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Eir vs draugr
Topic Started: Nov 2 2014, 10:42 PM (84 Views)
Love Family


Eir, the youngest of the daughters of frigg love, commonly viewed as one of the best healers around walked into the arena, not many had showed up that normally showed up, this had not been viewed as one of the big fights, Eir was not like baldr, or any of the big league fighters she didnt draw the crowds, but those that had shown were people that long had suspected Eir was more than meets the eye.
Armed with only a metal rod she calmly walked into the arena, she was facing 5 of the draugr, norse zombies, corpses with dark blue skin, each one around 250-pounds, skin like leather, strong bastard that turn into mist and heal themselves if hurt.
Eir had nothing on these guys, while she was tall for a female being above 6 feet tall she was still shorter then these guys and far skinner, far weaker.
but what she did have on these guys were speed, nimbleness and knowledge also a metal stick she had found in the arena, she thinks it might be a plumbing pipe, in truth it is a hollowed out iron bo stick, it belonged to a fighter that died in the arena.

Eir looked at her enemies run at her, these guys were not the slow shambling kind, these were Hels guard, dead warriors with a grudge to grind, ready to tear her limb from limb if they got their boney hands on her.

as the first came close to her she did a quick spin attack, putting her entire body behind the swing, and using her metal weapon as a focusing tool she delivered a bone shattering blow to the first enemy's right side fibula, something she followed up with moving the staff up the calf and pushing so the zombie fell on his back from applied pressure to the back of his knee.

before she could deliver any more blows a 2nd norse zombie had gotten to her, a uick move that kind of looked like a dance move later and she delivered a potent blow to the groin of the norse zombie, finding out that unlike the wolfman this zombie did not indeed have any nards.

finding out this did not however worry her, a quick twirl of her staff combined with a jump and she delivered a blow to the zombies head and heard something shatter.

and then she felt it, cold, dead hands grabbing her, the fibula attacked zombie had mistified itself and healed the bone break, and was now getting ready to take a bite out of Eir, so she did what any love family member would do she conjured her wings and quickly deconjured them coating the warrior in ectoplasm.

ectoplams that like all ectoplasm that has no magic to hold it in shape was slimey, slimey enough to allow her to break free from her hold, escaping only with minor cuts to her clothing, a snapped bra strap and a few scrapes on her right shoulder.

the curse she lied on the draugr has no direct translation in any tongue of human or bird, the closest animal tongue that it can be translated to is the dog vomit slime mold, but rest assured that it is a most foul curse and if humanity spent a millennia making up new words and phrases for bad things that can happen they might get close to having a translation for what she said, so what people heard was her saying the word "jingle bells" over and over and over as the love family's translation magic failed to convey her words in any other way, but be sure that her jingle bells were indeed most foul.


using her staff as a pole vaulting tool she got on the shoulders of one of the blue skinned posthumans and using her well defined leg muscles she did what could best be described as a i will pop your head with my legs move, many men would not mind dying this way, so would many women, and a handful of other apes.

as she was not her sister she lacked the strength to break bones with her thighs but she did have something her sister lacked, a head full of hair she could pull between her legs, she she started pulling hairs of the zombie's head like a small child would, all the while keeping the zombie from being able to bite her by sheer leg power locking the jawbones of death in place.

as the 4 other enemies got over the shock of pole vaulting (it was the first time they had seen it ever) they worked out that they should help their now hairless friend that was receiving Eir's strange punishment of trying to do a drum solo with her closed fists,

as they got closer she leaned forwards tipping the balance of the zombie, she guided it to land painfully on his back with his head tipped back, the portion of her body that is between her legs resting on he warrior's head,pinning it to look what would be up if it stood up, but since he was on the ground the top of his head had just been driven down into the ground.

Eir got up and pointed at two zombies "i think you are a match made in helheim"

she watched as the two warriors fell madly in lust with each other, the sexual kind and the hungry kind you only see in shonens with gluten protagonists in it.

now she had only 3 to worry about the one she had driven to the ground, and two more, she picked up her staff and went twirly, spinning the staff around to block any attacks and deliver strikes to hands.

the draugar being actually pretty smart beings looked at the two who were now doing something i would be banned for telling you about, but since the two can heal any injury they gain it is needlessly gruesome and will last forever.

they then looked at eir and tried to think about if fighting her was worse than what hel would do to them, and while they were working out this Eir had time to walk around them, drawing a circle in the ground around the non "love" making deadites, the end result of her circle being 3 trapped dead guys, 2 doing the wild cannibalistic monkey dance and one eir trying to work out the right spell to make the trapped beings transfixed on their follow men
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