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a favour, if you will
Topic Started: Jul 13 2012, 09:41 AM (316 Views)
thatguy1280
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Dapper as fudge
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so i was bored
i wrote a creepypasta sorta thing. late at night/early in the morning, so you know it's gonna be good. I kinda want to do a reading of it, mostly for fun but i'd like a bit of feedback on it before i do, a) for the hell of it, b) so i can fine-tune it a bit before i do it, and c) because you guys know creepypastas, and as such are qualified to give feedback on them. from memory this is the first time i've finished a story meant to be creepy, so don't expect too much from it. if you could read it, give a little feedback i'd be quite grateful, but if you don't wanna then that's ok too :D it's a little bit long, but i hope it's worth the time

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mirandagames
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Feels like a plastic bag.
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I'm not a writter so I don't know how to critique it but, I read it and it's really unique and cool! Good Job
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Sparky
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Sparktastic!
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Hmmmm i shall read this when not busy. Looks nice tho.
EVERYONE SMILE!..or i will have my way with you >:D

Hiya i'm Sparky
 
Maggot
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Who's a good boy? Not you! ◕‿‿◕
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How did I not notice this? Wow, this is just amazing. Your writing style is so good.
Secret Nazi Maggot: I do not move out of the way.

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Metora
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Love clem
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thatguy1280
Jul 13 2012, 09:41 AM
so i was bored
i wrote a creepypasta sorta thing. late at night/early in the morning, so you know it's gonna be good. I kinda want to do a reading of it, mostly for fun but i'd like a bit of feedback on it before i do, a) for the hell of it, b) so i can fine-tune it a bit before i do it, and c) because you guys know creepypastas, and as such are qualified to give feedback on them. from memory this is the first time i've finished a story meant to be creepy, so don't expect too much from it. if you could read it, give a little feedback i'd be quite grateful, but if you don't wanna then that's ok too :D it's a little bit long, but i hope it's worth the time

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To me... in the first paragraph was kinda sad but your writing skill,dat grammar,illustrations without painting,you sir earned a subscriber *mom comes by and says* your not in youtube -_-
Edited by Metora, Oct 20 2012, 11:45 AM.
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Meanders
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Pretty Swell
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As a fan of creepy pasta I have to say it was good! I liked your writing style in particular and thought it was unique. I also liked how your story didn't include some ghost or murderer like every other creepy pasta which sets your story apart and makes your story more memorable.
 
wulfsok
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Senselessly Profane
Show, don't tell.

Excluding a fine detail helps for the reader to create their own setting, rather than visualize yours. Sometimes I skip certain descriptors unknowingly as it's sort of a habit.

I like the subject matter, whenever the protagonist and antagonist are seemingly the same (I figure the shadow clock as the protagonists mind full of regret), it adds an extra moment of reflection.
My Place... MUAHAHAHA

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