatsu probably did and thinking that your family thought less of you for it, for being withdrawn or sad or anything at all.] [He knows he must look like a mess, though, blushing for sure at hearing that, with all the tears running down his face and his nose probably running... it's embarrassing, but he still pulls back to give Ichimatsu a weak smile.] Would you stay, then? For more than a little while? With me? |
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| KaramatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 09:40 PM Post #32 |
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I wouldn't blame you if you had... but I believe you, okay? [Karamatsu couldn't be anything but sincere anyway, it feels like. Really, it's easy to imagine him blaming himself, and that's a whole new wave of pain for Ichimatsu.] [That gets pushed to the side so quickly though, when Karamatsu asks what he does. And Ichimatsu is sure his eyes go wide, still watery and all, just... stunned, a little.] How long can I...? |
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| IchimatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 09:48 PM Post #33 |
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[He'll work on that later, on getting Ichimatsu to be a little kinder to himself and realize that he doesn't deserve every bad thing or bit of anger that Karamatsu might have even hypothetically had. For now, though...] I-I meant, for as long as you'd want... You don't have to leave at all... |
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| KaramatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 09:59 PM Post #34 |
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O-okay... [He'd like to say more but it's his turn to dissolve into sobs, head on his brother's shoulder. It's not... fun, per se, it's not all positive, but in some ways it feels nice to let go, especially being held by the person he loves so much.] Thank you. Thank you so much... |
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| IchimatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 10:07 PM Post #35 |
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Ichimatsu... [He reaches up to pet his brother's hair softly, just some gentle strokes, hoping to help sooth him a little, at least. Karamatsu shuts his eyes, kissing the top of Ichimatsu's head, as well, even though that makes him blush a bit again.] Thank you, too. I know you might not believe it, but I'm happy. And I really... I know this is a good decision, having a life with you. ... So thank you. |
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| KaramatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 10:20 PM Post #36 |
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[Those small gestures are truly comforting, but he's also glad just to be with Karamatsu like this. He's glad for any skin contact or other affectionate gestures he now feels like he can actually accept, openly, from his brother.] I... I really want this too. I'm happy you feel so sure. [He still feels a little less than sure about whether it's what's best for Karamatsu, but it's so plain this makes him happy that surely that counts for something.] |
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| IchimatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 10:25 PM Post #37 |
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I was always sure about you. [There's no doubt, there. This means a whole plethora of dreams he had when he was younger could actually happen, too. He used to think about it a lot, about getting to live with Ichimatsu, just the two of them... Ichimatsu waking him up with soft kisses, maybe taking a morning shower together... He still blushes at the thought, but it's possible now and that makes his stomach flip.] So... Quit punishing yourself, okay? It's gonna be great. We're gonna be great. |
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| KaramatsuBoy | Mar 23 2016, 10:53 PM Post #38 |
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[Ichimatsu nods a little. He's going to try, anyway. And for the time being, if he can't have faith in himself on this, he'll have faith in Karamatsu. And maybe one day he'll have faith in both of them, individually and together.] Okay... I am sorry, though. Really sorry. [It just feels like he needs to say it again. How can a few words make up for all the time, after all? And he buries his face in Karamatsu's neck.] I love you so much. |
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| IchimatsuBoy | Mar 24 2016, 09:46 AM Post #39 |
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I know. I forgive you. [Really. People have such varying opinions on what forgiveness is, or what it's supposed to accomplish, but Karamatsu agrees with the statements that it's for yourself most of all. He wouldn't be happy, holding onto any blame or resentment towards Ichimatsu, especially not in the face of all this, so. Some things will still hurt, but, he'd rather forgive.] And I love you, too. And as long as there's love, we'll be fine. |
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| KaramatsuBoy | Mar 24 2016, 11:01 AM Post #40 |
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[He squeezes Karamatsu some, maybe to comfort himself. That forgiveness feels like it came so quickly for so many years of his garbage Karamatsu put up with. But maybe that's exactly why he doesn't want to wait either. Ichimatsu knows he doesn't, but he wouldn't push that were the same not true for Karamatsu.] I want you to be happy... I want to make you happy if I can, instead of what I've been doing. [It's mumbled against his shoulder, but it feels like something he should have had the strength to say firmly while looking his brother in the eye. But Karamatsu thinks they're going to be fine, and that's reassuring at least.] |
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