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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 5 2007, 10:27:31 PM (227 Views) | |
| 1fdsa | Dec 5 2007, 10:27:31 PM Post #1 |
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wow... today was a joke. This morning i hopped in the shower after cutting my chin and mustache 8 times with my worthless disposable razor, felt some pain while washing my face, realized they were raised welts (cystic acne). I opened the shower curtain and looked straight down at the tile, i was so close to getting out and swinging on the tiles as hard as i could... i must have stared at them for 5 minutes. But anyway, i get out and feel a really strong urge to use the bathroom... i normally hold it for 3 or 4 days cause i hate doing #2 lol.... But this was day 5... and i HAD to go. NOW. I sat on the toilet after i got dressed and took a half diarrhea, half solid release. The solid part was so thick and wide that i honestly felt some of the worst pains of my life during the pushing. I started pulling up my pants right as the last bit fell out, tightened my belt and flushed the toilet... See i never believed in wiping before, thought it was a waste of time and what not, ... I mean I never get anything from wiping anyway so wtf is the point... right? holy god was i wrong... i got to school and felt solid clumps deep between my cheeks, i figured my boxers were bunched up or summat. Right as i made it to my first period door i thought i felt something wet against my boxers... when i sat down my hypothesis was correct.. i had feces on them, and could start to smell them slightly. The damned room must have been 90 degrees, heat blowing because a computer malfunctioned, my ass and back started to sweat profusely and i had to make as little movement as possible to avoid disrupting it anymore. My teacher called me up to get a test paper, I thought about telling him to just throw it away, but of course i had to be an ideot and go up to get it, i walked by one kid and he said "dude you smell like bbq or something" My face got so red and everyone started saying "holy **** you smell bad man, did you shower???" I ignore them and get back to my desk... i take a look back at the board and notice a black dot on the ground, kids started questioning what it was and my heart started RACING. One kid sniffed it and exclaimed "OH MY GOD, ITS POOP!!!!" at this point the ****was laughing excessively, i put my head down on my desk and smelled FUMES coming out from below it, i looked down and there was **** smeared all over the tile floor and on the bottoms of my jeans. I ran full speed out the door, walked home and ended up punching my dads laptop on the way in and breaking the screen, he still isn't home, its gonna be hell when he sees it. I can honestly say im dropping out of school and enlisting in the marines, im NEVER showing my face at high school again. I mean it doesnt matter anyway, my GPA is 1.2 and im a 19 year old sophmore. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah I'm really banned, ip bans really work dumb uk fag.
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| Mike | Dec 5 2007, 10:35:53 PM Post #2 |
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Unregistered
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you sound cool |
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| z3 noob jr | Dec 5 2007, 10:42:59 PM Post #3 |
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u shud go emo and kill urself |
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| wcking179 | Dec 5 2007, 10:43:36 PM Post #4 |
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Leader
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lmfao...but ouch :| |
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| 1fdsa | Dec 5 2007, 10:49:03 PM Post #5 |
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lol tlp - gullible |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah I'm really banned, ip bans really work dumb uk fag.
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| wcking179 | Dec 5 2007, 10:51:18 PM Post #6 |
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I can read small objects, tlp not gullible poop face |
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| Chill | Dec 5 2007, 10:52:01 PM Post #7 |
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play it cool kiby
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tl;dr |
| jesus christ its a snail | |
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| 1fdsa | Dec 5 2007, 10:52:20 PM Post #8 |
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tdr;l |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah I'm really banned, ip bans really work dumb uk fag.
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| wcking179 | Dec 5 2007, 10:57:55 PM Post #9 |
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Leader
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td;rl |
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| 1fdsa | Dec 5 2007, 11:01:42 PM Post #10 |
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bbl going to kara at 8, need to go buy my defense elixirs & potions! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah I'm really banned, ip bans really work dumb uk fag.
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| Chase | Dec 5 2007, 11:05:49 PM Post #11 |
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Oldfag
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I LAUGHED SO HARD!!! |
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Deutschland [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/axfmlf.gif[/IMG] | |
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| anal_hurts | Dec 5 2007, 11:07:12 PM Post #12 |
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Andy
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im lost you hold your shit in for 3-4 days jesus christ. and ha ha you shat yourself at school! |
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QUOTE=Narsil,Jan 7 2008, 01:55 AM] I don't masturbate anywhere near as much as normal teenagers do, I'd rather get twenty or so posts. [/QUOTE] [align=center] ![]()
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| Drhm Att Blk | Dec 5 2007, 11:11:17 PM Post #13 |
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HOLY FUCK 1.2 GPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG TEACH ME MASTER |
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| anal_hurts | Dec 5 2007, 11:11:46 PM Post #14 |
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Andy
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is that good? im english and i dont understand |
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QUOTE=Narsil,Jan 7 2008, 01:55 AM] I don't masturbate anywhere near as much as normal teenagers do, I'd rather get twenty or so posts. [/QUOTE] [align=center] ![]()
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| Chill | Dec 5 2007, 11:42:52 PM Post #15 |
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play it cool kiby
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2.5 is about average, out of 4.0 Soo.. |
| jesus christ its a snail | |
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| anal_hurts | Dec 5 2007, 11:47:31 PM Post #16 |
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Andy
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right so he goes into the category of retard then? lol unitard, special needs kid with a horn |
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QUOTE=Narsil,Jan 7 2008, 01:55 AM] I don't masturbate anywhere near as much as normal teenagers do, I'd rather get twenty or so posts. [/QUOTE] [align=center] ![]()
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| xx j m g xx | Dec 6 2007, 12:03:42 AM Post #17 |
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Dont mess with the truth
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I can read small things it says gullible your dumb. |
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whip pks: 85 Barrows pks: 28 Godsword pks: 4 Party hat pks: 23 1/2 ![]()
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| Narsil | Dec 6 2007, 12:39:25 AM Post #18 |
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My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius
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HAHA YOU WEAR WOMAN'S UNDERWEAR AND WANT A DILDO UP YOUR ASS.
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RIP Copper, I'll miss you. Official Member of the United States Navy
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| Tim | Dec 6 2007, 12:44:19 AM Post #19 |
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7-4
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ROFORLFORLFORLFORLFORLOFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROLFORLFORLFV lol. |
![]() I knew that you wouldn't change, but I bit my tongue and swore, Resigned myself to carry on despite you. But you would not match my stride and cried, "Foul! Foul! How could you expect me to care about somebody else?" And after all, who would expect anything else from you? lmao wats up friend - SKOTTY | |
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| xx j m g xx | Dec 6 2007, 12:58:35 AM Post #20 |
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Dont mess with the truth
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^ laugh |
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whip pks: 85 Barrows pks: 28 Godsword pks: 4 Party hat pks: 23 1/2 ![]()
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