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*grumblesgendergrumbles*; Just an identity update topic.
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Topic Started: Aug 13 2016, 10:23 PM (545 Views)
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chou.
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Aug 13 2016, 10:23 PM
Post #1
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So like I've been on and off The Flux and now that I've returned I feel like I have a confession to make.
I've spent most of my life thinking I'm cis-gendered female, and while, yes, I'm fairly comfortable with the she/her pronouns, I feel very insecure about my overall gender identity. It's a bit weird, but hear me out: I feel myself more inclined to be a white knight of a sort, I play a more (traditionally) masculine role with friends who are more feminine than I am. And I don't really feel like I'm completely female, in terms of identity. That said, I don't feel dysphoric at times I don't feel feminine, I just feel that mentally I am more fluid than I have grown up to think I am.
Now I know we're a group of open-minded people, this is why I'm putting this out there.
It isn't a big deal, it's just a confession that I'm genderfluid. I like being whatever I am around you guys, and whatever you guys see me as, I'm sure it fits with my identity and how comfortable I feel with myself. I'm too used to the heteronormative culture of Malaysia and my religion, but that won't stop me from truly feeling more like a genderfluid person than I am of any of the either gender. I dress up in a feminine way, and I mostly identify with female characters, and that's because I've always felt the need to have to identify to something female due to having been born as one, and also because of religious obligations (to which is more forced by my family than it is by the religion itself) and I just.
I just wanted to let you guys know this. Any pronouns is fine with me and I know we are used to the feminine pronouns when talking about me or thinking about me but honestly, that's cool, I'm seeing it as more gender-neutral nowadays, which is why I hardly make a huge deal out of it anyway. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
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Flamewrought
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Aug 13 2016, 10:39 PM
Post #2
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-gives you a reassuring hug- I may not know you well, but know that I'm glad for you that you're discovering more about yourself. And that you're comfortable, too. I'm a bit awkward, so I apologize if this comes off as odd. Just glad for you. Breaking from what's drilled in by society, family, or religion is always tough, and know you have at least my support. I'm almost certain the rest of the Flux would agree. -nods-
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chou.
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Aug 13 2016, 11:23 PM
Post #3
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Please, don't worry about it at all! I am grateful to know that you do support me at all. It's wonderful, so thank you! Don't feel like it's odd or somehow weird to just casually provide someone with that support and company you have to offer.
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Spire
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Aug 13 2016, 11:45 PM
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That's alright, Chou, thank you for sharing this.
It's good to know, and I certainly have an open mind about how people would prefer to identify themselves gender-wise. It's nothing to be ashamed about in my opinion, although I understand that cultural norms can make it difficult.
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chou.
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Aug 14 2016, 06:48 AM
Post #5
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It warms my heart to know this, Spire. Thank you very much.
Yeah, it's definitely just that much more difficult with cultural norms, but knowing I get some support makes it easier.
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Xion Asuka
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Aug 14 2016, 09:15 AM
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Wanna be a pest? Then die like the rest.
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Just saw this. Honestly, it'll take some getting used to this, but it's far from a problem. o: I've always seen and known you as a female, but I can easily accept you as genderfluid status too. I'm reminded when Magna wanted to be referred to as female as well... It took some getting used to, but i'm not the kind of person to go 'No, this is what I see you as' or anything. If you want to be known as one gender or another, let me know in advance. No matter the gender, you'll easily have one big happy and weird family here to accept you no matter what. =p
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Red November
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Aug 14 2016, 10:21 AM
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Chou, it takes a lot of bravery to talk about this topic, and I'm glad you could trust us with it.
Gender, by its nature, is fluid. Gender is a social construct (unlike sex, which indicates only what 'parts' you have). And so if you don't feel you need to abide by societies rules about fitting into those gender norms, than more power to you!
I find the idea of gender roles, and people having to be a certain way--such as a girl, to wear dresses, talk all the time, wear their heart on their sleeves, not do too much work, or don't be bold and masculine--or guys not being able to share their emotions, dress nicely, or not enjoy getting angry--is very limiting, and ridiculous assumptions are made about the individuals that choose to do this. I think it's commendable you are breaking these barriers.
I don't fit traditional gender roles either, but I have never chosen to identify myself as anything other than female, as I feel the only thing that truly identifies me is my parts, and not my behavior. But the beauty of the difference between what I choose and what you choose is that we CHOOSE it, and no one should be able to tell us what is right and what is wrong.
Lol I probably sound more like an info-dump on political correctness. I am familiar with the concept, as I study psychology, and prefer to take a scientific stance on it. I apologize if I come off as cold, or way too factual. I do indeed support whatever decisions you make, 100%!
You just let us know if there is anything we can do to help.
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chou.
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Aug 14 2016, 11:00 AM
Post #8
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@ Cion - yeah, I'm quite sure most of us around here have always seen me as a female figure and it's really, really not a problem. Again, I don't feel dysphoric, neither do I see a problem with that. It doesn't, in any way, disregard the fact that I am genderfluid. So don't feel like you have to change on how you view me. I know this little cosy family we have here is accepting. <3
@ Tails - don't worry about coming off as factual or scientific, I am fairly familiar with this too. But I've always been more fluid, in terms of mentality, and I have always thought it to be strange that I don't just fit in that "female" mold. Like I'm overflowing. It doesn't mean I don't fit in the traditional gender role, nor does it mean I'm disregarding the established gender roles -- it just means I don't fit in the molds perfectly. I'm constantly swishing in between. Gender is very vague to me, although traditionally and generally I am feminine. I still don't see it as "absolute" nor does it determine my gender, so here we go - I'm genderfluid. Thanks for the support, too. It's meaningful to me. <3
I want to thank you guys for the amount of support, and I want to let you guys know that I feel the same for you guys.
Not to forget, I'll also bring up another serious discussion in a bit. I'll try to make it more general rather than focused on myself (although I'll bring up an experience to add to examples!)
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Shine
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Aug 14 2016, 04:17 PM
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chou!! thank you for sharing this with us, I'm not sure I can say anything helpful that hasn't already been said, but I wanted to let you know that I think you're really really awesome exactly as you are ^^;
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Elixir
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Aug 15 2016, 05:29 PM
Post #10
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Chou, this might sound kinda assholish, but there's something called a tomboy that exists. You're probably closer to that than genderfluid or whatever. You're just a bit boyish, doesn't mean your some sort of neutrality in the gender spectrum.
Sometimes the simpler answer is the right one.
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